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gisgeek
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19 Nov 2007, 5:12 pm

I'm not very good at things like this, so forgive the rambling.

I'm Louise, I'm 30 years old and I work as an IT Sysrtems Tech for a local Council. I'm not sure what the American equivalent is - I'd guess like a County adminisration type thing. I started reading about AS cos my mum told me about it 2 years ago. She explained she'd been to the GP and explained some stuff and they'd wanted to refer her to Baron-Cohens centre in Cambridge, UK (I think it was his gang she was supposed to see), but she decided not to go cos she just didn't see the point in an official diagnosis.

The more I read, the more it makes complete sense to me and explains tonnes of stuff regarding the way she is with me and other people.

My reasons for being here are twofold. Firstly, I want to understand the way she sees the world, and help her with that. She's 55, divorced from a schizophrenic and lonely. I really hate to see her so unhappy, it makes me meh.

Secondly, and confusingly I would imagine from the last bit of the previous sentence, I'm here to try and work out myself, and how much of me is AS, or whether I learnt behaviours from my mum and it's nothing more than that. I have no doubt the way I see the world is weird. I'm _massively_ geeky, obsessive, people scared, loud noise sensitive, uncomfortable with affection, disappear into details, totally unscared of random stuff others are and terrified of things others think are nothing. I take people literally, find nothing funny everyone else does, never get damn jokes, dress in a uniform of t-shirt and jeans with small variations cos I don't know what else to wear, talk too fast and too quietly...

I'm _confused_. Me and the world seem to be existing on constant battle mode terms. I'm _too_ empathic but clueless. Too emotional but coldly detached in others. I have a boyfriend, I live with him, but am entirely unconvinced I know what love actually _means_.

Anyway, that paints a bleak picture. Mostly I'm a child, with a childs view of shiny! and easily awe inspired and I'd not change the way I am if you paid me, I'm just desperately trying to make sense of myself, my mum, my boyfriend and my interactions with all these things. They're not 'normal' but I'm mostly happy. It just took 30 years :O)


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richie
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19 Nov 2007, 5:25 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet!Image


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Anubis
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19 Nov 2007, 5:27 pm

Welcome.


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alei
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19 Nov 2007, 5:31 pm

Welcome to WP.

I honestly dont know what to tell you, except that I am also 30 and just recently found out that I have AS as well. You have come to the right place to learn I think. Lots of good people here.


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Tequila
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19 Nov 2007, 7:31 pm

Hi. Welcome to WP. :)

No sweat. It's good to figure yourself out. Whereabouts in Manchester are you based? :)



Inventor
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19 Nov 2007, 7:37 pm

Welcome gisgeek,

We kids have fun with it, not much choice, cry or party!



lau
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19 Nov 2007, 7:50 pm

gisgeek wrote:
... and my interactions with all these things. They're not 'normal' but I'm mostly happy. It just took 30 years :O)

Normal? But of course they are - welcome to the club where it's normal not to be.

"Lacking common sense since 1977" - nice sig.

Probably inaccurate, though...
Maybe it should say: "Having uncommon sense since 2005"


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wewalkamongyu
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19 Nov 2007, 7:58 pm

Welcome. I just found out about myself. Hoping we can all help each other make sense of things.



JerryHatake
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19 Nov 2007, 10:28 pm

Nice to meet you, Lousie. :)

I'm Jerry. :)


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gisgeek
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21 Nov 2007, 2:59 pm

Tequila> I'm out Blackburn way in Lancashire

I'm feeling very meh. I've just read the adult section on here. Currently, I'm mostly trying to work out how people deal with being touched - I cannot stand being touched unless I've instigated it, something my boyfriend really struggles to understand.

It's so nice to be somewhere where I can say stuff and not have people jumping on me, either telling me I'm perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong with me and I want to see 'real' people with AS and should consider myself lucky, or telling me I'm imagining things. I don't want people to cut me slack, I want friends to accept that I'm finding _massive_ amounts of comfort in the knowledge I'm not a complete freak.

People are _complicated_ :O)


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AnonymousAnonymous
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21 Nov 2007, 7:07 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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militarybrat
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21 Nov 2007, 11:20 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet.
Shiny things are nice.



blessedmom
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22 Nov 2007, 12:27 am

Hi, Louise. :)
I don't know if it helps, but I can relate 100% to the way you described yourself. I'm not diagnosed but have had it suggested by the counsellor at my boys' high school, the therapist my children and I see, the pediatrician the kids see and a few people on WP that I should see about having an assessment. I do have a dx of Inattentive ADHD but that doesn't explain the social anxiety (people shy), the obsessions that have been with me for years, the fact that I don't like to be touched unless I am prepared and I know the person very well or the strange fears and anxieties that I have had to overcome. I have sympathy for people but I don't have empathy in the true sense.
Women with AS seem to blend in better with the world than men, that is according to what I have read. Most girls with AS learn how to read social cues at an early age. Not well, and probably not enough to help us blend in completely but to a point that we are hard to diagnose. I am an excellent actress. I can play the parts that society demands of me for the short period of time that it is necessary. The rest of the time I stay at home because the demands of people are just too much. It is tiring. I have made my life the way I want it to be. It's been 39 years, but I have also found a comfortable, happy existence.

There are many helpful, supportive people here. I hope you find it as educating as I have.

Lauri


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Ana54
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22 Nov 2007, 1:23 am

Welcome to WP! I love your sig too. :D I noptice you like organizing trips; where do you go? :D I like traveling too!



Ana54
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22 Nov 2007, 1:23 am

Welcome to WP! I love your sig too. :D I noptice you like organizing trips; where do you go? :D I like traveling too!



lelia
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22 Nov 2007, 5:56 am

I love shiny! Hi!