Mom of 19 year old Aspie new to WrongPlanet

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MOA
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: North Carolina, USA

30 Nov 2008, 5:57 pm

JetLag wrote:

Wrong Planet greetings and Hellos, MOA. All the WP best to you, Matt, and your husband.

Thank you so much! I feel very much at home here. I like the online format. It fits our lifestyle quite well.

_________________
How glorious it is ? and also how painful ? to be an exception. --Alfred De Musset

Last edited by MOA on 30 Nov 2008, 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MOA
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: North Carolina, USA

30 Nov 2008, 6:00 pm

skywatcher wrote:

Hello, I hope that you get the answers you seek, and that you're son finds his way onto these forums as well. In the mean time, welcome!

I appreciate the welcome and encouragement. Already, I am feeling more "in touch" with the AS world.

_________________
How glorious it is ? and also how painful ? to be an exception. --Alfred De Musset

Last edited by MOA on 30 Nov 2008, 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dollypony
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Joined: 21 Sep 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,314
Location: North Carolina

30 Nov 2008, 6:42 pm

MOA wrote:

Dollypony wrote:

Welcome fellow North Carolinian to WP!:D

Thanks a bunch! It's a small "planet," huh? We're not too far from Raleigh. I'm finding some fairly good resources in the county so far, but I like the online approach for "talking." In fact, I just got my second master's degree and did the whole thing online so I could be at home with my son more. It was sooo convenient and a quality program, too.

I live near Charlotte...I find the internet a great resourse for info on Asperger's and good for "talking" to people.

MOA
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: North Carolina, USA

30 Nov 2008, 7:24 pm

Dollypony wrote:

MOA wrote:

Dollypony wrote:

Welcome fellow North Carolinian to WP!:D

I live near Charlotte...I find the internet a great resourse for info on Asperger's and good for "talking" to people.

My son's family is from the Charlotte area. It's grown so much I'm thinking you have a number of resources closeby. Originally we went to TEACCH when Matt was smaller, but now there is a satellite closer by. Isn't there one in Charlotte, too? They tried hard to help Matt's teacher's understand that he wasn't "just being difficult." I cannot count the number of times he was sent to the office and/or was suspended. Sometimes I was in agreement, if it was something that a NT student would receive the same consequence for, but often it was not. As a teacher myself, that bothered me. Now that I have AS students in my classes (at a different school) and teachers have been better trained, I am glad to see discipline more equitable for both "kinds" of kids.

_________________
How glorious it is ? and also how painful ? to be an exception. --Alfred De Musset

Nan
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Joined: 1 Mar 2006
Age: 68
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Posts: 3,795

30 Nov 2008, 11:55 pm

Welcome, MOA. I've got a 21 year old Aspie daughter, and she's just a lovely person. Hope you are enjoying your boy.

gbollard
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Joined: 5 Oct 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,009
Location: Sydney, Australia

01 Dec 2008, 12:04 am

Welcome Moa,

What is your son's special interest? That's generally the key to aspie employment.

Mine was computers and I've never been out of work since I got into the industry about 19 years ago.

Generally, Aspergers alone won't keep you out of the workforce - what other conditions does your son have - or if he has no other conditions, how does his aspergers manifest? What causes him to have difficulty working?

_________________
Gavin.
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/

Puppet
Deinonychus

Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 317

01 Dec 2008, 11:30 am

Welcome!

