can the popularity contest threads stop?

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Thank you! I have never been nominated for Prom Queen before .
I nominate Emlion for Queen of Cupcakes.


Re the thread stuff, I dont know, I admit that if I am in a situation with witty conversation I immediately get a sensation like someone has hit me in the face with a bunch of wet kelp. My mind is wiped blank of things to say and I end up just saying... something.... which ends up having to be adequate. It is not an easy thing though. I think the best thing to do is just post where it is most comfortable to post. I dont know.

As was the case before, it even reaches into the one place on the forum that one uses to express displeasure about the situation.

The Haven is serious business, the rest of the site gave up that distinction a while ago.

I say ignore the posts you don't like and create your own topics of discussion if there happens to be something you want to talk about.

BTW, Vigilans, PPR is irritating right now with the campaigning. Just an occasional PPR participant's perspective.

You'll have to take it up with the Strident Atheists as I'm not actually part of that group, just an 'associate'

I dont understand.

Seeing as how I'm not an atheist, I doubt they would listen to me.

This sub-forum is not the place for such banter. Especially when it makes fun of someone for expressing displeasure, which is exactly what you and emlion did.

No, I never made fun of her. I like katezfrau and I said so in the post I made on the first page.

I was merely agreeing with Computerlove when he said "If you cant beat it then rig it." And then emlion payed me a compliment so I payed one back.

Then I said that when I am confronted with banter I have no idea what to say, and the best thing to do is post where I feel comfortable. I dont see in here where I made fun of katezfrau and if I gave off that impression then that is not what I was aiming to do.

Look at the 2 posts I made. Where am I making fun of her? She is a very nice member who I remember helping me once in Love and Dating.

If I perceived it wrong, then I apologize. It still isn't the place to be doing it in.

Yes, you did perceive it wrong, apology accepted. But now I feel bad as I wonder if I was a little dismissive about her concerns, I have been feeling better on the board lately but that doesnt follow that everyone is going to.

Yes I do find it to be a high school like atmosphere. It can be a popularity contest. I am never mentioned in threads such as "Who would you want to date on WP" or "Who do you find attractive on WP" "Who do you admire?" "Who is your favourite member" etc.

I have been posting here for 4 years and recently stopped caring about being a sort of fly on the wall here. I dont know. I just post where I want and sometimes people dont like what I post or they take exception to it. But it has always been a pretty conflict filled board.

I have a headache and the whole issue is giving me an even bigger one .

although you may have missed the point, thank you to those that responded to this by paying me compliments. to be clear though, that was not my aim in posting this. nor was my aim to discourage people from socializing frivolously, especially those who do genuinely find that sort of thing too daunting in real life. i should say that twice because undoubtedly someone will read the rest of my post and come to the conclusion anyway that that is what i'm doing. socializing is good (for some of us). all the praise is good. and when someone asks for it they get it. in that way this popularity trend has its positives. it's the 49,930 members who are overlooked who might be more fragile than i who i write this post for. at least let them in on the secret that if they post thirty or forty times a day and whine about not being mentioned they will receive praise too. some of us do not understand this sort of thing unless it is explained to us.

i take no issue with frivolity, unless it is imposed on me when i'm trying to get a serious point across. (a point emlion has illustrated nicely on p. 1.) i have no issue with kittens either, for the record, (despite my protests in previous posts), except when employed as a conversation derailment tactic. being taken seriously when we post is not something that should require a special request.

i have only been here around a year and there is a new set of people who are out of my league socially.

there are lots of people here i like. they tend not to be the people who are fawned over, and i wish the not-fawned-over types would post more and the fawned over types would post less. the board is dominated by the prolific posters and since they happen not to be ones to whom i relate, i am shamelessly sour about it. i am just one person out of nearly fifty thousand members though, and who cares what i think, but if the board is dominated by social banter that is inaccessible or confusing to a lot of us, it is going to cause hurt feelings as some members (besides myself and those who have responded in kind) cannot keep up and many may not say so or even know how to say so. this is like real life - like a random assortment of people. people who socialize in ways mystifying to me are probably rarely ill-intentioned. the feelings of exclusion and frustration come from not understanding why it is so easy for them and eludes me, and from having no idea how people bond that way or what they're getting out of such banter. and when i don't understand, out of concern i am missing something, i wonder if there is a veiled joke at my expense and that sort of thing. i am lucky that i can articulate that, but being able to do so does not demystify any of it at all.



i hope you respond differently if someone is upset by all the suicide posts. that's quite dismissive.



but wait - you ARE the more popular types. don't you understand?

sorry - i didn't think this was a "just chill out man" kind of place.



so i should not expect anyone to take something i post seriously - or respond to it respectfully - unless i post it in the haven?

i'd like to note that this thread has turned into exactly what i'm talking about ..



i perceived it the same way she did actually. i do that in real life and i do that on the board.

maybe this is just a plea to those who are comfortable with flirting and superfluous banter to recognize that nebulous comments, especially if they could seem dismissive of others, should be clarified.

