Hi all

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Joined: 3 Apr 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 5

04 Apr 2008, 9:31 am

I'm an almost 19 year old male living in NYC, and I've just recently heard about Aspergers for the first time in a magazine.

I did some research on it, and found that I'm almost a textbook example of an AS patient, right down to the details, like: "AS is also associated with high levels of alexithymia, which is difficulty in identifying and describing one's emotions." In the 7 or so years I went to my psychologist, on each visit the first words out of his mouth were always "How are you feeling?" and the first words out of mine were always "I don't know."

It's almost mind boggling to think, but I never noticed that until now.
There was even one time when upon answering "I don't know", he must have become agitated (from me never giving a straight answer?), so he pulled out a large cardboard poster that you use for small children, depicting many animated faces with a word like "Happy" or "Sad" written beneath each one. He asked "Which of these best describes how you feel right now?" I looked at it, looked at each face... looked at each face again... and then answered "I still don't know."

It also explains a lot more about me that I never noticed, understood, or thought about before; for example, when I was younger I would permutate the numbers 3, 2, and 1 (as in, count the combinations, for example 123, 132, 213, 231, etc.) while tapping my hands on my knees (left hand on left knee = 1, both hands at once = 2, right hand on right knee = 3)
and god forbid that I ever made a counting mistake, or thought that I may have possibly made a mistake... because I'd be sitting there doing it over for a few good hours to "fix" the it
I'd do it for no apparent reason, and I can't remember if there was a 'trigger' or not.

to mention a few more criterium that I meet:
-I don't make eye contact, except when I force it, like during a handshake
-"Long winded, one-sided conversations in which the other party is uninterested" I noticed that I did this at a younger age in school, and that my classmates would just leave, or ignore me. So what I did instead was never speak except when spoken to first. I'm still like this. I don't know how well it worked out for me, except that I changed my classification from "the weird nerd", to "the quiet kid".

Anyway, I guess I'm just posting here to ask if it looks to you guys/gals like I have AS (and also because I don't have any friends to ask; which as I understand it, is itself a "symptom" of AS)

I also wanted to ask if it's common to never be diagnosed for this, or to be diagnosed at an older age - but I noticed just from reading this board that there are multiple other people of various ages self-diagnosing, so I suppose it would be safe to assume.

foxman
Velociraptor

Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 425

04 Apr 2008, 10:56 am

Hello!

I'm 22, and I just got dx's last year.

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jenidallas
Emu Egg
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Joined: 1 Apr 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 7
Location: Fort Worth, TX

04 Apr 2008, 11:34 am

Welcome!

Permutation... I can remember doing that as a kid, only grinding my teeth instead of tapping. A few years ago, it was anagramming letters (Scrabble style). Lately I've been dreaming in Sudoku squares which is causing me quite a bit of insomnia - to the degree of throwing pillows and blankets around the room.

SilverProteus
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04 Apr 2008, 11:37 am

Welcome Beoulve!

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oblio
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04 Apr 2008, 12:05 pm

Beoulve wrote:

"AS is also associated with high levels of alexithymia, which is difficulty in identifying and describing one's emotions."

the concept of alexithymia is what first set me on a course towards recent self-identification and finally official dx couple of weeks ago

i never [read rarely] now 'how' i feel,
although i can be aware of certain feelings in terms of their physical appearance (i do know that particular pit in the stomach is presumably what most call fear)

you said:
So what I did instead was never speak except when spoken to first.
I'm still like this.

yup, except on first meeting - i can manage the first steps of social chat,
i can at first impression appear quite outgoing, attentive & even charming
- but i shall retreat asap

you said:
(and also because I don't have any friends to ask; )

yup

you:
I also wanted to ask if it's common to never be diagnosed for this, or to be diagnosed at an older age - but I noticed just from reading this board that there are multiple other people of various ages self-diagnosing, so I suppose it would be safe to assume.

me: yup, yup, yep

by the way: any relation to beowulf? elaborate?

welcome & enjoy

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JerryHatake
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04 Apr 2008, 1:55 pm

Nice to meet you, Beoulve.

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richie
Supporting Member