Reasons Aspies don't join/leave WP?

Post Reply New Topic

Would it be fair to summarize this view as "Site not condusive to forming social connections"? I'd use the phrase "forming personal connections", but I fear some readers would read it as meaning someting else.

If I leave WP, it will be because of all the judgement and assumptions that people throw out about other autistics (all the BS about functioning levels is the best example, but there are many subtler ones) -- they are ridiculous, in some cases extremely prejudiced/bigoted, and in many cases very hurtful.

I haven't been posting much lately, and since we're nearing the end of the year and this time is supposed to symbolise happiness, I've decided now would be a good time to "make it official".

I'm leaving the site and I don't think I'll be coming back. In 2012, when I first signed up under my old account, this place was extremely helpful to me. I participated in some great discussions, learned a lot, met some good people and slowly formed my own opinions about issues related to Autism.

However, Wrong Planet is no longer helpful to me in the slightest. Each and every time I come here, I end up leaving feeling angry and depressed, even on one of my good days. Every time I visit the site, the same repetitive threads can be seen on issues discussed a thousand times before. The overall negativity of the site is too much for me to handle too, and at a time when my depression is worse than it has ever been before, I just don't need this.

I have formed my own opinion on the tired old "cure" debate, and instead of going through life hating myself, I have made the conscious decision to embrace the positive traits both directly and indirectly linked with my Aspergers Syndrome and view my difficulties as challenges to overcome. Apparently, my decision is a problem for some people. I've seen threads outwardly attacking those on the spectrum who oppose a so-called "cure" and ridiculous claims, such as the claim that anyone who opposes a "cure" isn't really Autistic, etc. Well, who the hell are you to judge and why the F**K should I have to justify a single thing to you?! If I state my opinion about something that affects me personally, it is not your bloody right to have a problem with my personal opinion on that.

The presence of some pretty obnoxious members is tolerated here too. One person goes around saying that Autism should be "cured" - fair enough. However, he also claims that we shouldn't receive any support, which essentially means: "Autistic people should suffer through terrible lives without any help until someone finds a way to wipe them from the face of the earth". In my opinion, this kind of attitude is not acceptable on an Autism support site, nor is trying to convince people who view themselves and their Autism in a positive way that they shouldn't, as this is an attempt to lower members' self-esteem. It saddens me that such people are allowed to post here, and even more so that moderators think that civilly stating exactly what these people are doing is not acceptable here.

Issues such as age discrimination aren't dealt with harshly enough here either. I've had someone apologise for my actions while speaking about me in the third person here. I've never been so insulted. Totally dehumanising, disgusting behaviour.

The site is now far too big to be considered a community. Not a lot of people know each other, there aren't really a lot of strong friendships here. Having been here for about a year and a half, there are still active veteran members with hundreds of thousands of posts I've never even seen. It's just too big and fractured for a lot of friendships to be formed nowadays.

I know that a redesigned WP is coming soon, and although that won't directly change the membership, the feel of the site might be different. Still, the dynamic of the forum would have to change significantly for me to want to post actively again.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me here. I wish you well.

The site is now far too big to be considered a community. Not a lot of people know each other, there aren't really a lot of strong friendships here.

There are the reasons listed above, but animalcrackers makes a good point about the offensive assumptions made about people's functioning levels, and some members *COUGH*Fnord*COUGH* are extremely hostile towards self-diagnosed people.

Self-Diagnosis can be used as an excuse. It shouldn't be, but it is.

Anything in the world (including an actual diagnosis, bad luck, or even blond hair) could potentially be used as an excuse. Doesn't mean it's fair to be hostile towards people merely out of prejudice.

If I have grounds to support my theory, then screw it, I will be hostile to them. Same with anyone else that uses a disability as an excuse. Same with anyone that blames blonde hair as an excuse.

I agree completely, Kuribo. I was self-diagnosed myself when I first came here. Luckily for me I don't live a place where getting assessed is extremely expensive. That's not the case for a lot of people here.

I find the bashing of both self-diagnosed aspies and NTs to be far too prevalent on here.

I'm not leaving, but I'm less invested because of the attitudes here.

I don't feel as though I could turn to the forum for help in my biggest problem areas right now, which are school, social, and work settings because I feel as though most of the answers would be NT-bashing or ASD-glorifying and only increase my anxiety and discomfort in social settings. If I'm coming home feeling as though my efforts have been in vain and my mask transparent because a coworker said I talk about weird things, I don't need to hear blah blah blah NTs are horrible hypocrites anyway blah blah blah they hate everything different blah blah blah groupthink requires you to be evil blah blah you're better off without them. Blah.

The help I receive from NTs or people with non-ASD diagnoses right now reinforces a sense of there being multiple perspectives and benign reasons for behavior, which makes me hopeful about re-entering difficult settings, adjusting, and pushing forward. Coming home, it was helpful to hear that others don't feel that way about me and to discuss the number of (sometimes conflicting) opinions out there when it comes to appropriateness, fun, and connection, anyway. I don't want to hate me and I don't want to hate NTs, society, or anyone else.

Anything in the world (including an actual diagnosis, bad luck, or even blond hair) could potentially be used as an excuse. Doesn't mean it's fair to be hostile towards people merely out of prejudice.