Found this website today and this is my first post

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I first heard of Asperger's Syndrome when it was mentioned on Rush Limbaugh a while back. After listening to several callers describing the symptoms they were describing me. Further research on the web and recall of a very sad and lonely childhood gave me a strong feeling maybe that I may have Aspergers or maybe it’s close cousin PDD-NOS. I do recall some obsessions while young but they were not overwhelming or controlled my life and do have some pronunciation problems and very poor handwriting skills but I do not ever recall being anymore clumsier than other kids my age. My cousins, brothers, sister, daughters, or grandsons do not seem to have these problems. They are all happy and have good interpersonal skills.

I am now 55 years old and for my entire life I have always had problems with interpersonal relations both social and in work/study groups. I was teased and shunned by my brothers, their friends, and other kids while growing up. In my entire life I never had a friend; even after 24 years of service in the USAF I never bonded with any of my fellow airman. I did not have a social life in junior or senior high school and college and never attended any social activities like proms or dances. I do not care for parties, when I do go my wife and I take separate vehicles so I can leave early.

On the other hand I have successfully attended college and have a BS and MBA. But because of a lack of social skills I have no personal network or contacts so I have not advanced professionally and now stuck in a dead-end job which I will most likely stay in until I die. I was and still am a loner and always feel as if I am on the outside looking in.


I do not have any personal relations with any of siblings; I live in a different State. I just can’t forget the constant teasing and belittlement that I received from them and their friends. I rarely ever visit my family and the only reason I do is to see my parents. Once they are gone I have no plans to ever return there again.

I have fought off low self-esteem and minor depression for years. I never feel any sense of self accomplishment even after graduating from college (I never attended any graduation ceremonies) and other milestones and what few accomplishments I did have when younger was ridiculed by my brothers.

So I would like to hear how others cope this late in life.

Hi Sully,
I strongly recommend finding a GP or Psychiatrist who can diagnose you. I know it completely changed my outlook on life, even after suspecting I had AS for a long time - and I'm half your age. It will also open up official support channels to you. There are many many others who have been diagnosed late in life, and I can't think of a single negative case.

All the best to you,
Ben

Welcome

Welcome, I look forward to seeing you post.

Some of those on the spectrum have average or even good gross motor skills but poor fine motor skills.

I think obsessions vary. I know mine were a lot more intense and lasted longer as a child but as a young adult they tend to be short term and don't take up every minute of the day.

I can't comment on whether or not you have an asd but a lot of people who are higher functioning (and strangely enough a few people who are lower functioning) 'slip through the cracks' as it were, and are diagnosed later than they could have been or misdiagnosed.

Take a look at the link. Of course it can't take the place of a diagnosis but I found that when I tried the test out that I did indeed have more more symptoms than I had realised, but I had simply failed to notice them because they weren't 'text book' or I didn't generalise the diagnostic symptoms into my own circumstances:

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

hiya sully, there's quite a lot of us older people here, I didn't get dx'ed till about 40. It must be quite a shock for you, explains a lot too though, a relief. Welcome to the site.

Welcome!

We're glad you found Wrong Planet. Outside of my congregation and family, I have practically a zero social life.

Welcome to WP!

I was older than you when I was diagnosed; I suggested the diagnosis after reading something about it in Time or Newsweek. Turns out it explains my symptoms very well, including my allergy to the smell of fragrance and cleaning products.

Welcome.

My advice for you is to stop beating yourself up so much about what you haven't done or haven't achieved in your life.

Look at your situation another way: as an undiagnosed Aspie you didn't get any help or support, you've been teased and felt ostracised. You've had sufficient insight to realise that you have some deficits in comparison to the wider population, and that's held you back career-wise.

But despite all that, you have had a long career in the armed services. You're holding down a job, albeit one that you feel maybe doesn't maximise your potential and give you as much job satisfaction. You have a wife.

There are many diagnosed Aspies who haven't had the success that you have, who haven't been able to achieve all that you have, even with knowledge about their Aspieness and maybe some understanding and support from mental health services, educational services, workmates and family.

Instead of despairing and feeling depressed about how little you've achieved, I think you actually ought to be patting yourself on the back and congratulating yourself for having achieved so much in the face of adversity without help and support.

Well done!

Welcome!

Hello, sully2000, and welcome to Wrong Planet.

Thanks for the welcome, I will be examing this website the next few days.

Welcome, I hope that we make you feel at home here.

Since I have accpeted to myself that I am very likely to be an aspie I have felt much more at peace with myself. I think that the others here on WP are in general an understanding group who are willing to tolerate diversity much more than the "general public".

Do bear in mind that here on WP you will meet all many of different types of people including experts in many fields, so if you do have questions then feel free to ask. Do however understand that that we do not have the answer to everything here on WP, and sometimes the answers to the same question will depend on who you ask.

I hope to see more of you around WP.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Welcome to WP!

Hey, Sully. Where were you stationed? We've been stationed at Japan, Texas (truly an alien land) and Alaska. Having a violent autistic daughter cut short my husband's career in the AF, but we loved the service.

To WrongPlanet!! !