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hi, My name is Don and I'm 58 years old. I live in the Seattle region of the US. I don't have an 'official' autism diagnosis but am about 99.3% sure I am an autistic aspie. I've avoided getting a formal diagnosis simply because of the cost I would have to pay financially, emotionally, and mentally. I heard from a cousin that when I was very young some doctor told my mom and grandma that he thought I might be the dreaded and hated R word (all autistic people were called that back then). I don't know if they ever had me tested as I was too young to remember any of it and they never directly said anything about it to me. Both are out of my life now so no way to find out, but from analysis of how they treated me I can only conclude that they knew the truth. My mom hated me for it and grandma tried to protect me from the world because of it.

Why am I here? To learn and hopefully connect with others. Socializing in the real world is next to impossible for me, I don't get people and their interests for the most part. Interacting through writing is much easier as it allows me the time and space to translate my thoughts intro words. As for learning, I always want to learn interesting things. Especially when they relate directly with me helping to understand my mind.

Is Don...is good.

(Advertising campaign for Don Smallgoods)

Welcome Don.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi Don ... Many Welcomes to the Wrong Planet world .... ,,hope you find topics of interest

Welcome to WP! I hope you find it a comfortable place to visit.

Hi Dan. Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I looked through some of your posts. You have been very busy. I noticed that you are curious, so I will try and answer some of your questions for you. Understand, this is my interpretation, so I might be wrong, but maybe not.

When you filled out a form describing yourself. You wrote: Favorite subjects: the mind, mental and spiritual patterns, meaning of life

Bob you really want to know the big stuff. O.K. Humans are a very complex creation. This is because we have multiple brains. One exist on the left side of our skull and it becomes the dominant daytime brain. But we also have a brain, a support brain that is on the right side of our skull. It is our night time brain which exist in REM and deep NREM sleep. But some of us die before we reach the age where the brains finish the process of changing from a child to an adult, which is around age 12. If that happens then something very interesting happens. I died when a large bull attacked me around age 3 or 4. I experienced what has been referred to as a near death experience. I stood next to my dead body. But I made the decision to come back, but I came back as my supporting right side brain. Eventually my left side came back but it became my night time brain. It is a brain flip.

So the reason why you are different is because I suspect that your dominant brain is your right side. This happens to many people. It can give us distinct advantages in life if you can learn how to use them. Some of the best scientist, artist, writers, musicians are right side brains.

Meaning of life? This is a very complex subject. Most people spend their entire lives trying to figure out this one. I think at age 75 and having died twice thus far, I think I am getting close to understanding. In a way humans are an outcast. We have been dropped into a planet far away in space. But we were not completely tossed aside. It is far more complex then any story I ever saw and there are many advanced being out there.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

welcome to our club, Don i also was thought by the PTB to be R'ed also when i was young.

The mind, such a beautifully horrifying place. I love wandering around in mine and getting lost in the vaguest corners.
the only problem is it gets lonely in there sometimes and I am forced to come out into the 'real world' for a little human interaction.

Getting almost killed by a bull sounds not fun. I caught pneumonia when I was very young, before I remember, and may or may not have died depending on who is asked. I got pulled overboard on a crab fishing boat when I was 25, for a moment I thought it was the end for me and saw my life flash before by eyes. Luckily the captain was awesome and they got me back onboard, but I my perspective on life was forever changed.

Am I right brained or am I left brained? That is honestly one of the questions I have about myself because I feel ambidextrous brained, both in strengths and weaknesses. I am extremely logical and analytical thinker, but am atrocious with social interactions in person. I identified with Data on STNG, an android who wanted to experience emotions. I'm amazing at recognizing and understanding emotions on one level yet completely incapable at recognizing let alone understanding their emotions or non verbal cues when they are towards me.

The meaning of life is indeed a massive subject to dive into, but the mind wants what the mind wants so I gave in and dove on in headfirst. I know it is a lifelong journey of discovery, with the last lesson being what happens when I die. I'm fine with that, it has been both a humbling and enlightening adventure so far that has shown me both darkness and light in myself and the world around me. I think each of us has our own personal meaning of life journey to take.

You asked, "Am I right brained or am I left brained?"
Then you said, "I am extremely logical and analytical thinker, but am atrocious with social interactions in person."
These are right brain characteristics. I would guess that you experienced death before age 12. That resulted in your brain switch.

You wrote, "I got pulled overboard on a crab fishing boat when I was 25, for a moment I thought it was the end for me and saw my life flash before by eyes."
You didn't die. I have had many near death experiences over my lifetime. My deep NREM brain moves at the speed of light and my REM brain is very similar to my daytime brain except very smart. About 4 years ago, I almost drowned. There was a flood and I was sucked into a 20 foot long pipe in the river. It would have been a death sentence except I had installed a very high quality pipe a few years before. I opened my eyes and instantly saw what was happening and where I was. I was inside a long pipe in a flood. Instantly my deep NREM brain came online and determined the correct course of action. I had to not fight the river. I had to move my arms next to my body. I had to let the river move me at 100 mph through the pipe. I had to wait for 3 seconds and then try and swim to the surface. The force was so strong. I shot out of the pipe like a speeding bullet. 3 seconds later I was 100 feet downstream. It tore some of the clothes off my body, the force was so great. But my brain knew what to do.

You wrote, "I think each of us has our own personal meaning of life journey to take."
I wish you a good life. Believe in yourself and your unique capabilities.

