New member - JohnyCanadianArmy

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Hi there everyone. First of all, I wanted my user name to be as self-descriptive as possible and I realize already that I have failed miserably because, in normal situations, I never use my job to describe myself. Beginner's fumble.

I don't know what to say so I'll describe myself a bit, what brings me here, etc. I'm a 23 years old man, born and raised in a French-Canadian family (from Québec, a province of Canada). Through my youth, I've had the privilege of living in a few different place, including Nanisivik, a small village in the Canadian Arctic. Living there for two years (age 10-12) blessed me with language skills that have served me well ever since, such as right now, writing this in English! My youth has been tough, not by lack of support from my siblings and parents but because of the simple fact that I have never fit in anywhere. I have exceeded in school (those subjects I could pay attention to) but socially, I've never "gotten it", even rudimentary things that most kids understand without being told, such as not wearing a white t-shirt with a picture of a dog on it to your first day of high school. (Note: Seemed fine to me, it was clean and fit me)

I started college at age 16 and completed a year of Natural Sciences. I did well in some of the classes but the lack of flexibility of most of my teachers made for very difficult times. Imagine knowing exactly how to get the answer to just about any question you come across during an exam... but losing a ton of points because you didn't use the "proper" method to get the answer, something I could never force myself to do as I learn by deduction, not repetition.

So I was frustrated with teachers (except philosophy, in which I was constantly praised for originality) and bored with classes, I was desperate to find something to do, something that would allow me to get away from it all and discover myself, so to speak. One day, I thought of the Army and it clicked. My parents had both served before my birth and had great advice for me and a ton of support. With that, and a ride to the recruitment center, I signed up for a career and I've been doing it ever since. The end.


... you wish, but I wanna write some more so, toughen up!


My basic training was rough, I was among the youngest (17) and due to my awkward social skills, I stood out and was never accepted. That almost cost me dearly when the instructors perceived it as a lack of motivation and team spirit, but I was determined to prove myself and got through it. After that, was sent to trade school which I found immensely boring, I slept through all the classes then would be woken up for exams, which I aced and finished ahead of everyone else (something that was to repeat itself in almost every single course of my career). After this amazingly interesting (zzzzzzzz...) course was over, I was posted to my first base: Kingston, Ontario!

I've been busy in the last years, learning the ins and outs, proving myself and my abilities and it has paid out, to a certain point. Of course, I've never been able to advance as quickly as most people told me I deserved. I only have myself to blame for that, in a way, as I tend to act very anti-socially at work whenever put into a social situation where I have nothing to say (small talk) and when nothing is asked of me. Ask me anything about work and I will unload an encyclopedic amount of information onto you but comment on the weather and I will stare at you, dumbfounded.

Anyway, last year, I was deployed to Afghanistan in a fairly prestigious position (for my rank) and I did very well, receiving a great performance report when it was time to pack up and go home. Upon return, I hit a huge down from which I have yet to recover. You see, during my entire career up to that point, I had been challenged to perform and overcome obstacles by being put into difficult positions and in charge of complicated tasks. When I got home from Afghanistan, I was given two months of incredibly boring leave (it was winter time, I'm a summertime kinda guy, so I had nothing to do). Then, back to work I go! But the section to which I was assigned did not suit me at all, after all these challenges, rewarding but demanding work, I was sat down in an office, working behind a desk day-in, day-out, and not very busy at that. Considering my personality and drive for action, this did not please me at all but it's part of the job so I did my best. However, the monotony got to me and I would find it incredibly difficult to work because of the lack of action, etc. I decided, for the first time in my career, to get mental health help, thinking I suffered from ADD (there's a whole, life-long story behind that one, don't get me started). Anyway, I visited the base psychiatrist who essentially sat me down, listened to everything I said until the part about difficult paying attention at school and in courses, which to me was indicative of ADD. From there, he decided that because I was showing "difficulties" in academia, I required a series of IQ tests. I was angry but went along with it, curious how I would fare. Not surprising, after a long wait, the results came back that I was highly-intelligent but I was lacking a tiny bit in one area (non-verbal) compared to the rest, which the psychologist determined meant that I suffered from a learning disability. That was the last straw for me, I ceased to consult this man and never wish to see him again. It might sound harsh but I don't want to go into too much detail, it's another long story, I'm trying to be brief here.

Fast forward a bit, after being home six months, I was required, as is everyone, to visit a social worker for a normal post-deployment checkup. I was to fill a questionnaire regarding stress, emotions, personal relationships and such subjects which could be in peril after being in a war-zone. Due to my unchallenging and frustrating position, a lot of my answers indicated that I was depressive and possibly suicidal, to a certain point. Those points were brought forward during the interview with the social worker, at which time I explained myself and my delicate situation (career vs being happy). I talked about myself, what makes me happy, how I function, the type of relationships I have with others, etc and the social worker seemed fascinated with me. She told me how I sounded exactly like a former patient of hers who had been diagnosed with Asperger's after consulting the very same doctor that I had, without success. In his case, a similar "disability" had been blamed for his weird behavior before he was able to seek and receive counseling outside the army.

Anyway, this started a professional relationship with the social worker which, slowly, has lead me to learn a lot about different mental disorders which corresponded with my life-long issues, socially and otherwise. I read a comprehensive book about ADD which convinced me that although I do display some of the symptoms, it doesn't really describe me accurately. I then decided to look into Asperger's as recommended by the social worker and found in the subject a very accurate description of me, how I feel and see the world. To discover exactly why I had had such a sad life was a blessing but I still wanted to get a formal diagnostics so I could confirm, or refute, what me and the social worker had figured out through many hours of talk and testing.

So this is where I stand right now, waiting for a referral to get tested by a specialist for Asperger's or whatever I may have. It's a long wait but I know that it will be worth it if it leads me to understand who I am and what I can do to live a fuller, happier life.


The REAL end.


P.S. I didn't spend that much time writing this, thankfully, as I'm a quick typist. Sometimes, it pays to be a nerd!

Last edited by JohnyCanadianArmy on 12 Aug 2009, 7:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome home, Johny!

Hi JohnyCanadianArmy (Lab Pet is shy) - I think you'll like Wrong Planet. I'm an Alaskan so good to have another Northerner here.

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

"Hi," fellow-traveler JohnyCanadianArmy, and welcome to the Wrong Planet community.

i believe the resident scandinavians would be the only european ones as far north as alaska and canada. the gulf stream colors our land green so, we arent necesarily immediately recognized as... artctic

you should see us in winter tho.
i can calmly spend 10 minutes in -10C in a t-shirt to finish my cig. piece a cake

To WrongPlanet!! !

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone, looks like everyone is so friendly here... good!

Welcome to WP, Johnny. And thank you for the time and dedication you've put forth in our army. I have a lot of respect for people who are in service.

Welcome to WP

Welcome to WP from a fellow Canadian.

Thats exactly what I was going to say eh........ =>

Welcome. I hope you'll feel at home here.