Requisite intro post, I guess? Hello from Canada.

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Hrmm, so I'm usually not the greatest at these things. I never know what I should say, and invariably they end up horribly long if I don't keep myself in check haha... but anyway.

I'm 32 years old and not yet officially diagnosed, but intend to seek a proper assessment very soon because from everything I've learnt through... erm, ridiculous amounts of reading and listening and watching, haha... Asperger's would more or less explain major components of my life and personality, and probably a lot of the things I've struggled with. Why I've long wondered what's "wrong" with me, and why I feel so alien in relation to other people a lot of the time. I've long described it as feeling like I missed a vital class in school on how to function as a normal human in certain areas of life. One thing that led me to considering Asperger's/ASD is my life-long struggle with several mental health issues, and trying to figure out what's actually behind them. I'm diagnosed with OCD, anorexia nervosa, major depression, and generalised anxiety disorder. The eating disorder in particular, the "why am I like this?", is pretty significant. There are many factors obviously, but the role of sensory issues is pretty huge in my disorder. Also the OCD-like aspect, which I've realised may very closely tie in with an autism spectrum disorder. I've always had great trouble relating to others with EDs who cite reasons of wanting to look good and that sort of thing. A few years ago I came across an academic piece about eating disorders and autism spectrum disorders in girls/women, and it was somewhat of a lightbulb moment. Like reading my own story. (I actually joined this forum a few months after that, but haven't posted until now.) As I say, there are certainly other factors in my life that may have precipitated its development, but I'm not sure I would ever have struggled as much as I do without that... foundation, I guess? I've read a lot of studies and watched a few online symposia and it just all makes a lot of sense. I've always felt there was something underlying things like my eating disorder, and why I began to struggle with stuff like depression, anxiety, and social anxiety even before that. Something in my brain that just wasn't "right", that made navigating social situations and life in general difficult for me in ways that I observed it wasn't for others.

Of course, the mental health stuff is not the only thing that's led me to my conclusion that I'm probably on the spectrum. It explains so many of my memories, stories my mum tells, and just many facets of my personality and the way I live my life and deal with the world. (One example: I have an abnormally terrible time coping with change, in both small ways and big ways. It's led to many meltdowns and interpersonal problems, and just difficulties with normal daily functioning.) Plus at least a dozen people have asked me if I'm on the spectrum haha, so.

Anyway... umm what else. Random stuff about me, I guess: I'm super introverted, I'm married to a guy but I'm not straight and our relationship is kinda weird and mostly pretty platonic but it works well, I'm a former French horn player who just took it up again after 18 years of not playing, I'm on disability assistance due to chronic illness stuff, I have a tarantula (Ariadne), a budgie (Stevie), a fish (Friday) and a dog (Ziggy), music is more or less life, I love crosswords and word searches and Scrabble and jigsaw puzzles (but hate sudokus with a burning passion), when I'm not listening to music I listen to the radio or podcasts or audiobooks rather obsessively, I also research things obsessively, I love taking photographs, occasionally I write for the sake of personal catharsis, I'm an atheist with naturalistic pantheist leanings, I adore long solitary walks, remembering useless minutiae appears to be one of my few strong skills in life, I'm pretty obsessed with Google Maps, if I was healthier and able to have a career I'd want to be a public radio journalist or a demographer, I love Brussels sprouts, sometimes I speak in a well-practised Belfast accent when I'm home alone, I have absolutely no regular sleep schedule... and perhaps most importantly, I really really love writing run-on sentences, hahaha.

Glad to be here, and I hope it will be both enjoyable and enlightening.

Hello welcome to Wrong Planet

I also had a light bulb moment reading something by a female Aspie, there were things mentioned that I had never connected to the times other people told me I was Asperger, like clothing problems, bad hair, OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOUR. Mine is to to with contamination, but the article mentioned that female Aspies often get diagnosed as depressed or eating disorders, and the Asperger is not picked up on.

I got my diagnosis about 4 months ago, I don't think it's essential for everyone, I still wasn't completely sure where on the spectrum or if it was something else so it did matter to me. I learnt some things about myself that were a shock too, so be prepared if you decide to go ahead. It also explained why the CBT I did was a disaster.

Scrabble is evil, Sudoku is fine, and obsessive behaviour is normal in an Aspie.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you both (a little belatedly!) for the replies.

Another Canuck here, eh? There are lots of us here from Canada -- if you care to do some searching.

Welcome. Interesting story you wrote there though it was a pain in the kiester to read because... the paragraphs were too darn long (I get lost in long paragraphs all the time). Thank goodness for being able to highlight text with the cursor.

Welcome!

Do you have an account on AVEN?

A horn player! Whenever I think of horns, I can't help but think about Mozart's buddy, Joseph Leutgeb, a horn player who was often the butt of his musical jokes.

Welcome, bittergrey... sounds like a tea... I'll have one cup of bittergrey... heavy on the sugar, please.