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blooiejagwa
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18 Aug 2020, 7:46 pm

Fnord wrote:
Should we praise parents whose stated intent is to provide the best possible education for their children, even though they may have bribed, coerced, and even blackmailed university admissions officers to do so?

Should we praise the mothers who want to protect their children from the awful state of the World, even though those mothers may bludgeon, choke, drown, shoot, and stab their children to do so?

Should we praise the fathers who only want to spend more time with their children when those fathers kidnap their children and take them far away from their mothers?

Should we praise congregations for their faith in G^D when they rely so much upon Him to heal cancers, viral infections, and other treatable conditions that many of them and their loved ones die from lack of medical treatment?

It seems naive to claim that any one of these "praise-worthy" people should be given a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card just because we imagine they have good intentions -- it is the other side of the same coin when we condemn someone because we imagine that they have bad intentions.


this reminds me..


(trigger warning)

in the town where i lived here once - where i only spent 1 year when i was 15 but got my most sincere friends -

my friend told me last year .. i guess it had been on her mind a lot...
there was a girl who moved there after i'd left, and they became friends, girl had lots of friends, etc..
v educated, v beautiful (to me anyway), v talented/skilled and accomplished.

she also did things like volunteer work at women's shelters, write books, etc.
basically her H divorced her and took their daughters to another country (which i'm pretty sure is illegal in Canada to do that)
and after that she tried to carry on for a few years (did her volunteer and charity work, etc)

but last year committed suicide.
my friend was feeling very guilty.
but i told her it was the H who removed the mom of his kids from his kids' lives, and did that to her too ...
for no reason except to hurt her...

basically the girl's life, he ruined ,AND his daughters'... and no accountability..


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Last edited by blooiejagwa on 18 Aug 2020, 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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18 Aug 2020, 7:47 pm

I believe in the “glass half full” theory....unless proven otherwise.

Others can believe what they want.

And yes......I also believe in a healthy skepticism.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 18 Aug 2020, 7:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Brictoria
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18 Aug 2020, 7:49 pm

Fnord wrote:
Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature, nor any ultimate evaluation of human nature beyond that which we project onto others, individuals may only be judged or defined by their actions and choices, and not by what we imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


It's a shame these sentiments aren't followed by people when discussing controversial\political issues\figures in news or PPR forums...



Fnord
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18 Aug 2020, 7:49 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
in the town where i lived here once - where i only spent 1 year when i was 15 but got my most sincere friends...
^ So should that man be judged "Good" for his intentions to provide a better life for his daughters, or should he be judged "Evil" for the way his actions ruined the life of their mother?


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blooiejagwa
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18 Aug 2020, 7:51 pm

Fnord wrote:
^ So should that man be judged "Good" for his intentions to provide a better life for his daughters, or should he be judged "Evil" for the way his actions ruined the life of their mother?


his intention was not to provide a better life. otherwise he would have stayed and kept the mom in their lives. like any good father. also he moved them to the middle east so she couldn't follow easily or know where they were...why would he do that when Canada is a million times better in every way possible.
also she earned quite a lot of money so staying with them and dividing the costs would have been good too.
his intent WAS evil and that WAS the result.


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Last edited by blooiejagwa on 18 Aug 2020, 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Pepe
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18 Aug 2020, 7:52 pm

Fnord wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I feel like we should take each case individually.  But, in general and in most cases, what I said applies.
Is it safe to assume that you have lived a very sheltered life?


It's good to see the diplomacy course you completed is paying dividends. :thumright:



Brictoria
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18 Aug 2020, 7:52 pm

Fnord wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
in the town where i lived here once - where i only spent 1 year when i was 15 but got my most sincere friends...
^ So should that man be judged "Good" for his intentions to provide a better life for his daughters, or should he be judged "Evil" for the way his actions ruined the life of their mother?


Or should the intentions and the actions be judged individually?



kraftiekortie
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18 Aug 2020, 7:52 pm

I happen to believe in actions over words.

