Not quite sure....

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Hi,

I'm new here. And, with reasons ofcourse..
But let me introduce myself a bit first for those interested.


I'm a software developer for a small company in The Netherlands.
And really enjoying my current job. I do some system/network-administration and
mainly software development. This has been my favorite timeburner since I was
about 6 or 7 years old. (I started quite early on a Commodore 64 computer ,
I almost never went out to play with friends. The world outside, with some exceptions,
never really got me interested). Almost never experienced any difficulties finding a job
and enjoyed most of them.

But this is not the only computer-related interest. Photography, building websites, DTP,
learning about music, space and technology related, etc. are among the big interests.

On the other hand, I never had good social skills and have trouble talking to people I don't know.
I do not have a lot of friends either, I'm single and have, seemingly, little interest in people in general.
I moved a lot of times during my life, most of these times experienced during my youth. Had to leave a
couple of schools, friendships faded and never really got recognized in any class.

I like living/working at night and sleeping at day, although it is next to impossible to get this realised
due to the way the world works, pitty, but have to accept
The reason is the total silence, almost no distractions at all. Nothing to get me of my concentration,
which I lose quite fast. I have to maintain a checklist with todo's, but even fail at that.

I also hate (almost to fear) to pick up the phone. Especially if the nr is unknown to me.
Calling people also has a boundary, even known people. Although this has a slightly lower boundary.
Email or a SMS is no problem at all. It gives me a bit more time to construct a proper response I think,
although I fail sometimes. This results in, f.i., a reply from me which sounded too emotionless to the other
person, too cold or too hard. (I've a really hard time talking or writing about or with emotions.)

I'm becoming 30 in a couple of months and since a couple of years I'm trying to figure out
whats wrong with me. I never got diagnosed with Asperge or something. I do have been
tested twice with a "slightly" higher iq about 10 years ago and when I was about 11 years old.
And on another occasion I got explained I was an introvert kind of person.

I never thought there was something 'wrong' or different with me until my g/f broke up with me
in the beginning of 2005. After this things got worse. Got into financial troubles, this particular job
at that moment was frustrating me (simply said; had to do work I was not even remotely qualified for),
losing friends and getting a little isolated. And even losing more self-confidence and the will or ability
to connect with people on social levels.

I know this is not right thing for a human being, so I want to find out what the problem is.
If I said I was a lazy person, it may seem so for most people, but I know not everything is explained
by this (procrastination is more like it, but I can't refer to it since I'm not diagnosed)
I do a lot of charity work, f.i., I develop and keep the website running for our local baseballclub.
I assist people with technical problems a lot of the times; reinstalling or fixing their PC's or any other
computer-related problem, advise them what hard and software to buy.
But I can't assist them if they have emotional problems, like a broken relationship or a death.
I just can't find the proper way to respond to it, it doesn't touch me the same way.
So I try to keep my answers down and hope I don't say anything rude. (rude, which
I almost always discover after I said it)


I've had a look around on this forum, and seems like this is the right place to sign up to
try to talk about it. I have no idea where to start really. First thing on my mind is to call
the doctor tomorrow.

So... a 'little' about me..
Hope I can learn something here in my quest
( and hoping you didn't waste too much time reading this )

Welcome to WP!

Yes, you do sounds like you might be an aspie. I would continue doing on-line research here and elsewhere...there are many bloggs by aspie/auties.

Getting a DX...no rush unless you are currently having financial of daily living skills issues. There is no "cure" as neurological wiring is not a disease but there are some professions experienced in DXing adults(not many and can take a long time to get an appointment. I have been DXed by a psychiatrist but would like to see a neurospecialist at some point.

I didn't find it helpful to talk to my GP about this issue as she was a very poorly informed person who discounted the possibility with little more information about me then my temperature and blood-pressure. You can ask your GP for a refer to a spcialist but you might want to bring in a list of canidates yourself to make sure hey ARE trained in DXing adults(most specialize in children...different ball game).

Welcome

I assume DX is diagnose?


Yeah, thats the first thing I'm gonna do tomorrow morning.
I delayed it already by a couple of years, been planning to go to a doc for ages.
I already contacted them, but you can only make an appointment in the morning.

I have to go this way, because I need the refer for the medical insurance
But you're probably right to look for adult aspie experts. I'll just wait and see what
the doc will suggest.

Thanks for the info!

Hi Cub-x. Good luck with the DX. I agree with krex about the GP - When I was in my early teens I asked mine why I was always counting and making geometric shapes in my mind and he said "You are just using spare capacity". Perhaps things have moved on a bit since then, it was thirty years ago.

I can relate to the death thing. I hate weddings and funerals and find both funny. A crowd of people with sad faces gives me the urge to grin and laugh - which doesn't tend to go down very well.

Nice to meet you, Cub-X.

To WrongPlanet!! !

hehe,
everybody thanks for the welcome!

Welcome Cub -X!

Welcome to WP!

Helen