Question from NT parent: do you make friends? Go on dates?

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I am trying to understand more about AS. Its many characteristics.
This is the one thing my son seems to have no apparent problem with. I am not talking about best friends, but school friends from now and past years.

He is like me in the sense we can walk together into a coffee shop and in 15 minutes we are both chatting with someone. I've always been that way, and he is a lot like that too. He is great when talking to adults. I am always happy when he joins a conversation because I know he will be an interesting participant.

He also dates (has always had a girlfriend) and spends hours on the phone with them.

Outside of that he is the definition of aspie, y'all. So I was wondering how many of you (as TEENS) actually have (or had) an active social life. How about dating? Were your friendships really meaningful?

I hope I am not asking too much , I appreciate any info you can give me.

Personally I have a few really close friends and yes I have dated.

If you want a further oppinion lets see what emily has to say near the end of the video:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwfDq1UEWv0[/youtube]

I can't have a social life. And I can't date either.

Personally, I'm a sort of low-functioning aspie, so I haven't had much of a social life at all, and the relationships I did have while I was in school didn't last.

In high school I had uhh. I dunno, two relationships (but between the two of them they lasted about 3 years). both were really negative though, and could have used parental intervention to stop, I personally had no way of knowing or judging them to be hurtful towards myself.

In hs I had probably about... six or seven *okay* friends, upon exiting HS all but one was dropped and that person is now my best friend. and from the looks of it it seems like we will be best friends for many many years.

I would say I had a sub (NT) standard social life, but overall pretty REASONABLY satisfying. (reasonable in that I would have liked a lot more, but considering my capabilities I found it rather fulfilling.)

As a teen, one date I did awkwardly and thereafter no one dated me again.
Then in college I met my husband I have been married happily to for 35 years.

My only social life was the youth group at church.

More of that mixed bag thing,

Pure Aspie, yet never had a problem with eye contact, small talk, or some other defining trait.

Some have it bad, change situations, suddenly notice they change.

AS is beyond being defined, but it can be a lot of fun.

I had no social life, a loner, but I always had a date. Girls liked that.

All the fast moving high flyers peaked early, I just plodded along.

They beat me to the goal, they died twenty years ago. I am just getting good.

I would not trade places with anyone.

I've only dated once, and it lasted only a week because I wasn't sure at all what to do. I do have friends, but I tend to keep one or two very close friends and not really make a strong bond with others. Most of the time I'm alone or doing something solitary. I'm not at all good with small talk, I can't just talk about anything, though I do really well when I have the chance to pour into someone else or teach something. I'm an excellent listener, so even in a circle of people if I'm not talking, I'm intently listening.

I have a few close friends, but I'm far from a socialite. I once went through a bit of a relationship drama thing (never really a relationship though).
Every aspie is different.

I don't have much of a social life most of the time.

No on both questions. I'm only interested in sex.

In my teens I had a few good friends, but no dates. After teen years, I spent a lot of time beating myself up over the fact that I don't seem to be able to form romantic relationships until I realized what a waste of time it is to beat myself up over something that I'm not comfortable with anyway and that is more of a societal expectation. I've had a couple of very brief and thoroughly unrewarding romantic trysts, (that did get intimate), but nothing lasting. Things haven't changed much. I still have a few good friends and no dating, romance, sex life, etc. I'm fine with it now. As far back as high school I learned how to be my own best company and I'm still that way.

I had a few friends in my late teens, have one good friend (good, but not close) now, and a few superficial friends. I have only ever been in one relationship, but it was a serious one and lasted over 5 yrs. Been single for a couple of years and expect to remain so for the rest of my life.

Thank you for all the info, y'all. I really appreciate it.

Do you want to know something funny, coming from an NT? Well, I always had friends growing up (I grew up downtown Madrid, big city and tons of people) but I just had a handfull of good friends. Everyone else were just people in class. As I got older, the amount of good friends diminished and now at 42 yeras old, my best friend is really my husband. I have light friends but I don't socialize at all, to be honest with you, mainly because I don't care to. Most people I meet are really not that interesting and I don't need to have friends to validate myself as a nice/outgoing/fun (or whatever) person.

In all, my aspie son probably have as many friends as I did growing up and he enjoys his solitude as well, so this is one topic that I am comfortable with. As I said before I am totally learning about all this, and need as much help as I can get.

I had a ton of friends in high school and was never hurting for dates either. However, this was due to other people seeking me out. I spent hours on the phone every week but I rarely ever placed any phone calls--my friends called me.

But I don't actually know how to make friends. In college I didn't make any new friends at all (outside the internet--and even on the internet I feel like there is something weird about me... I don't know how to keep up with my friends and I don't have the stamina to talk to them frequently). In retrospect I can see that a number of people in my classes were attempting to get close to me and be friends or even ask me out, but at the time I just thought they were being strange and I essentially pushed them away. It was much easier for me to make connections over the net, so I didn't want to bother with the hassle of doing that face-to-face, even though I missed having a lot of people close by. I think another big reason I had so many friends in high school vs. college is because when kids and teens want to be friends, they are persistent about chasing the person they want to be friends with. Other people's exuberance made up for my lack of social skills, to the point where I didn't even realize my deficits were still present. In college (especially if you don't live on campus or near others from your school) other students are more likely to just let you go if you don't seem receptive to their subtle efforts.

I could and can make friends. But I have a problem of growing a friendship outside of the place I know them from.

School, I would hang out with people talk and such... but I didn't get invited to parties or go and do things outside of school. Well I did but it was rare...

Some thing at work, I would understand and relate to my coworkers... make jokes and laugh... but I didn't do anything with them outside of work.

It just doesn't come up, and I'm not comfortable imposing myself on others like that. Even though it's not really imposing if they enjoy my company... it's hard to know what barriers are there... so I just build up large barriers and never break them down.

I'm kind of a strange NT/AS hybrid. I'm social and aware enough to interact and at least not offend anyone... but something about me is off and strange. This strangeness can be either interesting or annoying... I'm finding ways to make it interesting. I try to emphasize it more for comedic effect, so people don't know if I'm just being strange for a joke or if that's the way I really am. It's both really...

I don't think those with AS are always introverted... many try to go out and talk with others... they just get enough negative reinforcement to turn them sour of socializing.

I'm much more social than I thought I was, I just developed social anxiety that kept me away. Especially around women...