Making it Better: The future of WP
Teach51
Veteran

Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
Like it? Not so much. The only benefits are that I know people have read my posts and are thinking of me. What they may actually be thinking, however, is largely open to conjecture.
It may be worth a little introspection.
Maybe have a look at they posts you have made where you know people had a problem, and see if there is one (or more) factors or traits that some or all of them have in common, to help you pinpoint the cause of the problems?
That is a brilliant idea. Find the common denominator in problematic posts. Get it right the next time, that makes sense. Like reviewing a report that keeps getting sent back from the boss and you can't put your finger on where you are going wrong. Find the elusive glitch. Amend. Logical indeed.
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My best will just have to be good enough.
This seems to imply choice. Some students have a different learning style or are not capable of learning certain concepts. I was never able to learn algebra. That didn't mean I refused to learn it, I tried to understand it but couldn't. It was too abstract for me and I am not good with abstract things.
We wouldn't say someone with low intelligence is refusing to learn life skills just because it is taking them longer to learn to hang up a jacket.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
There's a whole lot of space in between the two of those. You don't do gray, do you?
Isn't being black and white and honest a autism characteristic?
I can't believe he is being scolded for one of his symptoms.

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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
Conclusion: I should wait for threads to develop a few pages before submitting a post full of the most popular and pleasant little lies already stated in that thread, even if those lies conflict with lies I subsequently post in other threads.
Thanks for the advice!


Sarcasm?
Last edited by Steve1963 on 20 Aug 2020, 11:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
I never knew telling someone to have a nice day was sarcasm. I thought they were just being polite so they are not taken as hostile because this is the internet where it's easy to misinterpret tone.
You can even be supportive to someone and that person can take your tone as bullying.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I used to tutor. One student was failing history, so his parents asked me to tutor him on that subject. I spent the first week deconstructing the conspiracy theories in which he believed, and the lessons seemed to go smoothly after that; but every few lessons, he would flat out deny what his history books told him, and would launch into a rant about what he believed really happened.
At the end of the semester, his report card arrived. He had failed History. All of his other grades were in the A-B range. His parents were distraught, and I refunded their fee.
He failed History because he chose to believe what he heard on late-night talk radio instead of what was written in his textbooks. Now, while I cannot account for the veracity of those textbooks, I can state for a fact that the material in those textbooks was what he was expected to learn, and since he chose to learn something else, he received a failing grade.
I don't know what happened to him after that ... maybe he went into politics ...
Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou for affirming what I have been trying to get across -- even the most helpful of intent matters for nothing if someone assumes that your intent is hostile! It is by assumption that people are accused, and not by fact.
Thanks again!
(By the way ... the only "tone" in silent reading exists in the readers own mind.)
Teach51
Veteran

Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou for affirming what I have been trying to get across -- even the most helpful of intent matters for nothing if someone assumes that your intent is hostile! It is by assumption that people are accused, and not by fact.
Thanks again!
So you are advising more clarification of intent? That's something I forget to do sometimes. That would avoid un-necessary misunderstandings. How could we encourage posters to do that more? By example is what comes to mind. Not being sarcastic btw. Truly enquiring.
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My best will just have to be good enough.
There have been several occasions in which my posts have been taken poorly by a reader. I have apologized for the posts and never meant them to be offensive. I have to think very hard to come up with a post that I think cannot be taken poorly. I suppose that is like walking on egg shells. It is difficult for me to express my ideas.
I think there has been way too much focus on Fnord in this thread. Fnord is irrelevant to the well-being of the forum. Even if I were to stipulate that all the accusations were true, I still do not see Fnord as a reason for the site to be going downhill. So many pages of a thread being devoted to one person is insane, people. (I am trying to figure out if that last sentence is permitted.)
Everyone posting now has contributed in a positive way to the discussion. I sense we are moving forward. With the addition of the new mods, I think things will improve. I see improvements just in this thread. People are posting thoughtful posts and are being listened to. Even though unhappy about some things, we are at least talking about them.
BR, I find your posts most valuable and do not see your posts in this thread as endangering what others think of you. You had some good points to make and you made them. IL the same for you. You have some very good points and it appears there was some serious mod failures there...but maybe that is a lesson for the incoming mods and for the current ones. Sometimes things get lost in the shuffle. I know it happens to me. All of you, Steve, Brictoria, Sly, Kortie, LeagueGirl, Teach, Ferris, Fnord, you all are great. I'm sure I missed some important people, but I mean you too, you all too.
Sorting things out takes patience and time. I see it in my work all the time, the sorting, the resentments, the unhappiness, the things done and not done. When everyone acts in good faith, with time, these things can be sorted.
I value all of you. Please stay. Please contribute.
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The river is the melody
And sky is the refrain - Gordon Lightfoot
Just as we all have the responsibility to not intentionally insult others, so too do others have the responsibility to not seek insult where none was given.
I think there has been way too much focus on Fnord in this thread. Fnord is irrelevant to the well-being of the forum. Even if I were to stipulate that all the accusations were true, I still do not see Fnord as a reason for the site to be going downhill. So many pages of a thread being devoted to one person is insane, people. (I am trying to figure out if that last sentence is permitted.)
Everyone posting now has contributed in a positive way to the discussion. I sense we are moving forward. With the addition of the new mods, I think things will improve. I see improvements just in this thread. People are posting thoughtful posts and are being listened to. Even though unhappy about some things, we are at least talking about them.
BR, I find your posts most valuable and do not see your posts in this thread as endangering what others think of you. You had some good points to make and you made them. IL the same for you. You have some very good points and it appears there was some serious mod failures there...but maybe that is a lesson for the incoming mods and for the current ones. Sometimes things get lost in the shuffle. I know it happens to me. All of you, Steve, Brictoria, Sly, Kortie, LeagueGirl, Teach, Ferris, Fnord, you all are great. I'm sure I missed some important people, but I mean you too, you all too.
Sorting things out takes patience and time. I see it in my work all the time, the sorting, the resentments, the unhappiness, the things done and not done. When everyone acts in good faith, with time, these things can be sorted.
I value all of you. Please stay. Please contribute.



When people have been talking about issues with bullying on this forum, it had been about Fnord all along?
I have never seen him as a bully. I have disagreed with him but I never took it as he was being a bully just because he has a different opinion or I think what he thinks is harsh like "refusing to learn" for example.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
As just one example: I waved at my neighbor and said "Have a nice day!" in the most cheery voice I could muster, and he replied with "What the f**** do you mean by that, s****head?"
I haven't spoken to him since.
There really are some people who perceive hostile intent where none exists.
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