Page 1 of 3 [ 34 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

FreedomG
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 67
Location: Neither Here Nor There

01 Aug 2008, 1:43 am

It was my understanding that this was a community site, correct?
and support is a vital part of said community, but you seem to misunderstand support.

support for those vulnerable is not back-patting them and nurturing self-pitying episodes of deprecation.
It is the encouragement to take control, I am not seeing that on this forum.

all I see is people complaining and not taking action.
you'd be surprised on what you can accomplish by taking control.
Relationships, friends, money...
If you stop being miserable all the time than it could happen.
Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself is no way to live and you should not encourage this behavior by fostering this type of environment.

Maybe its the AS, maybe that's the reason why you don't understand support.
hell, you'll blame everything else on AS and NTs or anything other than yourself.



Fuzzy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2006
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,223
Location: Alberta Canada

01 Aug 2008, 2:04 am

FreedomG wrote:
all I see is people complaining and not taking action.


Which begs the question why you are doing it too and not out doing your awesome act on the masses.

tttbbbppptttt!


_________________
davidred wrote...
I installed Ubuntu once and it completely destroyed my paying relationship with Microsoft.


FreedomG
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 67
Location: Neither Here Nor There

01 Aug 2008, 2:07 am

I'm pointing out the elephant in the room.



Quatermass
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2006
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 18,779
Location: Right behind you...

01 Aug 2008, 4:46 am

Either help, or vacate. Some people do need help, and your criticisms are not helping. Neither is your attitude, Gundam boy.


_________________
(No longer a mod)

On sabbatical...


Sora
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,906
Location: Europe

01 Aug 2008, 6:44 am

Staying silent, enduring everything with a smile, using hidden bullying and manipulation to make you feel better is something that many people do before they have the energy and level-mindedness to take action. But because most people rather like keeping to themselves and burning internally with doubt and shame, it is neither the right (nor there the wrong) thing to do but personal preference.

Complaining is a vitally important task for some. Have you ever heard of the saying 'blow off stream'? For some people that is a lot more healthy and thus a more fitting and better working strategy because keeping silent and just pretending to be super-human would make them sick.

Anyway, how do you thing you could possibly see anyone taking action from where you sit in front of your computer? There's no way you'd ever know what a person does besides what they do on WP.

Depending on what you mean, just 'taking control' does not automatically make you achieve money and relationships.

I wish I could control my autism. Speaking all I want, never having to leave parties, going out whenever I want, no more meltdowns, people liking me... because reducing and shifting my environment to fit my needs help s a lot, but it'll not make my body-language non-autistic, my need for routines to function go away etc.

The idea of modelling environment to put those with 'special' problems into the position of everybody 'average' with their problems is, on the other hand, the way that's possible to go about. But this won't fundamentally change who you are, what you are. You rather make accommodation in which these days also society and other people than just you have a say in to varying degrees.


_________________
Autism + ADHD
______
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett


sim
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 512
Location: an uneven circle

01 Aug 2008, 7:32 am

Quote:
support for those vulnerable is not back-patting them and nurturing self-pitying episodes of deprecation.


You are clearly not familiar with the levels of sensitivity some of us are capable of. This means that "encouraging control" is on a much higher plateau than is possible, even than what is needed, at the time of most "self-pitying episodes of deprecation".

Also, you're either a troll-in-training (in which case you've failed), or someone without AS whom acts as the ugly duckling in an attempt to make everyone else question the color of their own feathers.



01 Aug 2008, 8:41 am

Oh god not that word again. I get sick and tired of it being thrown around because people don't like what someone said so they call them a "troll." I do not think he is doing it. He was just expressing his feelings about this place and was sharing it with us. If expressing ourselves how we feel about other people here is now considered troll in training, then people are going to be afraid to express themselves. Even I get afraid to post because the of abuse of that word.


I agree with him too. Mmm now I just said that, that must make me "troll."


And I also get tired of the "You don't have AS" crap. Just because someone said something you don't like, you have to assume they probably don't have it. Oh my god.



sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

01 Aug 2008, 9:35 am

FreedomG wrote:
I'm pointing out the elephant in the room.


as are we, FreedomG.

you are the other elephant in the room.


