Hello, Here I Am. :) That's right. I admit it. I'm new.

Post Reply New Topic

I just changed psychiatrists recently, because I moved to attend graduate school. Well first, a note about psychiatrists in general. I had never seen one until about late November 2006. So by the time I moved to Texas (from North Carolina), I had been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, atypical OCD (I obsess plenty, but have less of the compulsions), cyclothymia and ADD.

Notice a trend here?

Well, my new psychiatrist did. He put two and two together, and that, coupled with my history and social experiences/problems, he made a tentative conclusion that it was highly probable that I had something along the lines of high functioning AS. Which brings us to now. We're currently delving into that idea; but in the meantime of a true dx, I'm doing my research.

It's actually really interesting. I've seen a lot of other people's posts about first being diagnosed and thinking, wow, that makes so much sense!! ! And I'm really having the same conclusion. I mean, there are so many aspects of AS that I completely can identify with. My mother always said that I was a very boring child and that I played the most mind numbing games. I used to play pick up sticks against myself (or against my teddy bears, whichever way you want to see it). I didn't actually play the game itself though; I merely passed out the sticks to the other "players" and spent hours upon hours adding up the scores that we got. And then I'd try to explain it to mom and she'd be like, "Uh huh, yeah. Okay." I was obsessed with my matchbox cars. I used to arrange them into families by color and have them interact with each other. I enjoyed playing with legos and k'nex. I could build anything out of either. I've never been physically coordinated. I'm constantly bumping into things, tripping over my own feet, running into doorknobs . . . I always tell people that I never can clear doorways. Once I was going through my grandmother's house and I didn't quite clear a couch with my knee. Split it right open.

And then there are people. I can't ever talk loud enough for people. I feel like if I raise my voice, I'm into the shouting range; even though, I guess, that's the normal speaking range of most people. I talk too fast, trip over my words and when I get nervous I either mumble, stutter or combine the two into a fun filled experience. I never had any friends my own age. All through my life, my friends have always been either younger or older. The people my own age didn't understand me; or they pretended like they did (but they didn't; you know that look). I always liked to read. My vocabulary was significantly beyond the range of the people I went to school with. They always accused me of being either stuck up or impossible to understand. "Speak in normal words!" I got told a lot. "I am!" I wanted to tell them. Heh.

Plus, conversations with other people never go very well. I have to consciously watch myself and limit myself to only saying a few things that I want to say. The rest of the time I just smile and nod. I go off on tangents that no one ever can follow. I make connections via pathways that no one ever goes by. I'm interested in things that no one else really cares about. Usually I get stuck on one idea within a larger topic. Some of the special interests of mine have been: Batman, Synaesthesia, The X-Files, Goosebumps (I know, I'm sorry), rocks (god I collected them for years), old pennies, sudoku, the location of every bathroom in every building I ever came in contact with, the French horn (still obsessed), musical instruments in general (with special attention paid to weird ones) . . . the list continues.

I can't easily tell how people are thinking. I analyze every movement to figure out if the reason they are looking at me like that is because maybe they're just thinking? Or they really do see something strange . . . I watch everyone all the time. I pick up on details that others miss. I see things about a room or a place that no one ever notices. I might trip over my feet, but at least I don't trip over the rock that's in the middle of the road. Hell, I noticed that 20 feet back!

I'm messy. I never can seem to see the same messes that other people see just as plain as day. I do badly with random and unforeseen changes in my schedule. One time a teacher in high school decided to reseat the entire class just for the hell of it. He stuck me in the back corner surrounded by people and with no clear exit. I rebelled by sitting on top of my desk for three days until he figured out that I wasn't kidding.

I can't learn about something unless I can visualize it or hold it in my hands. That's why upper level math was so horrid for me. Not only could I not discern a purpose for it, but I also couldn't see it or understand it.

I always overthink everything when talking to others. I can never just talk, unless I'm with a really good friend. And it's hard for me to make those. I did, however, make one really really good friend in undergrad (we ended up being roomies for 3 years). She knows more about me than I've ever told anyone in my life. I never had a best friend until college either. I had a good friend in the 4th grade, but then I moved. I had school close friends in 7th-12th, but we never did things together outside of school. There was a time that I wasn't even aware that people did stuff with each other outside of school until field trips occurred and they would sit together like bestest of buds and I'd end up either by myself, by someone who slept the entire time or sitting with the teacher. Again. Which I didn't entirely mind, but still you know . . .

I did okay in high school. It wasn't a fantastic academic performance (what with math and upper level science and all), but it was acceptable. Then, in college, I discovered music education (instrumental style), which I loved and excelled in. I graduated magna cum laude in the top 10% of my class. Then I took a year off and now I'm in grad school studying music therapy. I decided after student teaching that I couldn't handle being a public teacher (too many kids, too little time, too many strict disciplinary procedures). After all, it had always been the other kids that I got along the best with in school. Not the average ones . . .

I suppose I've rambled on long enough. Now to see if anyone actually reads this thing. *sits*

Welcome to WP from a fellow Texan !

Tim

Welcome to WP

Yes I did read all of it :L

There were things about...

-music therapy
-room-mate for three years
-Field trips
-The other kids
-Your french horn obsession and many others

Just thought I would give proof :L

More ammo...

MWUHAHAHAHAHA...

Welcome to WrongPlanet!