I just believe in judging people LESS HARSHLY when good intentions are KNOWN.



blooiejagwa
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18 Aug 2020, 7:53 pm

Brictoria wrote:
Fnord wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
in the town where i lived here once - where i only spent 1 year when i was 15 but got my most sincere friends...
^ So should that man be judged "Good" for his intentions to provide a better life for his daughters, or should he be judged "Evil" for the way his actions ruined the life of their mother?


Or should the intentions and the actions be judged individually?


the intentions and actions in this case were in harmony.


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Oh_no_its_Ferris
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18 Aug 2020, 7:56 pm

Fnord wrote:
Oh_no_its_Ferris wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I happen to believe known good intentions should be praised.....or at least those with good intentions should be treated less harshly than those with known bad intentions.
'Presume good intent' is an insight Dr Tony Attwood (and John Elder Robison) shared in how to approach most matters... interactions...
Which is great advice 99% of the time but it leaves many on the spectrum open to abuse if you don't have a healthy dose of reality. It is very rare that the 1% join WP but they can and do. ( I don't believe anyone like that is currently on the site )
It seems fair to say that it is likely neither Attwood, Robison, nor even Blooie have ever been sexually molested by someone within whom they presumed good intent when he offered them free candy...


I would hope not. For me it was an offer of a game of cards at his house :(
I was referring to WP with my opinion , I would guess percentages would be different IRL.


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Pepe
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18 Aug 2020, 7:57 pm

Fnord wrote:
domineekee wrote:
Amity wrote:
For self moderation: Everyone needs to familiarize themselves with the rules, especially veterans, any thoughts?
I just went to check the rules to see if ad hominems are allowed but couldn't find them.
There is no rule against the use of fallacies of reason, spurious logic, or false data.

:( Unfortunately.


And no rule against the intention to deceive, I imagine.
A bit hard to prove toxic attitudes. 8O

Blunt honesty gets a whacking though, eh, Fnord. :mrgreen:



kraftiekortie
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18 Aug 2020, 7:58 pm

I was molested once by a man. He held me onto a bed, and had his way with me. Fortunately, he didn’t “go all the way.”

I was also stabbed in the head once.

My point is not self-pity. My point is that I believe one can transcend one’s origins and one’s bad experiences. One’s origins and one’s experiences are not the death knell for a person.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 18 Aug 2020, 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IsabellaLinton
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18 Aug 2020, 8:01 pm

We can't presume to know anything about other members or the lives they've led.
It can be very hurtful to assume some people are more privileged than others.


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Last edited by envirozentinel on 19 Aug 2020, 6:44 am, edited 1 time in total.: quote removed

Pepe
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18 Aug 2020, 8:02 pm

Teach51 wrote:
I am in favour of everyone checking their own behaviour. There is nothing more important than how we treat each other. This is fundamental for our well-being and for us to thrive. I think Steve 1963 is my "man of the week" for apologising to Fnord. This is manhood at it's very best.

For Steve's magnificent apology :heart:



I agree.
People should show their "manhood" more often.
Errr. :scratch: :mrgreen:

Fnord wrote:
An Oxford Comma is a comma placed immediately after the penultimate term (i.e., before the coordinating conjunction, which is usually "and" or "or") in a series of three or more terms.


Isn't he dreamy? <sigh> :heart:
What an intellect. <sigh some more>



Last edited by Pepe on 18 Aug 2020, 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

blooiejagwa
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18 Aug 2020, 8:03 pm

have to get used to all kinds of personalities in order to improve understanding of people and life (from hearing their experiences, styles of communicating, and views) ... which makes us better people.



blunt honesty or abrasive or complacent
or mellow or kind or humorous or a mix...


always find something relevant here to understanding/getting on with ppl in my daily face-to-face interactions...


my relationship with my middle brother has improved dramatically actually and he is a lot like Fnord (way he communicates, thinks, broad but with intentional limits in place , questioning, no-nonsense etc)

he always gets in arguments with my mom...
i prevented one yesterday..

using skills i've acquired by observation and osmosis... here :lol:


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kraftiekortie
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18 Aug 2020, 8:07 pm

It’s all a big balancing act.

I have a long way to go in being good at navigating people and how to get the best out of them.

There are times when I’ve been an abject failure....but this happens less frequently as I get older.