Is there a protocol for dealing with problem moderators?

Post Reply New Topic

OP Says"
Does any1 think Aspie men struggle with women as much as...

people here assert they do? Most of the posts here are depressing and sound hopeless. Since they are, it's making me doubt myself and feel worse about my chances with women. Most of the posts here are members saying they might as well give up and feel that they'll always be single. That, or being unable to shake their desperation. They also talk about the tendency of girls they seek friendship with to ignore them. I hope that this isn't true for all Aspies (everyone is different) but too many posts suggests these shortcomings."


Valentine Wiggins says
" The people who hang out all day on an internet forum whining are by definition a specific subset of a group.
The most charismatic person I've ever dated had Asperger's, and he had no shortage of success in the dating department. I think men and women in general have different dating challenges, and those challenges are exacerbated by Autism, but "who has it worse" is nothing but a p!ssing contest with subjective criteria which helps absolutely no one. If we want to be able to relate to one another better, we should be talking about fighting gender roles, not hating the opposite sex because they've been handed a different script within that context."

Fracc says
"I never had a problem with girls. The problem I see most people having is wondering what "the rules" are when there are none, and women won't find you sexy if you're having to ask what's appropriate. Wiggin's self-selecting forum whiners too. If I left the house I wouldn't be here."


Can you not see he is agreeing with Wiggins saying there are by definition a subset of a group making hte OP depressed?

Well I think we're about done here.

Fraac, you've been told repeatedly to take any issues you have with moderators to Alex.
Do that now.

Since I was an active moderator during situations when Alex did censor and/or fire moderators, I thought I might have some useful input for this thread and asked for permission to share it despite the thread’s otherwise “locked” status.

I have not followed the specific situation in this thread, but I haven’t read anything unique in the discussion. The reality is that there will always be members who disagree with moderation decisions and who feel that certain moderators may be biased against them. I have not seen a single moderator who never encountered resistance and never encountered complaints, and I could make your head spin if I listed the things that have been said about me. But I do know this: each moderator I have worked with has tried very hard to be fair, and has been willing to admit when they make mistakes in judgment. Will you see all those admissions? Probably not, but that doesn’t make them any less real. Moderators discuss judgment calls all the time, and will even change their minds in the face of well reasoned arguments, but there is a protocol and process for it that has already been explained in this thread.

If you disagree with a call, explain yourself to the moderator who contacted you, but make it good. Because moderators are volunteers, they don’t have time to engage in endless back and forth that amounts to little more than “you’re wrong” and “you are an awful moderator.” You need to be specific and well reasoned in a counter, and withhold private attacks. Make ONE good appeal for your post, and you might actually get listened to.

If you continue to disagree, you can ask another moderator for review. All this, “how do I know whose ally they are” is ridiculous; while moderators have to get along, given that they work together, they can and do disagree with each other, and will work out those differences – when they exist – between themselves. I have reversed decisions after questioning from other moderators, and I am not the only one to have ever done so. If you don’t see the result you want, it will because the moderators simply disagree with you.

Remember that the vast majority of moderation decisions are judgment calls, and it takes time and care to make them. I know it is frustrating to express yourself and have it censored, but it isn’t that big a deal in the grand scheme of things; the world isn't going to end over a post. Most people just accept that it was the call of moderator to make, even if they disagree, and move on.

As for when to involve Alex and when that might be successful, I would not expect Alex to interfere or even read comments about what is being censored, in general. In my experience, having been here when several mod blow ups happened, Alex isn't going to get involved at that level for the simple reason noted above - its not a big deal. What he'll care about is moderators going past their regular authority (moving posts, issuing warnings, banning spammers, or banning members for consistent rule breaking), into the territory of messing with accounts, creating frequent flame wars, or banning for mostly personal reasons. If someone feels they have had their account messed with, or experienced otherwise inappropriate behavior from a moderator - things that consistently go beyond a judgment call on the TOS - THAT he'll be on top of, and he won't hesitate to de-mod the person. He'll also hear petitions from people who feel they have been unfairly banned and has been known to reinstate members, overriding the ban set by a moderator. But disagreements about if a post crosses the line or not? No, he is unlikely to get involved at that level; the authority has been delegated.

If there are specific types of moderation decisions that seem inappropriate, they can be discussed in WP Discussion. These types of discussion can and have changed the tone of moderation in the past. An example might be if suddenly people were getting warnings for using the word, "blue." They could post on the board, "I don't see how the word "blue" violates the TOS. If there is a strong pattern of inappropriate judgment there, it would come to light, and the variety of opinions would then be known to the moderators and to Alex. I can assure you, moderators can and do take the opinions expressed in such discussions to heart.

Alex has generally been aware of the level of complaints that exist against moderators, and the reasons behind them. But this is what members need to remember: there has never been and never will be a moderator that every member likes and feels exercises perfect judgment in all situations. That just isn't possible. If Alex wants to have any moderators at all, he can't spend a lot of time second guessing over every little thing that may not have occurred perfectly, and he doesn’t. He focuses on the big stuff, and being censored over something you wanted to post just isn’t at that level.

The same is true for the moderator team: unless someone wants to work solo and do all the work, they have to show respect for the decisions made by their fellow team members, as long as it falls within the realm of a reasonable judgment call.

No one is going to censor moderators just because they make unpopular decisions on select posts, and there are plenty of ways to get that discussed and reconsidered within reason. But, in general, as a member you should accept the guidance and move on. These are posts on a message board; it isn't that important in the big scheme of things.