better off not knowing...

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I'm new to this whole thing. I have recently gone through a battery of testing that has cost my parents thousands of dollars and I feel too old to have done that to them. I am 29 years old now and have spent entirety of my 20's spinning my wheels and getting nowhere in life. I am now making an attempt to go back to school and having the same ridiculous problems that I had before. Learning problems, spacial problems and of course, social problems. This lead me to a team of people who specialize in diagnosing and helping people with learning disabilities and more specifically autism in it's many forms. I have now been given an official diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome and it's making me rather upset. I am an artist. I had always assumed that my problems are related to me being neurotic and weird (artistic). I'm very depressed. My live in boyfriend is upset with me because of my lingering depression and has made the assumption that the diagnosis of Asperger's is related to retardation. This feels like a mess ultimately, it seems like there are more unanswered questions in a diagnosis than having no diagnosis at all. I am obsessed all the time with finding solutions now. I really would like some feedback on real life solutions to depression relating to autisn. I don't know if I posted this in the right category. If I didn't I apologize.


Liz

Hi Liz - welcome to WP!

I don't know about depression related to AS, but if you haven't already done so, you should get a copy of Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome - it will probably answer lots of your questions. There are a number of other helpful books listed on the books page of this website (it's a link at the top of this page.)

There are lots of people here who have dealt with depression & should be able to give you some definitive answers on that.

Hang in there & good luck!

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

You are still you. Geek, artist, Asperger's, whatever. Just a new way of under-standing the same old thing. Just hang with us. It might take a while to catch up.

I'm not so much depressed as seriously pissed off after a lifetime of abuse.
WrongPlanet is also a good place to vent.

Speaking of which, I take exception to your phrase, "my problems." It's not you.
It's the rest of the world. Don't listen too seriously to the shrinks and their NT-bias. They might have an accurate, superficial description, but they don't get it at all.
And don't be too quick to accept their stupid drugs unless you really believe that you need them.

So run with it and have fun. Obsession is what we do best. Particularly when you're an artist, let your inner geek shine.

Welcome aboard Wrong Planet, fellow-traveler Liz.

I thought my problems were to do with being a creative type too. Welcome to the site.

Welcome-

Many of us older ones who have been DXed late have these issues. I also thought I was just weird because maybe I came from an intellectual family. But I am weird because I am autistic. BUT maybe many of the artists in the past were weird because they were, too.

There are many who refuse to look at this as a disorder, but as a difference. There are labels for everything now. But there are also people who refuse them.

I accept the label because it helps me to get help I need. But I reject it in my personal life. And I tell no one because until they know more- how this is caused, or how many different autisms there are, I will only accept that I am autistic because i know it's not the end of the story.


When they can say You have it from the shot or you have it because you were exposed to a neuro toxin, or you have it because your mother did thus and so.......

but as it is now, it;s just "You do this and that and maybe this and that..." That's not enough, That is medical igorance. But I also know they are trying, but they are not there yet.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Same thing. Village idiot, wizard, possessed, inspired... different cultures have had different names and ways of understanding. Now you have a closer clue as to why you are creative. It doesn't change the fact that you are, or make it any less valuable.

I would like to thank the people who have responded. This seems to be a great place for people to be honest without too much harshness. I have not yet told my friends about what's going on with me. I may decide not to tell them at all, who knows... I really appreciate being able to keep some things separate for a while. Getting diagnosed with something is strange because you can't un-hear it in your mind, or at least I can't seem to. I feel as if I'm a broken record at the moment. Maybe things will improve with time and life.

I'm slightly hopeful.

thank you

Liz

yes it's a good idea NOT to tell people, they tend to use it against you (ret*d, gullible) and families often deny it.

I'd just let it sink in, took me a few years to accept the dx.

Hi liz the moose

Welcome liz the moose to the WP. We can understand you here. I was diagnosed at 44 this past November. I am very happy with my diagnosis---but for some reason it is hard to accept as well. In my case, I feel like there could be something else at work, and I am afraid to not have Asperger's. I say this because Asperger's explains nearly everthing about my eccentric life. I had always worried and wondered as to why I was so strange growing up. Now I know what caused it. Asperger's makes sense to me and I am happy with that.

I also have OCD. Thought not an official diagnosis, it is beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have it. So I obsess a lot. And I am currently obsessing that I might be narcissisic rather than Asperger's. But I have taken online tests (whatever they are worth) and they indicate that I am clearly not narcissistic. I have taken the autism tests and I test positive for autism on all of that I have taken. My only reason for ever wondering about this is because I enjoy being unique. But on an uniqueness test I actually scored below average.

I say all of this because when you are on the autistic spectrum it is normal to ask questions and wonder why you ever sought a diagnosis in the first place---for those of us who got it as adults.

Now it is time to live. You need to make a new beginning and enjoy life. Enjoy your autism. I am enjoying mine. I even wear my WrongPlanet golf shirt a lot in public. I have a motto in life now that I use here as my signature: "My journey has just begun." Why not make that your motto too. Life is too short not to enjoy it. Asperger's is autism---I know that can sound terrible to some---but, autism is just another way of thinking. Neurotypical is another way of thinking. There have been many famous and important people who have Asperger's. I don't see it as a problem. Enjoy.

Broken records are something of a specialty around here. Join the chorus.

How did you feel when you found out you had AS?
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt74040.html

Do you ever want to tell someone?
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt80868.html
-- Everybody has a different answer.

Last edited by Tahitiii on 11 Feb 2009, 12:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome to WP!