_________________
Your average sock puppet riddled with ceiling gnomes.

glider18
Supporting Member

Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: USA

01 Dec 2008, 11:41 am

Hi MOA and welcome to the wrongplanet. It's great that you are doing this kind of research for your son. What you seem to be wanting here is support from adult aspies (based on our experiences) and help for your son as he has transgressed into adulthood. And I think you have found so far that all of us are willing to help. Let me briefly tell you about myself. I am 44 years old (my picture was taken a few years ago---well, make that quite a few years ago) and I have Asperger's which was diagnosed when I was an adult. I also have some OCD issues. I am in my 21st year of being a public high school teacher. The first 19 years were spent teaching sophomore and senior English, and now for the past two years I am serving as the gifted instructor at our school. I have also taught college English (composition) at a local university. My struggles have centered primarily around awkwardness in socializing and a multitude of narrow interests that occupies much of my time. I have been married to the same woman for 19 years, and we have two sons ages 7 and 12. Though we are happily married, I want to be better for my wife as she has had to struggle with me through the years so I am getting ready to undergo some "coaching" sessions from a qualified Asperger's expert. I also want to be a better father as I find it awkward to do the typical "fatherly" things with my sons. I find it hard to share in their interests and that saddens me deeply. I am hoping this expert can help me. As for having Asperger's, I cannot imagine living without it. In fact, it would scare me to be cured of it. I love my interests. But at the same time, I want to be better for my family.

But I am rambling about myself, but it may give insight into adulthood for your son. I am happy, and I am confident your son will be happy in life too. The main thing that has driven me through life has been my interests. What is your son interested in? By teaching English, I was able to channel my interests into that profession, though the move to gifted instruction has been a great move for me and my school. If your son can find an occupational path where he can exercise his interests, I believe he can be successful. Ultimately it would be great if he would join the WrongPlanet too. If you could look into a magic crystal ball and look into his future, I bet you will be happy with him. The support you are offering to him will go far in his life. All of us that are talking to you now are obviously barely skimming the surface of your needs for him. But if we continue to communicate and get to know your son better, I think you will find the support you need. Please, keep communicating with us.

militarybrat
Deinonychus

Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 348

01 Dec 2008, 2:19 pm

Hi, welcome to wrong planet. I'm a 23 year old aspie whose mom works in an autism support classroom with the IU. I think you'll find that we are as varied in experience and personality as Neuro-typicals are. We just relate closer to eachother than to NTs, at least I think so. This is a good place to come to for information, disscution and just interacting with those in the autism community. Hopefully you find what your looking for and feel free to have your son join to if he wants.
p.s sorry about the spelling I'm at the library and can't find the spell check.

MOA
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: North Carolina, USA

14 Dec 2008, 12:01 pm

gbollard wrote:

Thanks for the welcome! Sorry for the long gap for my response. Actually my son has been in the hospital for almost two weeks, so I have been away from the computer so I could visit him regularly.

He does have special interests in reading and creative writing. When he is focused and has the motivation he writes beautifully. He also edits other people's written work, though doing so for his own is not one of his strengths. He prefers to watch or read fantasy or science fiction and then act out scenes in them. He is quite obsessive about this. (His first obsession was dinosaurs and for a time he believed he was a dinosaur during his preschool years.)

While in the hospital he was diagnosed with schizophrenia which his father and I have suspected was happening, though his former psychiatrist was hesitant to diagnosis (which we understand). However, he has been exhibiting the symptoms and they have become a problem for him recently. He also has the manifestations of OCD, ADHD, anxiety disorder, and depression. He also has scoliosis which has causes his neck to draw to one side, making it difficult for him to walk straight, shelve items, etc. without accidents. He is learning to commpensate for this, though the progress is slow. His focus and attention is a rather large problem, even with medication.

He is on the waiting list for some day programs for which transportation is provided, as he needs and desires interaction outside the home. He does not drive or ride a scooter or other vehicles and we do not live where there is public transportation. I am hoping to sell my home soon so that we can move where there is easier access to intellectual stimulation for him.

His recent hospitalization has been a positive event, as it has helped him see he does have many gifts and skills that others (autistic or no) do not have. He has been a terrific help to other patients in making them feel comfortable, helping explain words they do not understand in questionnaires, and telling (appropriate) jokes to make them laugh. During my visits many have told me what a joy he has been to them. For the first time in seven years, he is not hearing voices with new medication. We only hope that it does not cause the tics that his former medicine had begun to cause.

Thank you for your inquiry.

_________________
How glorious it is ? and also how painful ? to be an exception. --Alfred De Musset

MOA
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: North Carolina, USA

14 Dec 2008, 12:02 pm

Puppet wrote:

Welcome!

Thanks, Puppet! Glad to be here.

