Community Dynamics

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Erm, she was implying that I was making a dig at her rather than making one at me. And there would be many ways to respond to it Moog, unless of course you're just being immediately dismissive.

People read what they want and ignore genuine questions, including mods so there is no point in debate.

I can quite understand why some members want to chat in the Adult forum rather than random discussion. The chat can take on a more adult nature and have more sexual innuendo and flirting than would be appropriate for the random forum. Nothing wrong with that in the right place.

A suggestion: If someone wants to create a thread in Adult that they intend to be serious and not chatty and they would like to stay on topic that they append a suffix to the subject line "On Topic". That clearly flags the thread and there can be no misunderstanding. Moderators would feel comfortable removing none-topic posts or simply moving them to a 'Chat' thread in the adult forum?

It seems to me that 90% of the threads in Adult aren't that serious anyway and they centre around chatting tangentially about whatever the subject is supposed to be. So I make this suggestion to flag the remaining 10% of the topics "On Topic" rather than default to all threads being "On Topic" unless marked 'Chat'?

What do others think? Would this work? I'm looking for solutions here, not more conflict or flaming.

You didn't answer my other points, so am I to assume you are dismissing the rest of my post?

Marking serious threads as "Serious replies only" or some such would be a solution, but then it kinda gives the impression that serious threads are out of place there.

My view of the Adult forum is that it is rather like an adult pub / bar. Some of the conversation is serious but a large proportion of it is social in nature. I've just glanced down the first page and I'd say that less than half of the threads could be considered serious. I take your point though. The Adult forum seems to have evolved into two functions - adult socialising and adult related questions, typically but not exclusively related to sexual matters. The two functions coexist side by side within the same forum and we need a way to make that work rather than for the mods to get heavy handed trying to make the forum into one or the other. The forum is what the members have made it, which is not necessarily how Alex intended it years ago when he was a teenager!

I have an idea. A lot of members will have a big problem with this but I'll post it anyway just in case.

How about those who want to have some fun with each other by flirting and bantering and what have you go to my forum and post their chatting there in the appropriate section (The Bar) and, when they want to post about something serious pertaining to adult issues and such, they can post here in the Adult Issues section.

We can make it in a way that there's some form of connection between WP and my forum as if they're the same forum in a sense.

I mean, we might as well do just that if we want the problem to be solved and if I want to get my forum to have a better chance of being active.

The forum name can always change so "Men and Autism" doesn't need to remain as it is. And that way, my forum solves two issues instead of one.

What do you guys think? I'm aware that many will have a problem with this, but post your opinions anyway.

No I didn't moog, I'm on a mobile phone which makes it difficult to type out long paragraphs and if i'm not responded to (see hypothetical question in this thread as example) why should I bother responding?

I keep making them, and people keep ignoring my posts. If you actually read them you will see i'm not backing all the people telling others to "suck it up".

Yes, I did read your last post and agreed with what you said (mentally at least), sorry for not making a post to that effect straight away. A thread in the Adult forum dedicated to new members would definitely be a step in the right direction. Something like "New members say 'Hi' here" It could even be a sticky at the top of the forum?

I think such a sticky is something we could do immediately? Anyone got better suggestions for the title other than "New members say 'Hi' here" ? Lets do this today! Any dissenters?

Abaisse made a 'meet and greet' thread recently, so I'd sticky that if you think it fits the bill.

That looks good to me! My only doubt is the title, I don't think it would hit new members in the eye enough. It needs to be obvious. With Abaisse's permission I'd like to make the wording of the title open for debate. Suggestions on the table at the moment are:
1. New members say 'Hi' here
2. Adult Issues Meet & Greet

3. Come and Introduce Yourself - Adult Issues Meet & Greet
4. Adult Issues Meet & Greet - Feel free to join in and say Hi


I dunno....IMO it has to be an encouraging/inviting/reassuring title, one that convinces the new members that the social circles there are open and accepting.

My only reservation about the phrase "meet and greet" is that some may think it is talking about real world meet-ups between members rather than a thread for new members to post to introduce themselves in the forum. Another suggestion:

5. New members welcome! Introduce yourself here.

If you want it to be more effective, allow each member to mention some of his struggles as an adult with autism and without shame. Gets the more intimidated autistic people more interested in participating when they can relate to each other more. Works wonders.

That sounds good. Mods will certainly not stand in the way of any such disclosures. Encouraging members to make personal disclosures may be more of a challenge though! One thing the mods can do here is jump on anyone who is mean enough to mock members who make any intimate or embarrassing disclosures though.

6. Introductions Thread. Say "Hi" and join the chaos!