.. and a neighbor's fire alarm has done me in for the night. apologies if i've left a bit undone or been too harsh with my responses.

Again, I apologise if I offended you, Katezfrau. I assure you though that I have absolutely no idea how to banter.

I tend to just recite facts at people, or tell long stories. People dont know this, but I nearly had a panic attack when I saw Emlion's compliment, because I didnt know what to say back and I sat there for about 10 minutes trying to think of something to say.

That can happen quite a bit when I post. People can say something to me and I have no idea how to respond.

I am either monosyllabic, or talk in encyclopaedic form, and neither are good styles for forums. Sometimes I just write the bare minimum because I have no idea what to say.

Sometimes I start to say something and have no idea how to finish it (as happened last night...)

Create your own threads and discussions. This board will only be as good as the people who contribute to it. Once you make that leap of engagement the rest will follow its as simple as that really.

A forum lives and dies by what people are willing to put into it.

that does not bother me. i was just saying that the flavor of the site has changed, and i have no rights to this site so i do not care much. i know i keep disqualifying what i say when i say "much", but that does not "much" matter either. "much" is a very strange word when i say it too many times.




yes i agree it is good and healthy. but it is not my cup of tea. but i have a complete life away from here so whatever difficulties i have fitting in here are not going to affect how much i can afford to eat or whatever.



i am not complaining that i am not heard. no one here has shown me any animosity.

the thing about this site that reminds me of that pub is that i was happy in a group of stable conversational counterparts, and then the doors flew open (almost like an imploding submarine) and in streamed the social "glitterati", and the people i liked were swept off the decks and i held on, and i eventually gave up because what i held on to was a place in space that had changed into something i could not occupy without somewhat negative situational appraisal.

god i am getting to the point where i am going to choke my brain with myriads of alternatives of how to phrase what i want to say. so much so, that what i want to say is compromised to a degree.

but do not worry moog. i have no problems with the current "setup" that will affect me to a sufficient degree to cease participating in any way on this site.





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i confuse you (somewhat) with "wefunction" and i am careful to avoid her.

i have remembered that you have made comments about my posts, but i was not aware that you were inviting a reply from me.

i do not feel it necessary to react unless i am unhappy with what is going on.
it is my problem.



it is difficult for me to believe that you are restricted to the narrow avenues of conceptualization that i am maximally capable of. i do read your posts and they seem to be fluent, and they seem to flow from a place of un-calculated knowledge.
i often understand what you say.
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i did not mean to infer that i thought i was unwelcome. i just told the analogy about the pub to convey the overlap of the 2 experiences. the "union" as it were.

i am not looking for random brains to impress.
i like taking to brains that i am fond of. i want them to hear what i have to say and i want to hear what they have to say. if i am not interested in someone, i will communicate only the barest minimum in the circumstance that i have to talk to them.[/quote][/quote]


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"left out" of what? i have no feelings of being "left out". i could not imagine what that would feel like anyway.
i just think this place has changed and i am no longer as attracted to it, that is all.

my real life is not affected because i am busy.



i can not "blend it" as you suggest. in fact i have trouble understanding you so i will decline from responding further to your post.

i am going to now play a tune i have been thinking about all day.
see ya

thank you for replying.

not sure why i quoted this part. really there's nothing to say about that - i respect her a lot so if i am mistaken for her it can't be a bad thing in my mind.


makes sense, but it also shuts down dialogue. i was trying to express that if it is a connectedness you seek, people will only meet you halfway.


i often understand what you say, also. not really sure what you meant by that. you and i do not interact in the same way, but that doesn't make either of our approaches or input less valuable.

i am definitely fluent in writing, as are you.

i have a strong instinct ot try to help and support people, and so i tend to attempt to engage people in a lot of threads when they are seeking advice etc. i would hardly think that is the same thing as engaging in flirting or banter (wefunction doesn't do that either, so if you can see that she and i may be similar, then i think you already know that we are not the people who do interact in that way).