Banned Member Thread

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Well, the person I'm talking about used to visit the chatroom regulariy and we would talk on there. I also enjoyed his posts on WP very much. It's not like we became very close to the point where we would exchange contact information, but then he suddenly stopped coming and stopped posting on WP as well. It was a complete surprise for me. I rarely get people's contact information because I rarely use online messengers and keep in touch only with people I know in real life through email.

But I've seen this occur many, many times here. It's true. Usually threads like this start and then the discussion about them continues until a moderator comes in and gives a warning.

I didn't know that I could just PM a moderator and inquire about a specific person. I shall keep that in mind for the future.

You can inquire about anything you like.. I think that if you just PM a mod and say you've noticed that somebody who is usually here suddenly isn't around and you're wondering if they know why, the worst they can say is "I don't feel comfortable talking about that person." Contrary to what some people say, they truly don't bite! I was all timid at first, but by now I'm quite certain that my fingers have been close enough to their faces that they could have bitten 'em off if they really wanted to.

Edit: Wow, I sound like such a suck-up.. I just feel seriously guilty that I believed those rumors at first.

Heh, that's exactly how I've always felt. The mods have always seemed to be really tight on this forum. Thanks for clearing that up!

I'll second that - during my first year here, before I was asked to join the moderation team, I felt awkward at first when I would see an issue... questioning whether I should PM one of the moderators, whether I was bothering them with my comments and concerns, et al. Lau, SinsBoldly, MrMark and Quatermass were all remarkably helpful. That isn't to say I always got the answer I wanted; that's not part of the deal, I'm afraid. But they took the feedback and acted accordingly, which is all I could really ask of them. As a moderator now myself, I greatly appreciate it when a member reaches out with their own concerns or observations. When I teach music, I tell my students to make their mistakes loud and clear - that way we both know what has to be fixed, instead of undue time spent searching as they attempt to hide their weaknesses. Even with the core moderation team and the assistance of a great crew of those who stay more in the background, it takes the support of the community to maintain itself... otherwise, all the effort in the world cannot stem the tides from washing away their efforts.


M.

Ah look at you all... you've made Mak wax all lyrical.

Lyrics? Wax? Careful, you'll pull me off into a morass of tangents there, Lau! (Which then brings me to that oft quoted line from the Simpsons... "That's some fine police work there, Lou." Sorry, no clue how I ended up here.)

Just got that odd sharing impulse... c'est la vie, c'est le moi. (Forgive the butchered French, please.)


M.

I believe it does make sense and it *can* happen, I actually didn't know that a former member that usually posted in the PPR forum with antireligious conviction and stopped posting on the site was banned until there was a mention of him being banned, although I didn't ask, but it never ocurred to me that was the case until I read it.


I was talking about a particular individual (different than the above), I haven't seen that particular member for a while, and *I do not know why* and I don't see much of a reason to believe that individual commited a bannable offense based on latest posts but I can't be sure either of wether there was a ban or not and the issue of asking the question publicly.


That's a good idea.

Last edited by greenblue on 24 Nov 2009, 12:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

Usually, when we ban a member, it is also a case of being the last straw, more often than not.

Actually, the vast majority of bans that I have performed personally are usually spammers spamming designer clothes, or 419 fraudsters (particularly funny are those who PM me. I wonder, why do they come to ME to get banned), not to mention trolls and their sockpuppets who crap up the forums with idiotic messages and disgusting pictures. Very few are mainstream members, and even then, I, along with the rest of the moderation team, give them so much rope that they're more at risk being crushed by it than they are hanging themselves with it, to mangle a metaphor. Believe me, when it comes to your average members, banning is a last resort.

Well, Maggiedoll, thanks for saying it! I agree with Mak's suggestion to pm a moderator if you are concerned. The worst we can do is say we aren't comfortable discussing the particular question. But, personally, I do think those who felt close to a banned member have a right to know, just to clear up any confusion or concern.

We do give long term members a lot of rope. It isn't always all that clear to people on the forums because the worst posts may have been moved or edited, and discussion from their pm's to a moderator may be involved.

And some people will just never see how their own behavior appears to others clearly. They feel they really did nothing at all to break the rules, despite repeated warnings, and I don't know how you ever get it through to them, but people certainly will have tried.

For those who don't know, since I don't wear a badge, I am a moderator here as well. There are a few of us more quiet types with tools.

In case anybody else is wondered:

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't recognize the term.


Well I think not being able to see how behavior appears to others is part of autism.. But anybody who comes here is already aware that they have those deficits, and should therefore be receptive to being told that something came out in an offensive way. Otherwise, why are they here?

bump

That's the catch 22, isn't it? It gets difficult. Sometimes I think they really don't know, no matter how hard you've tried to explain it, which means it is totally the autism, and other times you wonder if they know but are too stubborn to concede it ... which might also be the autism. Either way, we still have to think about what serves the most members the best.

Actually it seems like there's usually a fairly clear distinction. There's less of one in real life/real time, but here there's a delay between thinking something and putting it out there-- you have to type it, not only the beginning of the thought, but the rest of it too. It's not like in real life where the first half of a sentence can already have come out your mouth before you've finished the thought. You can analyze what you're saying, and can apply things you learn in a way that isn't nearly so possible with real life conversations. It's a lot easier to correct mistakes online, especially here, where people actually listen when you go to clarify something.
When someone says that they have issues with something, and then gets angry at someone who puts the effort into explaining it, chances are it's because they have no such issue, but are just trying to upset people. Otherwise they would at least try. You see it played out all the time. Someone says something, and it offends someone else, and the offended person says why it offended them, and the person who said the offensive something tries to find a better way to say it, or asks questions to clarify what it was about what they said that caused the offense. They may even explain why they didn't think it was offensive, and almost anywhere else that explanation would come off as being offensive, but on WP people are able to understand the process. If the person says that they have social issues with no elaboration and simply repeats the offensive thing over again with no attempt to clear it up.. That's the step immediately before they start telling you about the magnificent bridge they want to sell you.