_________________
How glorious it is ? and also how painful ? to be an exception. --Alfred De Musset

MOA
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: North Carolina, USA

14 Dec 2008, 12:07 pm

militarybrat wrote:

Hi, welcome to wrong planet. I'm a 23 year old aspie whose mom works in an autism support classroom with the IU. I think you'll find that we are as varied in experience and personality as Neuro-typicals are. We just relate closer to eachother than to NTs, at least I think so. This is a good place to come to for information, disscution and just interacting with those in the autism community. Hopefully you find what your looking for and feel free to have your son join to if he wantsp.s sorry about the spelling I'm at the library and can't find the spell check.

Hi Militarybrat!

Thanks for the information. You write in a nice succinct style which makes it easy to understand. I have learned a lot already just from reading the perspectives of others. My son has a variety of other issues, most recently, an episode of schizophrenia which landed him the the hospital. (He's been there for almost two weeks.)

I look forward to checking in as often as possible for further understanding.

_________________
How glorious it is ? and also how painful ? to be an exception. --Alfred De Musset

MOA
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: North Carolina, USA

14 Dec 2008, 12:23 pm

glider18 wrote:

Glider18,

I found your response to be quite helpful! How wonderful that you have a family and that you are working to understand them as they try to understand you. I think that's the key to communication between any two people, no matter who they are.

My son loves to read and write. When he is focused and motivated he writes beautifully, sometimes even bringing tears to his dad's and my eyes with his words. He is quick-witted and enjoys comics such as "Far Side" and "Calvin & Hobbes." However, most of the time he prefers to watch and read fantasy and science fiction followed by acting out favorite scenes. He could do this all day and all night long. He likes to make lists of the martial arts moves (or other scenes) he uses as he plays.

As a family, we all read all seven of the Harry Potter series, having discussions about the plot, the characters, the relationships between the characters, and made predictions. He was spot on with most of his predictions. Though he read the classics in high school, he does not choose them without prompts. He likes action films, too.

We are in a "limbo" period right now, especially since he has been hospitalized for the last two weeks. He had an episode with schizophrenia for which he (and we) felt he needed specialized medical intervention. He's feeling much better and for the first time in seven years is symptom free where hearing voices are concerned. He's actually been a bit of a comfort for other patients at the psychiatric hospital and has enjoyed the interaction with them, as long as he still has his room to go to when being with people becomes too overwhelming for him.

We are hoping his medications can get "straightened out" and that that will lead to an easier time finding a day program for him.

Thank you for your encouragement!

_________________
How glorious it is ? and also how painful ? to be an exception. --Alfred De Musset

gbollard
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Location: Sydney, Australia

14 Dec 2008, 7:39 pm

Hi Moa,

It sounds like things are on the mend.

One of the keys to schizophrenia seems to be to keep the person from socially isolating themselves.

My best friend has had schizophrenia for the last ten years and he's slowly lost confidence in his ability to do anything. It's heartbreaking and I've not been of much help to him because I can't get him to leave his own house anymore.

Your son sounds like he could have a future as a copyreader or editor.

Good luck.

_________________
Gavin.
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/

MOA
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: North Carolina, USA

15 Dec 2008, 6:10 am

gbollard wrote:

Thanks for the encouragement. Does your best friend also have Asperger's?

_________________
How glorious it is ? and also how painful ? to be an exception. --Alfred De Musset

OutlawSteph
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 9 Jul 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 52

15 Dec 2008, 12:16 pm

Hi MOA. I wouldn't expect any 19 year old to be self sufficient without a college degree. Maybe when you were that age a guy could go off to work at a factory and support himself and his family on that salary but not anymore. When it's time, look at smaller schools or community colleges, perhaps something that is commuting distance from your home. I remember when I was that age and looking at large universities, such as Boston University, and was intimidated simply because I didn't think I'd be able to get to know any of my professors with 100 other students in the class. But I ended up at a smaller school in downtown Boston. There's always someone for a college student to depend on, friends, professors, career counselors, etc. It's easier to make friends in college than it is in high school.. because it's okay to be a little weird. :wink:

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