I am a 24 year old male from Canada. I have not been diagnosed with AS, but after a few days of reading various threads on random topics, it seems like I am finding people in these forums who have similar perceptions on things that used to make me feel very different. I have been diagnosed with extreme clinical depression, however.
I will share a few of the thoughts/perceptions that I have on some common issues that seem to set me apart from 99% of NT people.
- I have little patience for anything I see people doing or saying, that I deem as "cliche" eg (drunk people dancing in a bar, where the dancing is more or less dry humping. Ok, we all get it, your drunk and horny, why play the part as though your auditioning for a role?)
- It seems like people are running on social roles and ques, that they have ALLOWED (not been forced) to become hardwired into their brain from early teenage years.
- I am cold and calculating, but not devoid of strong emotion.
- I COULD express things like affection in the ways that are considered typical, but the mere FACT, that I know how a typical person would act in any given situation, causes me to want to rebel against the social que.
- I see people in groups in the same way you would watch a documentary about wolves. I watch and notice social ques. I see people acting in a stereotypical manner in any given situation. This makes it nearly impossible to genuinely relate to others, because it looks to me like everyone in the world is just "playing a part".
- I don't have the same attachments to things that other people seem to. eg (I am in a bar and this guy is talking s**t to me, calling me a fag, etc. I honestly, am not being bothered by the man's words, but I feel a social que - telling me that not getting angry at this man will make me look weak to the crowd, because the crowd around is EXPECTING me to react to the lout. In reality, I do not feel my manhood is threatened at all, rather I feel bad for this poor fellow that he feels the need to act this way.)
These are just some of the things that make me think I am a person with AS. I also have much of the more typical symptoms, but I tried to be at least somewhat original in the way I expressed how I felt. People here will probably understand me better than people in normal life do.
09 Apr 2009, 7:51 am
