Making it Better: The future of WP

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You seem to have a special hidden talent for bringing out the ugly in people.

Aye, I know. And you're still the hot topic here

I can imagine this is quite unpleasant for you, but maybe you should also feel flattered in a way: you seem to inspire passions bordering on obsession!

No, not at all. I know some people see him as a bully but that should be handled by the mods.

The bullying against sly and some others mostly happened in the PPR, accompanied by a lot of trolling too: that was the work of others. Edit: and ended up spilling from there all over the place, including the Haven

There's also a recurring issue here when people see others breaking the rules without consequences and start doing the same thing, probably assuming the rule doesn't apply anymore. This isn't new and wasn't caused by Fnord.

Last edited by BenderRodriguez on 20 Aug 2020, 12:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Then maybe considering the action is more relevant than determining intent.

If someone says "Have a nice day", then why not just have a nice day?

Why ruin your day wondering and worrying about intent?

It's like Milhouse van Houton once said, "Even abuse is attention ... sort of ..."

I missed the first 800 posts in this thread, but I was never talking about Fnord. I haven't seen others speak directly (or implied / indirectly) about Fnord either, unless he brings up his own concerns. His concerns are valid and he has a right to express how he feels, especially on a thread like this, but it seems to me that most people who have mentioned him have only been responding to his comments, or his request for honest feedback. Maybe I'm wrong, so I apologise if I've missed any other feedback which preceded his current comments. Most of the suggestions here seem to be focussed on the reasons some people have felt disenfranchised, and seeking to improve the site experience overall. I see a lot of positive change and I want to thank Amity again, for having the idea of opening such a topic for discussion.

This has been my experience too. Sometimes I get frustrated or annoyed if I feel what I'm saying is misunderstood or misconstrued so I just make a short apology and clarification and disengage. Protracted exchanges and splitting hairs just ended up causing more trouble - at leas for me.



Yeah, I know. One user here was so exasperated that assumed the constant derailments are a deliberate manouver to distract from the core issues

And thank you for the kind words, blaze

I assure you that wondering (there's certainly no worry involved) about intent does nothing to ruin my day. It actually makes it more interesting.

Oh dear.I think those of us who have pure intentions should attach a disclaimer to our signature saying so. That really must be frustrating to be completely misinterpreted.

SharonB has a great way of posting, she clarifies if she is joking, not being sarcastic, metaphor, that's really helpful.

Have you read my latest sig line?  It's not quite what you meant (I think), but it expresses my thoughts exactly.

This could be hard for average aspie mind to interpolate. Ie. (Signature line.) A small disclaimer for some folks would be nice occasionally.

There have been earlier in the thread some comments along the lines: Fnord is single-handledly ruining my experience here. And some tried to point the finger at others too.

I think it could be very useful for Fnord and those who complain about him if a civil exchange was possible where both sides could understand where a disagreement turns into a fight and what exactly in each of their behaviours' is pushing the other over the edge. I know Fnord admits himself that sometimes he doesn't know when to walk away, but some others who had unpleasant experiences with him also seem to assume the worst and react with hostility when he's actually making an effort to get along or be helpful.

Maybe one of the new mods will have the disponibility and patience to mediate such an exchange or they could all just "sit down" together and find a cohesive strategy on how to deal with combative or controversial people here.

Or maybe some people just need to learn there are people they should refrain from engaging: a working "ignore" feature would probably help.

When your up to your butt in alligators it can be hard To remember you actually came there to drain the swamp.

When you have a group , Or a swamp full of people whom may have trouble expressing themselves .?
Under many situations .
There are bound to be a few alligators. ( misunderstandings) in the swamp regardless of ones best intentions ,

Just offered as a thought
)

Isabella, I certainly didn't mean to imply or criticize anything that you have done in this thread or on the forum entirely. Earlier in this thread, there was some pretty consistent Fnord bashing. But I wasn't accusing you or anyone in particular. Just a general observation that Fnord is not the cause or the solution to the problems of WP. I am sorry if it came across as critical of you. I think your posts are fair, kind and wonderful.

That goes for anyone else. Of course I forgot people. Jakki for example. I just wanted people to know that everyone is a valued part of this forum and what they contribute is important.

I've learned to change my words and how I talk like I will now say "some people" or "most people" or "few people" or even mentioned what I have observed online regarding behaviors. But someone on here will still twist it and change it to "all" or something and still take offense.

Also, I don't think people should say "some" when it's pretty obvious what they are talking about such as "I have issues with feminism" and reading the OP it's pretty obvious he was talking about radical feminists who bash all men and express misandry. But some users still took offense to mean "all feminists."

I can't make everyone happy and someone out there will still think "oh League Girl is talking about me" and my comeback is 'You are not the only one who does that behavior' just so they know it's not about them. really, I can't imagine writing down usernames all over the internet and listing behaviors they do I don't like or have observed just so I can list all names from all over the internet to ensure someone here I am not talking about them when I make a post here.

Then we have members here believing "oh members here just change their words to veil their attacks so the mods won't notice."

And I am sitting here wondering, "how the heck do you do a personal attack without doing a personal attack?"

And I am too lazy to go back in this thread to even find user names that made these claims to list their names here so they won't feel I am being passive aggressive. To me it's even ridiculous to even do this. Though I remember Smudge and Kraftiekortie have mentioned saying they want it said to their face. I never had a problem with them though so I have nothing critical to say about them. Though Smudge has mistaken my tone once saying I was sly or something and another user here (who no longer comes here) said she has never seen me do something like that.

But anyway, I have realized people will always misinterpret your words and tone and people will get offended either way. We can't please everyone.

There have been members here I choose to not engage with because they have been the ones to try and start fights with me, misconstrue what I say, twist my words, try and change my argument, say things that are not related to what I have said. If I ignore them, I hope they will go away and stop responding. They usually have left this place so no worries. Maybe too many members were ignoring them and they realized it so they left.

I really do want a ignore feature here. But I also have the ability to not engage with someone. If I feel they are harassing me and still going after me after I had been ignoring them and it's getting harder to ignore, I message a mod to tell that member to stop responding to my comments. On other forums with the ignore feature, I don't need to tell admins and mods to tell that member to quit talking to me.