09 Aug 2020, 11:21 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
I believe a lot of this is tied to how we're generally poor at integrating ourselves and others socially. How often do cats form herds?
Unfortunately this means even if we're in circumstances that might enable social behaviour we still struggle to actually do it because we're inherently untrusting of our ability to do it and the motives of the others we encounter. We're hesitant to do the things that people do to integrate themselves (like sharing about themselves, for example) and this means the longer term members don't really get to welcome new posters.
When new posters delve into some areas like L&D or PPR they get drawn into divisive conversations that tend to encourage them to become integrated with only a portion of members and generally they represent an ideological bloc to some extent. This might explain part of the polarization effect that people describe. The only positive of becoming involved in this aspect is that those threads do contain a fair bit of personal banter and chatter, so they get to know people.
When they start participating in the games they don't get to know the other players because those threads are usually pretty 'on-topic' with little banter. Unless they start to explore further they'll never really get to know anyone else as a person.
Many of us have had bad experiences with trying to participate in groups and this tends to encourages our asocial traits because they protect us from further bad experiences to an extent. Even though we rationally understand that this place is filled with people kinda like me, it's hard to overcome this conditioning. I believe that even if we were to hold some sort of physical meetup there would likely be a lot of wallflowering and hesitancy to mingle.
It's not that we can't integrate and don't feel the need for socialization, it's just that we're less that properly equipped to pursue those needs.
Unfortunately this means even if we're in circumstances that might enable social behaviour we still struggle to actually do it because we're inherently untrusting of our ability to do it and the motives of the others we encounter. We're hesitant to do the things that people do to integrate themselves (like sharing about themselves, for example) and this means the longer term members don't really get to welcome new posters.
When new posters delve into some areas like L&D or PPR they get drawn into divisive conversations that tend to encourage them to become integrated with only a portion of members and generally they represent an ideological bloc to some extent. This might explain part of the polarization effect that people describe. The only positive of becoming involved in this aspect is that those threads do contain a fair bit of personal banter and chatter, so they get to know people.
When they start participating in the games they don't get to know the other players because those threads are usually pretty 'on-topic' with little banter. Unless they start to explore further they'll never really get to know anyone else as a person.
Many of us have had bad experiences with trying to participate in groups and this tends to encourages our asocial traits because they protect us from further bad experiences to an extent. Even though we rationally understand that this place is filled with people kinda like me, it's hard to overcome this conditioning. I believe that even if we were to hold some sort of physical meetup there would likely be a lot of wallflowering and hesitancy to mingle.
It's not that we can't integrate and don't feel the need for socialization, it's just that we're less that properly equipped to pursue those needs.
Very well put indeed. Bonus!
When it comes to:
funeralxempire wrote:
When they start participating in the games they don't get to know the other players because those threads are usually pretty 'on-topic' with little banter. Unless they start to explore further they'll never really get to know anyone else as a person.
With word association games each word a person posts posts gives a sense of character that as natural tendency tends to evolve from time to time from single word posts to informative statements, jokes and stuff, and for myself as finds writing a massive strain the word games are so much more easier.
Word games are also really therapeutic for linguistic aphasia (not being able to remember or use words) after seizures as they help me reframe the linguistic networks, so rather therapeutic, fun and nice way to meet and get to know people without any effort, stress or strain being involved with communication difficulties all that.
_________________
I reserve the right or is it left to at very least be wrong
Last edited by Deepthought 7 on 09 Aug 2020, 11:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.
funeralxempire
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Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,202
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09 Aug 2020, 11:25 pm
Deepthought 7 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
I believe a lot of this is tied to how we're generally poor at integrating ourselves and others socially. How often do cats form herds?
Unfortunately this means even if we're in circumstances that might enable social behaviour we still struggle to actually do it because we're inherently untrusting of our ability to do it and the motives of the others we encounter. We're hesitant to do the things that people do to integrate themselves (like sharing about themselves, for example) and this means the longer term members don't really get to welcome new posters.
When new posters delve into some areas like L&D or PPR they get drawn into divisive conversations that tend to encourage them to become integrated with only a portion of members and generally they represent an ideological bloc to some extent. This might explain part of the polarization effect that people describe. The only positive of becoming involved in this aspect is that those threads do contain a fair bit of personal banter and chatter, so they get to know people.
When they start participating in the games they don't get to know the other players because those threads are usually pretty 'on-topic' with little banter. Unless they start to explore further they'll never really get to know anyone else as a person.
Many of us have had bad experiences with trying to participate in groups and this tends to encourages our asocial traits because they protect us from further bad experiences to an extent. Even though we rationally understand that this place is filled with people kinda like me, it's hard to overcome this conditioning. I believe that even if we were to hold some sort of physical meetup there would likely be a lot of wallflowering and hesitancy to mingle.
It's not that we can't integrate and don't feel the need for socialization, it's just that we're less that properly equipped to pursue those needs.
Unfortunately this means even if we're in circumstances that might enable social behaviour we still struggle to actually do it because we're inherently untrusting of our ability to do it and the motives of the others we encounter. We're hesitant to do the things that people do to integrate themselves (like sharing about themselves, for example) and this means the longer term members don't really get to welcome new posters.
When new posters delve into some areas like L&D or PPR they get drawn into divisive conversations that tend to encourage them to become integrated with only a portion of members and generally they represent an ideological bloc to some extent. This might explain part of the polarization effect that people describe. The only positive of becoming involved in this aspect is that those threads do contain a fair bit of personal banter and chatter, so they get to know people.
