Women's forum

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So ? If a topic that caused you considerable grief is not discussed frequently enough for your tastes, what stops you from creating such a topic yourself ? Is your intention for objecting to a personal women's forum solely to stop other people from having access to something that was denied to you in the past ?

And, NO, I don't get your point in enlarging my "I"s. The "I" was not intended to be a singular, personal "I", but as a stand-in for the collective. I am sure if the women objected to me talking for them, then they would have made it obvious in their posts to this thread. Most, on the contrary, agreed, and the strongest objections have been from the men. So, no the demand was not - per most of the other women - unreasonable.

That's a curious method you have for putting words I didn't say into my mouth. I no longer have the need for a closed forum on mens issues nor am I trying to obstruct the existence of a closed womens forum. I just think there should be a complimentary mens forum with incredibly strict rules so it didn't turn into what I heard it turned into last time. As a 13 year old boy I wouldn't want women to be able to know about my personal issues about why I'm suddenly getting erections and that sort of thing. I didn't know anything about sex, my parents were worthless in that department.

You explained this perfectly. I was writing out a long response to this last night when the thread got locked. I think the problem is basically that people interpret the purpose of the section in different ways.

Men are allowed to post but they are not supposed to participate freely like they would in other parts of the forum. They are expected to use their own judgment to know when to post or when not to. This leaves a lot open to interpretation, and different people have their own ideas about what should be allowed or not.

I agree that if men want to ask for feedback from women, ideally it would be better if they do that other sections of the forum. But from what I've seen, they are indeed allowed to ask questions there if they want. This leaves the section open for pervy things like the guy who wanted to know if we enjoy our boobs.

Men have also been participating freely in threads started by women, even when it is obvious that the OP is asking for feedback from other women. I find this very intrusive, but it seems like this is also allowed.

When I post in the women's section, I expect to see responses from other women, because that's what women's discussion means to me. It does not mean discussing women, it means discussion FOR women. I would only want to see a post from a man if he has something really remarkable to say on the topic. And I believe any posts from men should be very tactful and considerate, since they are interrupting a discussion they were not invited to.

I also assumed that when women post in the women's section, it's because they mainly want to talk to other women, not to men. If women want men to participate freely, there's the whole rest of WP for that. So I figure they are posting in the women's section for a reason. But sometimes when men start participating, some of the women encourage it. So it changes from being a women's discussion, to being a men-and-women's discussion, which is not what I go there for.

When men start jumping into a discussion there, it really puts me on edge because - unless it's a really kind and thoughtful post - they are intruding where they don't belong so it comes across as really confrontational and aggressive. That may not be the intent but that is how it looks. It's like having a man suddenly walk in the women's restroom...it's startling and I don't know why he is there, but I can only guess it's probably not for a good reason. It immediately puts me guard up just like anything else that is out of place or does not belong.

I think men in general are not always good at following the nuances of a discussion among women and knowing how to comment. Here it just seems ten times more problematic since many posters really struggle with things like tactfulness and nuance. Some are great at following definite black-and-white rules but not so great at understanding shades of gray. Allowing guys to post in women's discussion, without stating clear and definite examples of what is allowed or not, puts the burden on them to figure out what is acceptable. Some probably just do not have the knack for it.

I just had an idea. We need a girls and boys closed subforum based on puberty issues like what you want for your daughter and the resource I wish I had. Only kids and verified veteran parents that are known and trusted by the community would be allowed in. Women giving information to girls, men giving information to boys. I don't even think this would be a problem for the wider range or gender people as we're all born biologically with a male or female body and most of the questions would probably be addressed at the biological issues arising from puberty. Could even still have the open womens forum. Adults don't need a closed forum, as has already been stated just report inappropriate posts.

Too bad the site doesn't have the member base or traffic to support my above idea .

This is good to know. I don't think it's clear to everyone that this is how it's intended to function.

Exactly what I have been saying. I feel the exact same way about it.

It's not restricting the entire forum, just a small subsection.

I don't think this is a good idea. I don't like sexism. I view it just as I view racism. If a person is disrupting or being disrespectful, then the necessary actions should be taken.

Most men already know about periods and other female functions. It might feel awkward for you to speak about them in front of men, but if it's that much of an issue for you, then you should refrain from speaking about those things anywhere online, especially when you know that setting up something for women only would be the first place that a person would go who had the intentions of preying on women, or simply trolling them.

We have a world which contains males, females, genderfluid people, agender people, transgender people, intersex people and so on.. People of all different varieties also have different personalities and different needs. There will always be jerks and perverts, of all different shapes and sizes.

A man wanting to be involved in a discussion about periods could be a single father... he could be a transgender male who still menstruates, but would obviously have his gender listed as male, because he is a male. You don't know someone's personal situation, and they should be given a chance, rather than being banned right from the start.

I find a lot of what's been posted here about both men and women to be stereotypically judgmental... I feel like we keep going backwards with all of the segregation, lately.

