Regarding the "dangers" of enforcing the rules: I certainly wasn't suggesting a dogmatic approach. What I meant is that we (or the mods) should be careful with cherry-picking who we make allowances for and who gets treated more harshly or taking a personal or ideological dislike to someone and either participate in or turn a blind eye when they're being bullied or insulted.
I also don't agree that autistic people can't understand and follow the rules, since it's not a problem on other autistic forums, especially when they get some guidance and assistance from the mods.
I don't see any rule against asking "stupid" questions and I don't agree with harassing people based on suspicion, particularly new members. With the former moderation team, I was encouraged by one of them to report suspicions privately since he had the means to make further investigations or at least to keep an eye on the person until he could make up his mind. As Isabella said, someone who has experience with that kind of stuff would be a great addition, as it happened quite frequently in the past for members to make public accusations of sock-puppetry or trolling and be wrong about it, while actual offenders managed to fly under the radar.
And I'm still a big fan of self-moderating and I agree with the post Isabella made a couple of pages ago (sorry, can't quote). People should stay out of the Haven if they don't have anything nice to say, as for the rest of the forum, people who can't stand each other or are incapable of engaging in a civil exchange (happens to all of us), should learn to stay away from each other instead of having the same fights over and over again. Leaving aside that cookie-cutter advice is generally bad as we often can't fully understand others' personal circumstances, this is also a pragmatical POV: no matter how valid your advice might be, nobody will ever change their ways or views because someone on the internet is pestering them or downright accuses them of being lazy, "wrong" or much worse. I also dislike seeing people leave or get banned because aggressive or argumentative members are allowed to follow them around or even bait them until they lose their cool. And while some do that kind of stuff because they seemingly can't help themselves, IMO others have been taking advantage of the situation to get rid of those they dislike or disagree with.
These last couple of weeks I've been irritable as hell due to the heatwave so I just stopped posting as I knew I can't fully trust myself to not take it out on some poor bugger. There are a couple of people here whom I never, ever engage since I know from experience it doesn't go well. Others, even if they obviously can't stand me will respond in a civilised manner and that's also fine: not everybody will like or agree with you and as far as I'm concerned, that's mostly a plus, not a minus.
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"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley