I'm currently working within a company which apparantly has a bad stigma associated with it. And therefore any employees working their is strictly prohibited according to the social laws in my area. Therefore NT non-verbal behaviour, negative behaviour is often expected and with it a reaction is expected to the recipient or the employee. The NT will execute non-verbal visual cues to make the employee aware of the NT's opinion, which often is negative and has no logic.
Today, and apparantly I was subjected to the same NT negative behaviour, although I was unaware of it my employees expected a reaction from me. Sadly I was unaware and therefore an expected reaction both from the NT and the employees was replaced with a blank face. This had apparently shook fear into my employees becuase they would have expected a reaction from me in some form. They would have expected me to have read the visual cues and know that it was deliberatly targeted to put me down.
I now know that for some of them my obvious non responsiviness was put down as control or inner intergrity, perhaps intelligence and being unnaffected by those less intelligent than me. I had made it worse by laughing at what I could see.
My manager could not understand and had several attempts to make me aware of it, I became aware that my unresponsivness had put him down somewhat. And he was afraid to ask me questions and was stumbelling in his speech. I clearly had an affect on other people becuase they could not understand why I showed no response, just an unexpected blank face.
It would be like shouting at somebody but getting a response of laughter or of no response, for NT's some things are expeced while others just aren't.
When a response is expected and it never happens, for NT's this is very unusal. Some sort of reponse in neccesary.
I now have to return to work tommorow knowing that I had affected a lot of people, some of them I believe were terrified that I was unnaffected and perhaps have no affection on them. Like some sort of immunity, as hard as you try to convince me I will just laugh at you.
I want to make them aware that it wasn't deliberate, I have a disbaility which prevents me from reading other people. And therefore any negative behaviour targeted at me is often ignored or read differently.
NT's rely on other people's opinions too heavily, therefore the opinion that I apparently showed made them aware that their views were worthless.
18 Mar 2009, 3:43 pm
