From lurker to poster

Post Reply New Topic

I've been lurking for a while, but never posted.

I'm not sure if I have Asperger's. I only recently have considered the possibility that I might. For as long as I can remember, I've had problems forming relationships with people due to a lack of social skills, and sometimes a lack of interest.

Right now I can honestly say I have no friends. Zero. I haven't had a real friend in a long time. I don't date either. I never have. And I'm in my early 20s. It's not supposed to be that hard, is it? I'd like to make more friends and date, and I'm working on that, but I think it can't hurt to be able to talk about it to people who "get it" online. I'm female, which is rare for Aspergers right?

I've read that people with Aspergers don't want other people around. That's not true of me. I'd like to have people around, but I don't want to have to change who I am so that people don't label me a weirdo or a loser. I also like to have at least a part of every day to myself, completely alone. I think it is possible for me to learn to improve my social skills. I already have somewhat, but it's difficult and I tend to backslide a lot.

I plan to post in the forums, but if you'd like to talk to me on MSN messenger, I can always use more friends.

Nice to meet you, kitschinator.

Welcome, kitschinator!
I felt the same way in my early 20's, now I'm 27 and still feel that way, except I've made a few friends through work. I find that common interests brings people together, and if you're working with the same people for a while it's easier to get to know them. But of course this is hard if you're in college or still looking for a good job.
There's quite a few Aspie women on this site, which you've probably noticed by now.

Welcome Kitschinator,

So, you pick some people like yourself, Try Wrong Planet, where they are kept at a safe distance.

We do have social skills, here, but not in the world. Which is much better than the new and unsued social skills we had but never used.

Here our social skills have training wheels.

It is all practice, pratice, pratice, and the world never gave us a try. Here we do develop the same skills, but with much deeper insight, and those skills do play in the world, where early learners got it, and quickly, but are stuck with a Third Grade level of social skills.

We can not only learn the game, we can lead it.

Lack of interest comes from the simple fact that most people are not worth knowing.

For us it starts with one, Self. That one is worth knowing. So a lot of the social around here is directed to the self in others,

What do you write, play, draw, paint, read, build, what makes you happy.


There is no such thing as AS. We are no two alike. We do share something, but we are not the same.

You come here as an New Universe, a singular creation, the only one, and I take time to admire it.

The communication problems we have with the world do not exist between us.

Welcome to the playground, welcome to your planet.

Hi kitschinator. Welcome to WP. Hope you like it here.

Whereabouts are you from? I'm on MSN if you'd like to chat.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi Kitschinator welcome to WP.

I think it is possible for someone to improve their social skills, it does take a lot of effort though. I think mine have improved a smidge.

Also I think in actuality AS people WANT to have people around them but don't know how to communicate it.

There are some, like me, who would rather be alone all the time.

I don't think that all the criteria fits every Aspie.

Hang around here, you'll learn a lot.

That's more the norm for Aspies. People don't see us trying to hang out ALL the time, so we must be anti-social. I have a few friends who accept my differences and understand alternative thinking.

Also, the DSM was written with children in mind, not adults with coping habits. If you're going by the DSM-IV you have to think back to childhood experiences to figure out how closely you fit the symptoms.

Welcome to the world of like minds. We would take over the world, but it would mean making eye contact. Oh, well...

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

hi,

i like your name. do you like kitsch?

always nice to see more women join WP. i hope you like it here.

I'm from the U.S. I'm going to guess you're British from the enormous Union Jack avatar. I added you on MSN. I'm pretty busy during the week so don't get offended if you don't spot me right away.



I do enjoy kitsch on many levels. I heard someone say "kitschinating" once to refer to making kitsch knockoffs of anything. It's a good word that's not really a word.

Everyone else: Thanks for saying hi!

I'm from the U.S. I'm going to guess you're British from the enormous Union Jack avatar. I added you on MSN. I'm pretty busy during the week so don't get offended if you don't spot me right away.

Not quite - try paul dot brookfield at tiscali dot co dot uk.

nice to meet ya

Hello kitschinator,

welcome to WP.

You ask if dating is ment to be hard...well honestly, I haven't dated either, so I don't have a clue. I am still young, so my experience in the dating department is rather non existant.

There are plenty of females with aspergers here...I am one of them . It seems there are more than what doctors write in their journals, although is still more common in males.

The people who label you weird and a loser are not worth your time, do not waste your energy trying to get to know them. There are nice people out there in the world who will accept you, sometimes it's just hard to find them.

I hope you enjoy posting here...I am sure that you'll make friends here.

hi kitschinator,

Welcome to posting (I can't say welcome to WP since you admit to lurking a while)

I'd have thought it was rare for females to be aspies but there seems to be more females than males on this board - perhaps I'm mistaken.

I've also met more female diagnosed adult aspies than males. So possibly males stay undiagnosed.. dunno.

The comment about not wanting friends is usually used in conjunction with children, not adults. The vast majority of people on WP seem interested in making friends.

Welcome to WP!

Tim