Reasons Aspies don't join/leave WP?

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I think that sums it up nicely.

I've never quit gotten the rationale that it should be "okay" for men to make negative generalizations about women just because they had bad experiences. I've had bad experiences with black people, but if I went around blasting black people as a group, I'd be condemned as a racist. Whimpering that I should be allowed to say bad things about black people because I've had negative experiences wouldn't be tolerated.

Which brings me to the question, why is racism unacceptable, but sexism is?

As for L&D, that place is a cesspool. The last time I stuck my head in their, two people were actually threatening to beat each other up. It used to be that you could occasionally get a decent discussion on gender-related discussions, but no longer.

I have nothing to say to posts that are chronically negative; therefore, I simply avoid them.

When it seems like WP is filling up with them, I avoid WP.

The types of people who think their problems are much more important/profound than everyone else's literally come out and say their problems are more important/profound than anyone else's problems. These people are immature and obnoxious.

Actually, both are unacceptable, but people who are not really impacted by either seem to love arguing that they should be acceptable, or that it is as bad or worse to say someone is racist or sexist than it is to actually be racist or sexist. So, the same thing that just happened in this thread does happen with relation to just about everything else, such as disability, sexuality, etc.

Well it is the biggest non-difference, between the sexes. The majority have negative experiences with the opposite sex.
I also feel that the majority only draw a veil over their racism, it is still there behind the mask.

No, I'd say the majority have negative experiences with people, some of whom are the same gender and some of whom are not.

It's a mistake to generalize that to everyone of a particular gender.

Hello Verdandi, I was responding to the question:

by XFiles Geek, I missed your message as I am a slow typer.

I understand what you are saying and yes people have the option not to click specific threads or switch off WP or not log into WP at all. The problem there is many posters casually post their opinions under the guise of discussion and these unfortunately can be inflammatory and often the poster or OP may ot even be aware of the impact.

My main bugbear is the way many people here with high functioning Aspergers completely write off members of the WP community who have (what is labelled) lower functioning or severe autism. There is a misconception that if you are on WP then you must be Aspie and I think this ignores many (perhaps hundreds) who were diagnosed with autism had (and currently have) speech issues but are able to write and post on this forum. A lot of uneccessary and ignorant comments posted that many percieve adds to the negative environment that seems to ignore the personal experiences or sensitivity of our Autie brothers and sisters.

Something that I find very sad about the whole issue is that if enough good people leave L&D because it's too negative, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as only the negative ones will be left, who will keep scaring away everyone and then nothing would change.

The same thing could be said about all of WP, in the only the "negative" topics will be left, and nothing will change.

That's part of the reason I avoid that forum. Have no idea if I'm going to go back, but in the state of things, I don't know.



While I see the concepts forming in the future, I think it might be a little harder with WP in general since there are calm/inactive places to balance out the active/charged parts of the forum.

I think I chase people away. I thought I was helping and that it would be ok to be myself. That isn't good enough for dealing with people that come here seeking something else.

I can only explain it in a way like for instance, me and small dogs don't seem to gel really well. Big dogs have no problem with me, but the small ones are always barking and snarling at me. If I get closer to them like I would have with a big dog, they squeal and bite. So for me, it is just best to leave them alone.

I think it could also be related their type of personalities. How I carry myself, I guess tact isn't one of my strengths

Oh well, just keep moving forward, I guess.

I've never seen you acting in an unpleasant manner on WP so you shouldn't be so hard on yourself

I previously left because lack of change... Kept basically seeing almost identical posts for a period of time, found nothing 'unique' or 'interesting' for too long and left...
Then somehow forgot my password (Never done that before with any account password...) and didn't come back for over a year because I'd have to make a new account...

Hi! Now that I've got hold of you, why did you live the AAI forum?

Do I really need to answer that for you?



And I'm free to assume that someone who sees "sexism" lurking behind every innocuous post has problems of their own, it doesn't make either assumption correct. A lot of what I see called out as "sexism" down there reads more like poor choices of words, overwrought reactions to rejection, failure to understand the opposite sex, and frustration, i.e. things you'd expect from people suffering from communications disorder. There certainly is real sexism down there, but when inadvertent missteps and innocent mistakes are remorselessly persecuted as if they were intentionally malicious, it's hard to see the constructive value in that.



No, actually, you don't just get to call something "sexist" and drop the mike, you need to back up the accusation. The term is not an absolute, and as can be easily seen, not only are there many different opinions on what actually constitutes sexism, but differences in degree.



Nice strawman, I'll give you a call when Halloween rolls around. Also, you didn't answer my question, deflections don't count.



How many times do I need to say that I have no problem with the argument, only with the location? I see a dozen stupid and offensive things posted every time I cruise through the Haven, yet I manage to refrain from calling people out on them; it's called being appropriate.



Notice that I never referred to anyone in particular in the post that started this, and yet you went off an assumed that I was talking about your "side", and then made further assumptions about me. Further, I've said multiple times that the proper response to rule breaking posts is simply to report them, and yet you still accuse me of wanting to "protect" sexists. Perhaps you should stick to what I actually write an not what you think I mean, I find that I usually have a better idea of what I mean than 3rd parties do.

Right now, L&D is not functioning as a support forum for anyone due to the ongoing conflict, and in simply throwing out some ideas on how to fix it, I'm being drawn into a fight I've mostly managed to avoid. I'm not hearing anything constructive from you, just misguided attacks on me, which is kind of par for the course for an L&D debate, ironically enough. It also illustrates my point about ineffective means of persuasion; I happen to be largely in agreement with the feminist position, but think I'm feeling very charitable towards feminists right at the moment?

Also, you have an exclusive support forum here, the men don't.



And yours are completely pure and without bias?

I've I'd said "all the sexists have to go!", you'd be applauding my honest assessment and some guy would be filling your role, that's just how tribal feuds work. They're sexist jerks, you're censorious feminazis, I don't really give a flying f*ck, I just would like to see a functional L&D forum.

I never said allow sexism, I said call the mods on the unambiguous stuff and give everyone else the benefit of the doubt, AS is a communications disorder after all. It's this endless calling out and bickering back and forth that ruins the forum, which is why I say move all of that down to PPR, where calling out and bickering is what we do.