Greetings

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I'm so relieved I found this place... after reading posts by other people, I realize I'm not so weird after all

My hobbies are computers, computers, and more computers I've loved them all my life, I've been programming since I was 12, and now I have a job
(luckily over the internet so I don't have to interact with people so much) doing just that.

I'm going through a pretty tough time in my life right now...

For a while I was living with a friend (amazing I have one) in a small apartment near downtown toronto.
We made the incredibly stupid mistake of letting someone we just met move in with us for a while, because he got evicted
from his place and it was either allow him to move in and deal with whatever trouble that brings, or risk becoming enemies with
someone who was friends with everyone in the neighbourhood... we didn't really have a good excuse to say no either.

This guy also happened to be a big drug dealer... crack, ecstacy, weed, etc. It's not easy for me to stay away from drugs, they do
so much to help my anxiety when I'm around people (I didn't touch crack of course)... I started doing way too much, I was high
on ecstacy almost every day... and was pissing what little money I had away on it (granted it was cheap, I got it at cost )

This guy brought so much trouble into our place... we had people over 24/7.

Things just got worse though... my social problems were really getting in the way, the people I was living with started turning against me.

This drug dealer guy was always losing money and drugs, and started blaming it on me. half the time he would end up finding it later,
but the blame never stopped.

Then everyone plotted against me to get me to move out...

At first he wanted me to leave because I didn't have a job and I wasn't paying my share of the bills.. so I ended up getting on welfare since finding
a job around there was very hard, that was no longer a problem.. I paid the phone bill and even went out and bought a bunch of groceries for everyone.

Then about a week later he gives me some story about how the landlord gave him a warning about noise complaints (we were a routy bunch),
and needed me to leave for a while until things cool down.. this made no sense, because the drug dealer guy was still living there.. he was the one
always bringing all the people over... but his story was that he'd be leaving soon too (he did, but not by choice).

So I just said f**k it, I'll leave if noone wants me around.. and take all my stuff.
(by the way, almost everything in the apartment belonged to me, even the god damn bed he slept on).

I couldn't bring my stuff home right away, so I can't back about a week later. And when I did, there were 5 friggen people sleeping over there!
this doesn't look like someone who was concerned about what the landlord though.

I guess his plan kinda backfired though.. the drug dealer got into some fight with someone in the neighbourhood... he went running out of the house
with a shotgun he borrowed from someone and I guess someone saw it happen because the police came and shutdown the neighbourhood to do
a search (t was in the news too). He didn't get caught right away, but about a week later he got busted..
they raided our apartment and found spent shotgun shells, they held him in jail for a while.

So this guy I originally moved in with ending up being stuck living on his own, in an almost empty apartment (I left him the bed, I'm too nice),
with nothing to do. Serves him right! he moved out back home now.

He's my only friend though, and it's so hard for me to make new ones... now I'm stuck making a decision about whether I should still be this a**hole's
friend, or sit home alone all the time doing nothing... god life sucks.

Hello Jason,

First of all welcome. This greeting will be short, because I need to leave for an appointment. It sounds like you really need to give yourself time to unwind from the situation. As far as the situation with your friend is concerned, if you feel that he mistreated/abused you, maybe he isn't really your friend. And as far as that guy moving into your apartment, you don't need an excuse to say no to someone moving into your home. It sounds like you're feeling very lonely right now, wnd I wish that I knew how to help more than just writing this. I've experienced situations similar to that which you describe, and I've seen my 24 year old son go through the same a number of times. It is ironic to me that those of us on this spectrum are considered to have little empathy, so why do we often seem to get into so much trouble trying to help others out? Over and over again I've seen my son Jonah taken advantage of by unscrupulous or just plain thoughtless people, because he is so good natured and willing to do just about anything to help others out. I've seen him get hurt over and over, but still he is willing to forgive. When you're really lonely it is hard to walk away from a "friendship" even when the friend may hurt or exploit you. Best wishes to you. Please private message me if you need an ear.

I was in the drug scene for a while too. Smoking weed made me feel much more at ease, and being around people who were high made my problems less noticable to them. But once I decided to actually try and make something of myself, instead of wallowing in self-pity, I gave up smoking weed all together.