Need a book for my in-laws to read on females with AS

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Hi Everyone!

I just joined today. I have undiagnosed aspergers with a 5 yr old daughter who has been formally diagnosed with high functioning autism. I also have a 2 yr old daughter who is neurotypical.

My dad has undiagnosed aspergers as well. He is in deep denail that there is anything worong with him. The feels the rest of the world is nuts.

My in-laws just tolerate me for the sake of being around and playing with their grandchildren and of course for the sake of their oldest son, my husband.

There really isn't any bond between my in-laws and myself. I know they do not like me since they try to ignore me as much as possible and they talk with me minimally when we are visiting.

I have to admit my moods have been erractic. I try not to get moody in front of them but they do feel the tension and they do hear bickerings between my husband and I in the background. I am very sensitive over the fact that they just put up with me. I am sure they see me as a bad person. I complain a lot to my husband about this.

Does anyone have a good book recommendation on females with aspergers that I can give to them. I have not told them that I have AS, but they know my 5 yr old daughter has it.

hello! I want to say hiya! I don't know of any books off-hand, but try the books section, here. i'm planing on getting some of the books on the list. and please don't think me weird or mean, but something you said offended me. You said

"My dad has undiagnosed aspergers as well. He is in deep denail that there is anything worong with him. The feels the rest of the world is nuts."
He has Undiagnosed Aspergers. He is like alot of people here, and you said "he is in deep denail that there us anything worong with him" There is NOTHING wrong with him. your dad has aspergers not cancer! I just wanted to say that by saying that you insinuated that People with aspergers have something wrong with them, and that really offended me. so...yeah!

Pretending to be normal - Lianne Holliday, Willey.

An undiagnosed woman with a diagnosed daughter writes of her experiences!

It is nicely written.

Ciao

Has anybody else been told that females don't get Asperger's. I was told that sometime last year and believe it shows that there is still a lot of ignorance within our society about this condition.

Also, I've been told of people being "in denial" about having Aspergers and similar conditions. Could it be that they realise, even subconciously, that society attaches a stigma to being different and if they admit to it, they could be discriminated against in their jobs and elsewhere.

Personally, I was very relieved to find I have Aspergers and have no problem with being "labelled" as such, but many other people think differently.

Really, a 5 year old daughter diagnosed with high functioning autism. Interesting, since there is no diagnosis of high functioning autism.
Is that what the diagnosing psychologist or whatever said?

Danlo, what do you mean? I was of the understanding that "High Functioning Autism" was a valid diagnostic category but would probably also equate to having Aspergers or PDD-NOS.

While High Functioning Autism doesn't exist as a medical diagnostic term, many professionals use it to distinguish an individual that has Autistic Disorder (Classical Autism) without mental retardation and not so severe deficits in self-help delays and speech issues. HFA was coined to simply state that not all those with Autistic Disorder are low-functioning and that there are many that are of normal intelligence and are able to function better than others. Professionals use whatever is most able to get the point across to parents. While it would be great if they'd standardize things, they also have to have it on a level parents can relate to.

And there is a book called "Women from Another Planet" by Jean Kearns Miller. It has several personal experiences of women in there... one of them was Patty Clark who was an incredible female autism advocate that just passed away recently and will be truly missed by the many that knew her.

You can find out a little more by going here -> http://www.womenfromanotherplanet.com/ Unfortunately the only thing that doesn't impress me about the book (haven't read it yet) is the inclusion of Judy Singer... she runs ASpar, a group that supports children of AS parents and also had on her website advice to NTs on how to take custody away from an AS parent and compared an NT living with an AS parent to having Battered Parent Syndrome...

Thank you Mish. I am always thankful for your explanations of things. It is always concise and easily understood. I will check out the book you suggested.

So, you think a book would help them. Yes, I understand your logic, but do you think they will actually look you in the eye and listen to what you have to say?

I also suggest Pretending to be Normal by Lianne Holliday Wiley (she also has a website called www.aspie.com).

I thought HFA was the same as Aspergers...? at least thats what my psychologist calls it "formally" when writing letters the schoool and stuff, but she also puts Aspergers, so maybe the thing about making it presentable was why they added that bit in.

Ditto on Women from Another Planet?. Mostly the books on female Aspergers are going to be the personal stories. Hopefully in coming years, that will begin to change.

Since I have the plan of going into Psych research, I intend on focusing a fair amount of energies on that in particular.

but are you a woman or a man, or neither?