Merle


_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon


MrMark
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2006
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,918
Location: Tallahassee, FL

01 Aug 2008, 9:44 am

It's good to know where he stands on these issues. When people feel they need what he has to offer, they know where to find him.


_________________
"The cordial quality of pear or plum
Rises as gladly in the single tree
As in the whole orchards resonant with bees."
- Emerson


release_the_bats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,033

01 Aug 2008, 9:47 am

I think it's hilarious when people complain about complaining. And I see it a lot on this site.

Usually, the "complainer" has a genuine concern and is seeking advice so that they can address their problem in a pro-active manner.

Those that complain about these complainers are simply complaining.



sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

01 Aug 2008, 10:44 am

release_the_bats wrote:
I think it's hilarious when people complain about complaining. And I see it a lot on this site.

Usually, the "complainer" has a genuine concern and is seeking advice so that they can address their problem in a pro-active manner.

Those that complain about these complainers are simply complaining.


and are imagining those others that are complaining are complaining for the same reason they are.

Merle


_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon


greenblue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,896
Location: Home

01 Aug 2008, 4:07 pm

I complain! :x


_________________
?Everything is perfect in the universe - even your desire to improve it.?


greenblue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,896
Location: Home

01 Aug 2008, 4:17 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
I agree with him too. Mmm now I just said that, that must make me "troll."

Not really, I believe it depends on how it is said and what are the real intentions behind the claims, although those are interpretatinos people make, considering in this case, that the poster has just signed up, would make people think that the user is a sockpuppet, there have been few members, although not sure if they are still here, that have said to challenge people that post in the Haven forum, which they don't like the idea of people ranting or saying some personal things in there, honestly, I don't see why they care, probably it would be one of the things that would make a bully to bully.

Quote:
And I also get tired of the "You don't have AS" crap. Just because someone said something you don't like, you have to assume they probably don't have it. Oh my god.

I think that could be taken as trolling behaviour, in a site for autistics and for aspies.


_________________
?Everything is perfect in the universe - even your desire to improve it.?


greenblue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,896
Location: Home

01 Aug 2008, 4:32 pm

FreedomG wrote:
It was my understanding that this was a community site, correct?
and support is a vital part of said community, but you seem to misunderstand support.

Well, people can support each other here, in some way, but it won't be 100% helpful, from a forum, any forum or comunity on the internet you can't get the actual help a professional therapist would be able to provide.

Quote:
support for those vulnerable is not back-patting them and nurturing self-pitying episodes of deprecation.
It is the encouragement to take control, I am not seeing that on this forum.

all I see is people complaining and not taking action.
you'd be surprised on what you can accomplish by taking control.
Relationships, friends, money...

Showing some examples on how provided a "better" support wouldn't hurt.

Quote:
If you stop being miserable all the time than it could happen.
Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself is no way to live and you should not encourage this behavior by fostering this type of environment.

Why not? I have enjoyed feeling sorry for myself, maybe we need some of that, not only that, but I also have seen people in similar situations, that is, not feeling alone, knowing someone else is going through the same situation, and feeling a little comfort in this, I think some need to let it all out, it could help in a way, with time one realise what should be better as said again, this site or any other site won't be able to help someone, that is their own choice, the site is not responsable for what a person do with their life.

Quote:
Maybe its the AS, maybe that's the reason why you don't understand support.

Maybe, or maybe it's just yourself.

Quote:
hell, you'll blame everything else on AS and NTs or anything other than yourself.

Well, people are different, you might think that people should be like you, everybody have different coping mechanisms.


_________________
?Everything is perfect in the universe - even your desire to improve it.?


FreedomG
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 67
Location: Neither Here Nor There

01 Aug 2008, 5:49 pm

Troll?

I've heard this before. Is that what we call them?
Like Self-hating Jew or Uncle Tom?

Well, I think I'll go sit under my bridge then.



MrMark
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2006
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,918
Location: Tallahassee, FL

01 Aug 2008, 6:53 pm

We have good reason to suspect that you know what a troll is, though I don't approve of the name-calling. It is the internet after all, and you're a pretty smart guy.


_________________
"The cordial quality of pear or plum
Rises as gladly in the single tree
As in the whole orchards resonant with bees."
- Emerson