can the popularity contest threads stop?

Post Reply New Topic

Hey, good re-enactment! It actually made me realise why people get upset (up until then, I hadn't really noticed the issue, apart from the notorious appreciate/flirt/whatever threads

I'm not defending anything. I'm saying if someone doesn't like the type of threads that are available to post in, they should make new ones.

The rest of what you said here is just absurd to me. Sorry.

I'm sure a few people have seen the statement I made about feeling like an "outcast among outcasts". Well the popularity contests and the recent cliquey behavior of this forum is to blame. It seems like you can not get the support that WP is supposed to provide without being in the popular group. This is one of the reason's that I do not participate much. Why participate in a discussion and try to get support when you are just going to be ignored? I have even contemplated leaving WP because of this. I think that this behavior needs to stop and the rules be revised to disallow anything of this nature. Just my two cents on the subject, sorry if I have offended anyone.

I quit caring about this back in 2007. Problem solved.

You can't choose the people that are around you in here, so, why care so much?

Amen.

Well, I have been here since 2007 and popularity threads and clubs and groups have been forming since then.

I remember I2 and ZOMGaspies being formed in 2007 as the result of 2 big groups forming. It is something that I have seen happen over and over again.

There was one such proliferation of "appreciation threads" in 2008 that I remember.

So this stuff is nothing new, but the question remains, is how to make the board a better place for people from all walks of life.

What would be good is if the people feeling left out would say what sort of threads they want to see more of, and what would make them feel included.

Last edited by zen_mistress on 20 May 2011, 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Way to paint me as hostile. I've said plenty on this subject, but you never seemed to actually get what I said.

Thread jacking is bad, but if a thread does not break the rules (and it's been stated already the popularity contest threads do not) then censoring them just pisses people off.

Asking that they don't dominate the forum is perfectly reasonable. Telling people they should stop with them altogether because it hurts some peoples' feelings is not. What if we were to do that with every subject that hurt someone's feelings?

There wouldn't be anything safe to post.

The solution is then, clearly, to encourage those hurt by the threads to post their own threads and as a mod just make sure they don't get out of control.


I realize I'm just a lowly member on this site, MidLifeAspie, but I do have experience with this sort of thing. I know what I'm talking about, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

You are no more a lowly member than I.

I know you're no longer a mod, but that doesn't change the fact that you have more influence than I do.

Lets move away from how little insider thread diversions become part of the problem. I realize that is a sticking point for some members and it is more of a gray area than starting a "post your favorite member" thread, or an "I love X member" thread.

But on the later I can be clear: they are exclusive and, by that fact, harmful to the most socially impaired members of our population. We should NOT consider it "OK" for the "in" crowd to promote itself on this board any more than most of us grew up thinking it was OK for the "in" crowd in High School to completely dominate school social life.

This is NOT a, "learn to ignore it" situation, nor a "post something yourself, instead" situation. This should be the ONE PLACE someone who struggles socially should NOT have to "learn to ignore" feeling INTENTIONALLY left out, and should NOT have to learn to assert themselves over the dominant majority in order to feel included.

When you create a thread to acknowledge your friends, you are INTENTIONALLY leaving out those who are not your friends.

I find that completely counter to the stated goals of this forum, regardless of the fact that the site owner sees no reason to stop it. As a member, *I* see a reason to stop it, and I'm voicing that opinion.

No one means to be hurtful, I totally understand that. But that does not mean you are not BEING hurtful, no matter how difficult it is to see.

So take it upon yourselves to purposefully INCLUDE those you see in threads that you aren't super close to. Just be nice. Make an effort. Be the person you wish the high school cheerleader had been.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 20 May 2011, 11:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Those threads are not exclusionary. Everyone is free to post in them, and indeed many of the 'unpopular' crowd has.

I'm certainly not saying anyone's feelings are invalid. However, this actually *is* a case of "learn to ignore them" and/or "post something you want to discuss".

This may be a support forum, but catering to everyone with hurt feelings will only hurt the site.

thanks! personally, i think the threadjacks are a problem, even if they are a grey area.

i figure that many members must feel ignored and overlooked when they post in threads that are diverted by the more popular group. formerly useful and informative and helpful threads become filled with multiple pages of banter and memes and inside jokes that the rest of the board can't relate to.

there was one time a week or two ago when i did ask people to please stay on-topic in a thread and they did so very nicely, but it was hard for me to speak up (and i am not shy or reticent by any means). i felt like i was going to the table of popular kids in the cafeteria and asking them to quiet down in front of the whole student body.


about the threads that are person-specific or oriented to posting about favourite members, i think that is also a problem. i would not be butthurt at all if those threads disappeared. it's embarrassing to say this, but if i am not mentioned i feel a little left out. i imagine everyone feels that way, like they are sitting alone at the school dance just wishing someone would come over.

it might not be against any rules, but i think those threads promote the idea that we should strive to be as "hot" and as popular as possible, which is kind of a weird focus on an aspie site, comsidering most of us don't ever experience anything like that in real life.


the strangest thing to me is that most members who are part of that inner group don't even seem to realize their place. a few weeks ago when people were speaking up about the "cliques", it seemed to be a shock to most of the clique that thye could ever be considered a cohesive unit or that they were some kind of "in crowd".

makes me wonder about real life - do the kids at the top of the social pecking order ever realize their placement compared to other kids, or do they all feel like misfits like the rest of us?

Including those who are not capable of this kind of interaction, right? Or those who try to join in and keep being ignored? Where should they go?


Just like they're being told IRL to learn to ignore bright lights or loud noises and just grow a thicker skin. Since you're able to do something everybody else will be, right?


You don't decide this. Should we only only cater to a selected few? Or maybe to the majority and just leave the lower functional ones fall through the cracks? They surely would do just fine if they would try harder. If you're not concerned about other people's feeling that's fine, but some of us take the time to talk to them and understand the extent of their impairments and struggles. That's why we care.


Are you sure it doesn't break the rules, why don't you take a look at the ToS under "spamming"? So we should ignore a few people's hurt feelings but give maximum attention to those who get "pissed off" when asked to respect the rules, ergo not go off topic, not start pointless threads and not post for the sake of posting? It's all here http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt12459.html and we don't even enforce the rules against spamming accordingly.

There already are several threads for chatting, random posting etc and some of them were stickied because we wanted to offer the more social members a place to express themselves. The moderation team did its best to accommodate these needs, but they are not the only needs around and we also have a responsibility towards the rest of the membership. We don't want to punish or stifle any one, we just tried to raise some awareness because we thought most people are not malicious or intentionally exclusive but might not realise how their behaviour affects others. Some won't care anyway as long as nobody spoils their fun, but others might still remember how hard it was for them to feel ignored and dismissed and try to find a compromise instead of getting defensive and treating the forum as their playground.

They're incapable of someone naming them? *confused*



Um... I didn't say that. Besides, someone can learn to wear sunglasses to help with light sensitivity and something to muffle loud noises. It's their problem, and they need to find a way to handle it without making everyone around them conform to them.



I don't recall deciding anything. I've observed firsthand how people react on this forum when the rules change right from under them because someone didn't like what they did.

As for you saying I'm not concerned with others' feelings... um, what? I believe I said the exact opposite. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be taking the time to debate this issue. I would have just read the thread like I do all the others here and moved along.



Since when is one or two threads where people name others they like 'spamming'? *confused again*

I don't have a solution, but I can add that I loathe those threads. I quit visiting the Members Only forum because of them. I do think they are pretty spammy as well, since their only point is to--*thinks of a more polite phrase than the one that immediately sprang to mind*--pat each other's backs.