The changes that need to be made are that people be more respectful, on all sides. Not that we divide off into smaller and smaller groups, where we can all feel "safer" with our own kind. I feel the same way about having an LGBT forum. We don't need it. We need to treat humans like humans and learn to look at each person individually.. not as part of a common stereotype.

Agreed. Everything I needed to know about the menstrual cycle I learned in high school and university biology classes. Everything I know about the experience of menstruation I learned second-hand from three sisters, two wives, a mother, and a large number of female cousins, friends, and acquaintances. Of course, none of this makes me an expert on the subject; but even an auto mechanic who doesn't own a car can still learn a lot by listening to people who do own cars, and by driving other people's cars, especially if he has done it on a daily basis.

Also, there are any number of medical websites with pages devoted to the menstrual cycle and the problems thereof. Even Wikipedia has at least one well-written page on this topic.

So why the concern over an open discussion of women's health and reproductive issues? They're no more "sensitive" than men's health and reproductive issues. Take the digital prostate exam, for example. It's uncomfortable to even think about; but every man over the age of 35 has had at least one. The laproscopic catheterization procedure is no picnic, either. Both of these make me nauseous, urination is uncomfortable for at least a day, and sex is out of the question for maybe a week.

In my opinion, discussing health and reproductive issues of both sexes honestly, openly and respectfully is a long step toward diminishing the embarrassment of these subjects, and removing the social stigma of discussing them - no more whispers, no more shame, and no more "nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more" from adolescent pervs.

And that's what we all want, isn't it?

Laughing my goddamn ASS off.

I don't give a flying one how many women a man knows who has told him what she goes through -- NO MAN can EVER actually know ANYTHING near like what it actually feels like to own the equipment.

CORRECTION -- not just own the equipment -- BE the equipment.

The car and mechanic analogy isn't even apt. We women ARE the car. So you know what's it's like to drive a car but not what it's like to BE the car. And what a horrible, non-human simile you create to describe our body processes.

No man knows what our processes are truly like. NO MAN. Sorry, but that is BS of the first order. And that's all I have to say about that. LMAO. Seriously. That is fcked.

Compare: "Well I'm neurotypical but I've known lot of autistic people and I pretty much know what it must be like to be autistic." Riiiiiiiight! SUuuuuuuure.

Last edited by BirdInFlight on 25 Jan 2016, 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm confused about this analogy. What does "driving other people's cars..." represent. The mental image I am being led to is somewhat cringeworthy.

Ok. How about both a men's and a women's forum? I know that's already been proposed, but I think it's fair. That way each gender has a forum.

And instead of restricting people of the other gender, the forums should have different rules from the other ones. The rules would be enforced by moderators, and it would be up to the individuals to report rule-breaking. I know this has also been proposed.

For instance, the rules could be:

1. No sexist generalizations about the other gender and no sexist remarks in either forum.

2. A person of one gender can not come into the other forum and minimize or trivialize the problems of the opposite gender. For instance, statements like:

"Women with autism have it so much easier because they can get laid," would be a prohibited comment for a man to say in the women's forum.

And "Men should stop whining about being virgins, it's not a big deal," would be a prohibited comment for a woman to say in the men's forum.

Obviously, this is not a complete outline of what rules there should be. But if enough people think that there should be a safer forum for women to discuss women's issues, then I believe this is a rational solution.

Again, these ideas aren't mine, most have already been proposed earlier in the thread. I just thought I would mention it again.

This way each gender has a safer place to discuss gender-specific topics, but nobody is being excluded and neither gender is receiving special treatment.

Interesting logic, you acknowledge that a certain type of predator may target a group of women, but you think women should censor themselves rather than taking measures to exclude predators.

The point was already made, but I'll repeat it...the purpose of the women's forum is for women to talk to other women. It does not matter what the topic is, it could be periods, it could be clothing, it could be childcare, or it could be football or cars or anything else we want to talk about. The purpose is to be able to say what we want to say without having men involved in the conversation. If men want to be involved in a discussion about periods, there are other places in the forum for that.

I'd rather say that, that way, for each gender, there's a forum it does not have. The whole point is to exclude.



Note you don't really need to say that. Just point out that they can and do usually have sex, while it's much less common for autistic men to find a willing partner, without making any claim as to who "has it worse", and even admitting women may be worse off in other ways, and you'll be immediately demonized as the worst misogynist in the world, by putting words in your mouth and never acknowledging what you actually said. If facts are misogynistic, I think we have a problem.



Not much to gain with that---I still expect to hear it all the time. You can't force others to care about your problems, or even to acknowledge them. They have a right to think the only problem is that you're a p**** and to voice their opinion.



I've never found woman-free places to be particularly safe in any way. In fact, traditional woman-free places were not supposed to be safe. That's why they were woman-free: women can ordinarily produce one offspring each nine months, so they had to be protected; meanwhile, since any man could impregnate them, you might as well make that a privilege of the very toughest---hence, men are the expendable sex.

That's an opinion not a fact.

It's not a fact, it's your opinion. I disagree with it. Your unwillingness to consider that you may be wrong is a problem for me. Tbh, I don't know whose having sex and I don't care.