When they start participating in the games they don't get to know the other players because those threads are usually pretty 'on-topic' with little banter. Unless they start to explore further they'll never really get to know anyone else as a person.
Many of us have had bad experiences with trying to participate in groups and this tends to encourages our asocial traits because they protect us from further bad experiences to an extent. Even though we rationally understand that this place is filled with people kinda like me, it's hard to overcome this conditioning. I believe that even if we were to hold some sort of physical meetup there would likely be a lot of wallflowering and hesitancy to mingle.
It's not that we can't integrate and don't feel the need for socialization, it's just that we're less that properly equipped to pursue those needs.
Very well put indeed.
When it comes to:
funeralxempire wrote:
When they start participating in the games they don't get to know the other players because those threads are usually pretty 'on-topic' with little banter. Unless they start to explore further they'll never really get to know anyone else as a person.
With word association games each word a person posts posts gives a sense of character that as natural tendency tends to evolve from time to time from single word posts to informative statements, jokes and stuff, and for myself as finds writing a massive strain the word games are so much more easier. Word games are also really therapeutic for linguistic aphasia (not being able to remember or use words) after seizures as they help reframe the linguistic networks, so rather therapeutic, fun and nice way to meet and get to know people without any effort, stress or strain being involved with communication difficulties all that.
That's fair and I'll concede that I'm not very familiar with that side of the site so if my perspectives are skewed any insight others can offer is appreciated.
envirozentinel
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Gender: Male
Posts: 17,226
Location: Keshron, Super-Zakhyria
09 Aug 2020, 11:30 pm
10 Aug 2020, 1:13 am
hurtloam wrote:
All the new users really need to do is comment in threads and we'll get to know them better.
blazingstar wrote:
^ perhaps that should be mentioned then in the welcome threads? I think some new people might be shy, awkward or in crisis. They might need some encouragement to post.
Starting a conversation is for some Auties and Aspies like as if daylight, garlic or holy water to vampires!
Sometimes threads do not get going for days or weeks until the first response is made, and on one of the other sites we make an effort to at least state hi and profess our ignorance on the topic to get things going. Sometimes a few posts turn into more posts slowly and progressively or else there have been loads of people waiting to post and the pages fill quickly, and everything else inbetween.
_________________
I reserve the right or is it left to at very least be wrong
10 Aug 2020, 9:02 am
I hope Blooie is not saying that my digressions have no purpose 
I’m probably “walking into something”—but I like Blooie too much to really mind that.
The story of my life: walking into things—literally and figuratively.
10 Aug 2020, 9:17 am
10 Aug 2020, 9:25 am
10 Aug 2020, 9:32 am
kraftiekortie wrote:
I hope Blooie is not saying that my digressions have no purpose
I’m probably “walking into something”—but I like Blooie too much to really mind that.
The story of my life: walking into things—literally and figuratively.
I’m probably “walking into something”—but I like Blooie too much to really mind that.
The story of my life: walking into things—literally and figuratively.
LOL no! As usual humans think they are being looked at in a way by others that they arent..
I was thinking of myself n how i start linking things to random anecdotes which are loosely linked and turn it into something else. And in the moment feel it was relevant and neccessary
Only a few days or hours later do i think wait why did i even say that?
10 Aug 2020, 10:07 am
10 Aug 2020, 11:49 am
Fnord wrote:
Maybe new members are expecting a much more enthusiastic welcome...
"Ohmigawd!! You're here!! You're really here!! This is sooo amazing!! I'm really excited you're here and I can't wait to see another post from you!! ... et cetera.
"Ohmigawd!! You're here!! You're really here!! This is sooo amazing!! I'm really excited you're here and I can't wait to see another post from you!! ... et cetera.
I know you're being overly sarcastic, but I wouldn't have minded that kind of welcome.
I don't remember what kind of welcome I was expecting. I just know it wasn't particularly overwhelming. Not really sure how to make new members feel welcome. I know I see most of them for a day or two, then the majority of them just vanish.
10 Aug 2020, 11:53 am
^posted as the wrong user. my "1963" account was mistakenly banned for a day or two, then reinstated.
10 Aug 2020, 11:56 am
Steve1964 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Maybe new members are expecting a much more enthusiastic welcome...
"Ohmigawd!! You're here!! You're really here!! This is sooo amazing!! I'm really excited you're here and I can't wait to see another post from you!! ... et cetera.
"Ohmigawd!! You're here!! You're really here!! This is sooo amazing!! I'm really excited you're here and I can't wait to see another post from you!! ... et cetera.
I know you're being overly sarcastic, but I wouldn't have minded that kind of welcome.
I don't remember what kind of welcome I was expecting. I just know it wasn't particularly overwhelming. Not really sure how to make new members feel welcome. I know I see most of them for a day or two, then the majority of them just vanish.
After a look at your posts , you jumped straight in without introducing yourself to anyone , your first post was a reply to Fnord. It's not a good look here and can be misinterpreted
ha ha just saw your Steve1963 post , forget what I said
Last edited by Oh_no_its_Ferris on 10 Aug 2020, 11:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
10 Aug 2020, 11:59 am
10 Aug 2020, 12:02 pm
10 Aug 2020, 12:04 pm
10 Aug 2020, 12:05 pm