^^^^^^Amazing Jimmym. quite a experience and a save of your own life ....very impressive .
reminded me of my counterintuitive mechanism when my brain behaved similiarly,( I think )..
in flying a aircraft , you pull the yoke back to gain altitude . And had been admonished not to allow plane to be to low. on takeoff as the farmer at the end of the airfield had complained about noise . So naturally you want to climb up
and away ..but even with my engine at full throttle this time thus my climb was too steep. almost universally a departure , ( take off) Stall . most often is a Death sentence for plane and pilot .And this was a small plane.
but large wingspan ..And there I was falling backwards to the ground, inspite of trying to get level after the stall.
That other part of my brain took over . Whereas the natural tendency is to pull up, ( pull back on the yoke)
to get the plane to either stay up or level out . but a stall means no air moving over wing surface.. Hence you are now going straight down .So other side of brain configured to get airspeed , to get air movement over the wings.
Only way to achieve this was to dive the plane at the ground. But departure usually too close to the fround already.
So it followed the steeper the dive the faster air moved. At 25 ft above the ground . enough wind for the large wingspan to catch enough air to regain control ..And that is when you Pull up .Practically scrapping the landing gear on the ground
and leveling the plane practically at 3-5 foot altitude.It all happened like a bullit and landed smoothly ....One witnessed told me that was a spectacular stunt . As I passed him. In a strange sort of a haze of disbelief of what hapoened , I mumbled..... I did not do it on purpose .

Welcome Don!

Yes that was a good maneuver, a correct maneuver. I am surprised that you did learn this maneuver on your own.

There is a part of us that exists in deep NREM sleep that can move at the speed of light. And sometimes when our life depends upon it, this part can come online, and steer us to safety.

I have taken 3-4 different brain dominance tests over time in the past and scored approximately the same, 62%left brain and 38% right. My thinking is very left brain dominant as I think in a verbal manner and am extremely analytical and logical in how I process information.

Left Brain Traits,
Analytical Thinking: Strong skills in logic, reasoning, and critical thinking.
Detail-Oriented: Good at focusing on details and organizing information.
Mathematical Ability: Likely proficient in mathematics and scientific reasoning.

That being said, I do find myself using the right brain all the time, although nothing like the left. I do not think visually, unless I make a huge effort for usually rudimentary results. I am a horrible visual artist, but am can be quite creative given the right medium. I'm never quite sure how much autism affects my right brain skills, for instance in some ways I have very good emotional intelligence, in others I have almost none.

Right Brain Traits
Creativity: Strong imaginative skills, potentially excelling in creative endeavors like art, music, or writing.
Intuition: Ability to think outside the box and see the bigger picture.
Emotional Intelligence: Often better at understanding emotions and social cues.

While I believe I am left side dominant, I personally feel that my mind leans towards being more balanced. I can be very creative in several areas, such as writing poetry, because I'm able to use logic and reasoning to create the artistic pattern.

Implications of a Balanced Brain

Versatile Problem Solving: You may approach problems from multiple angles, integrating logical analysis with creative solutions.
Adaptability: You might find it easier to switch between tasks that require different types of thinking.
Effective Communication: Your ability to understand both analytical and emotional aspects can enhance your interpersonal skills.
Innovative Thinking: You may be able to generate unique ideas while also assessing their feasibility.


As for dying, my grandma told me that pneumonia had me on deaths door when I was 2-3. I was too young to remember so can only go on what I've been told there. As for near death, I've had a few experiences that were interesting. I got in a horrible roll over crash once with 2 friends and a baby. They were all injured while I walked away with minor glass cuts from shattered windows. Why? When things such as this happen time seems to slow way down, I was able to recognize what I needed to do to avoid getting hurt. I literally was able to mentally recognize how to move my body in mid air during the rolling over to protect myself in real time. I was also able to grab the baby from the air and somewhat protect it from most of the damage from that point on.

^^^^^^ Applause...save the baby ^^^^^^

ShwaggyD according to the internet,

The brain’s left half is primarily responsible for speech and abstract thinking. It also controls the right side of the body. The right side of the brain is responsible for image processing, spatial thinking, and movement in the left side of the body.

But what happens if your brain is damaged before it is completely developed? Does your two sides switch places? Does your left and right side develop differently? In order to survive, your brain does a reversal?

One of the interesting books that I read is called Whole Brain Living by Ph,D Jill Bolte Taylor. Around age 35, she suffered a massive stroke and almost died. She suffered a brain bleed. She describes her experience in her first book. It was a step by step of what happened during the first few hours after her stroke. Her description was over 100 pages. But then in her second book, the one above she describes how the human brain is broken into 4 different persons, each switching between one another. It is really interesting to view the brain as 4 separate beings.

For example, the condition called Bipolar is just a brain switch condition.

You wrote, "While I believe I am left side dominant, I personally feel that my mind leans towards being more balanced."
In general, most people are part of each side. Some have skills that are normally left sided and others have skills that are normally right sided. But some of us are much more extreme then others.

You wrote about one of your accidents, a car accident. You wrote, "When things such as this happen time seems to slow way down, I was able to recognize what I needed to do to avoid getting hurt. I literally was able to mentally recognize how to move my body in mid air during the rolling over to protect myself in real time. I was also able to grab the baby from the air and somewhat protect it from most of the damage from that point on."

Yes that is a skill that we possess. We can spin up our deep NREM brain and avoid an accident. Time slows down and we become very precise and critical.

But a death experience is deeper. When I died at around age 3 or 4 after being attacked by a bull, I came back and stood next to my dead body. My mind came online a couple hours after my death and my parents had taken me into my room and stood next to my body which was placed on my bed.

More recently, I suffered a massive stroke and my heart stopped beating for around 5 minutes. All the valves in my heart stopped beating. Then there was a spark of electricity and my heart tried to come back online. My body began to recover, but so much damage was down, that many of my primary regions in my brain had died. I lost all my knowledge of words and my ability to read. It took me over a day of hard work to figure out my name. Hours of work just relearning my name. Not only that but I lost my vision. The right half of each eye no longer sent information to my brain. So many injuries to correct when you died.