How have you changed over the years ?

Post Reply New Topic

How have you changed over the years ?

I have come back to my old account and in reading my previous posts and messages I realise a lot has changed about me, most of it for the better.

There is a little bit thats the same though. What is the same is I still have the same social struggles and issues with work but I did for a while have a job that lasted 7 years.

There are things I used to say to people that I wouldnt say now because its quite mean but at the time I didnt think it was mean.

There are topics I used to be interested in when I was younger that now I absolutely dislike or I am just not interested in anymore.

I realise some views I used to hold were wrong but I understand why I had them and it made sense for the time of my life but it doesnt make sense anymore.

Some minor things are that my profile picture is/was Lisbeth Salander from 'the girl with the dragon tattoo/millenial' series because I very much related to her character (she is also autsitic as noted in 3rd book).

I am/have changed my profile photo though because nowadays I don't relate so much to her and my environment is different.

How have you guys changed over time?

Interesting.
The simplest answer would be that we all change over time.
My life as an Asperger's sufferer is chock-full of deficits.
At 4 years old, I realized I had them.
So I tried to improve where I could.
I have no imagination.
I replaced that with imagination.
I like reading books; my first was Peter Pan (the Disney one).
I tried to learn from every creative thing there was.
I learned (somewhat) irony.
It took me 20 years, but I've succeeded.
I've changed several of my study habits.
I've lost interest in some, and those are the ones I've studied the most!
I've become less naive, even if this quirk remains with me...
I've learned patience.
I've understood that you can help people and enrich yourself psychologically.
I've changed cities; sometimes running away is a lifesaver.
I relied on a medication, the only one that worked for me.
I got worse with major depression and other issues.
I had a TIA.
For hours, half of my body was paralyzed.
But it apparently resolved itself.
My mind is different now, much slower than before.
For the rest, I trust my intuition.
I've saved lives.
I don't know if I'll succeed with mine.
I don't have a long-term future.

As a young adult, I had awful anxiety and zero coping skills and frequent emotional outbursts that I refused to get under control, which got worse over time.

As an older adult, I am now bitter and cynical with all kinds of disgust and frustration at the human race due to its ugly, destructive behavior and inability to accept cultural differences. In spite of this, I show a lot of kindness and love to my mother, who is one of the few humans left in the world who doesn't make me want to end myself.

I haven't changed much other than in physical/mental disabilities that crept up on me over the decades. I have gotten better at detailed work required in audio restoration tasks.

I think it depends a lot on the degree (level) of disability and which ones.
In improvement.
Some are very severe (there are many and different), and this depends on the degree.
I'll give you an example: a friend of mine's son has a very severe level.
He speaks very few words.
He has various types of deficits.

However, he has immense talent in painting and incredible talent in music.

Perfect pitch.

But without his mother who takes care of him in everything, he wouldn't be able to live alone or do anything.

He has a very high IQ.

I take an anti-anxiety medication because I need to function socially.
I've been using it for years to copy others (where I can).
And to mitigate sensory reactions to external stimuli.
§

Audio restoration: I have almost perfect pitch (it only takes me eleventh of a second to recognize that I know a noise, or a piece of music).
I write almost because compressed air has somewhat ruined my ability to mentally capture audio frequencies.

I love music.

Sometimes we're very naive, if not always.

Personally, I try never to talk to anyone.

People generally don't understand/listen to others.

§
I was always kind to my mother, too: she had Asperger's like m
Apparently, we're not racist in Europe.
But in reality, that's not quite the case.

In Italy, there's a false sense of non-racism.
For example, we interact with people from other nations.
But we rarely, if ever, mix.
They exist, but it's as if they weren't there.

§

I think it's precisely the cultural differences and the mixing of "ethnic groups" that made us better in Italy many centuries ago.
§
There's a sort of hidden Fascist vision, where we're supposed to be special compared to others, if not to anyone else.
§

It still exists.

§

In some regions, we're so rich that only immigrants ride the buses.

Do you know what they've done in some northern regions?

They've removed the bus shelters so they have no shelter from the sun or rain.

§
The others either drive in luxury cars or have a car anyway.

§
On the buses in Milan, I remember one late evening I took a trip where there were only two Italians.
I sat next to the Peruvians.

Once I did it on the train next to the Senegalese; no one would sit in that compartment; according to the others, "they smelled of dirt."

They smiled at me; I traveled 50 km on the train with them.

Thankz so much for you guys' replies,

Its interesting how frequently it comes up you guys saying your thinking is slowed or you developing a health problem or new disability.

At my age now I feel my mind is slower and I feel my problem solving skills are much worse now than before however I have not had a TIA or any injury like that

As a child I coulnd't read books (words only fiction), because I couldn't concentrate or finish them. Now I like reading.
I think I didn't understand when I said things that were rude. Now I learn to be kinder.
As a teenager I couldn't speak to anyone. I have learnt over time to make some small talk, but it's really difficult.
I couldn't make decisions or eat in restaurants. Now I try not to overthink and make a decision, but I still feel struggle in trying something new.
I couldn't buy clothes and I still can't buy clothes.
I couldn't get or hold a job, now I'm trying to learn how to work.
I struggled making and keeping friends. Now I am more open and don't mind when they go away. I can talk to people in specific settings, like a course or work, but can't turn this to social setting.
I pretended I was listening to conversations in groups, now I feel more comfortable not listening and just being there.

For me, being with NT (allistics) is worse.
But, it helps me.
So is taking anxiolytics: but without them, I wouldn't even leave the house.
So: about the TIA.
It seemed obvious to me, because I'll explain... besides writing a lot with a friend here on the forum, who had a serious problem, I like studying medicine.
*Usually, if something goes away, I just forget about it, because life is made up of days, many and different.
I honestly can't tell you if my intelligence has improved or simply changed.
Over the years, it undergoes a process I call: crystallization.

Of course, at 18 it was going very fast.
While now it's not like it used to be.

But at the same time, I've learned a lot.

I know what intelligence is; maybe we should open a thread, I think!

In fact, we autistic people (all of us, unless we have significant brain injuries) have 80% more neurons than non-autistic people.

There's scientific research to support this.

*It doesn't mean we're better, but that our brains are unique.

Problem solving: yesterday I had a bad fall on my bike.

It was early in the morning.

5:30 AM.

There was definitely a sort of mini-blackout that lasted a few moments.

Because I don't remember a small phase: I always use logic.

I fractured my eye socket.

Tomorrow, the maxillofacial surgeons will urgently see what to do.

The fact is, I kept my cool and knew what to do.

I carried my bike home, bleeding because I had a hemorrhage.
I messed up everything.
I got in, looked at myself in the mirror, stopped her, changed into a red shirt (on purpose), and asked for help so I could have someone nearby.
But I drove the car myself.
All the way to the hospital.
I parked where you don't pay.
I realized I wasn't very lucid, honestly.
But I was lucid for a few minutes.
The rest was a problem-solving experience.

Now as I write this, my whole body hurts.
I have a bandage covering my entire eye (swollen and with stitches).
I was there waiting for the emergency room.
It took me 9 hours, feeling terrible.
I had 2 CT scans.
Plus other visits.
I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.

In some things, we are problem-solving.
In others, we are not!
As written very well before me: we are getting better.
In some things, we will get better.
In others, we will never be able to.
I can't stand unplanned things.
Those that happen unpredictably.

*The mind: it depends on how we train it.
After the TIA, being ambidextrous, I train both sides of my body a lot.

Of course we change, indeed.
Over time.

§
Thanks for the thread and interactions