Deleting profile

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It seems I am not suited to friendships of any type, or maybe I misjudged people. I thought perhaps, as a highly introverted person who needs a lot of alone time, I would find people who understand here, but it seems that even those with Aspergers need daily and ongoing socialisation. I am getting so stressed out not only because I cannot get my alone time or think time or head space but also because I am not getting time to work on my studies and am falling so far behind it is becoming impossible to catch up.

I made a friend here but they seem to need constant daily chit chat and I am now having a huge meltdown because I cannot cope with it. I am beyond exhausted and I feel ill because of it. They also keep pressuring me for a relationship and I am not seeking a relationship at this time because I want to focus on my degree. Nor do I wish to move in with anyone (something else they keep asking me to do...I have only known them for a month or so and have never met them in person! Its just a bit much).

Now I have to hurt their feelings and I feel awful but I cannot maintain this friendship.

I have also decided that I should not pursue friendships of any kind at all. There are times I do feel social and can feel slightly lonely but every time I make friends it's a disaster because they need more from me than I can give them. I am better off alone.

How do I delete my profile please?

My favorite kind of friends are those I can talk to every 3 to 6 months and we pick up right where we left off like its no big deal. Grabby people just make me want unplug my phone and hide in the closet.

If you need a friend that doesn't mind distance and spans of time, I'm sure some here are like that. Make it known you can't handle social pressure, those are the kind of people I'm, and others, are looking for.

But if you must go, good luck out there.

You can't delete your profile, you can leave the forum and not log back in again or ever come back.

This.

Made a friend recently who kept sending me pictures of her cat after I told her I hate cats. More than one per day. And when we started talking, she was going through something--I sympathized with her. But then every week when we'd meet up, she'd start going off on that again. Fine. But she kept addressing the same "stupid detective" that she was having trouble with and that she was NOT taking the steps to address. Also, she kept saying, "enjoy your vacation" whenever I would leave campus for home on weekends, even after I explained that it's pretty much the opposite of vacation. I am alone in my room at school, but I share my home with two other people. I also do a lot of homework on weekends. So, I stopped responding, and I just delete the texts now.

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to wp.net)

The answer to your question is in the FAQs:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3870313.html#3870313

There are people out there who need a shoulder to cry on every minute of the day. They find anyone they can find who will listen to them and go on and on, while showing little interest in the other person. They might as well put a mirror on the wall and talk to it.

I think aspies are at greater risk to attract these kinds of people. Many of us have a hard enough time just starting a conversation, it can be even harder to shut one down if they just want to rape your ears.

I know some people like that. They leave voicemails I don't listen to, they send me email forwards (really annoying), and evey once in awhile I get a text that says, are you mad at me? I don't have the heart to tell them I find them whiney, invasive, draining to even think about, and I wish they'd just quit haunting me. I think if I'll ignore them they'll dry up and blow away, but that seldom works.

I feel your pain.

It will be sad to see you leave i have rather enjoyed reading your posts. Its interesting the friends i make here sometimes we dont chat for weeks n weeks on end. im not really sure if you can delete your profile. maybe just not log on again who knows maybe one day you'll decide to come back i do that with neopets O.O

I will just leave for a while then.

I am trying to study for my degree at the moment and also have physical health problems (amongst everything else to deal with). I am not well and have been feeling particularly bad recently. I have waited 10 years to get back to doing my degree after spending much of that time looking after a disabled mother (I started a degree 10 years back but had to leave before completing to care for my mum and other family members) and completing my degree this time is important to me.

Anyway, I cannot make this person understand that I need to study and that, whilst I am having health problems and am trying to study I do not want a relationship as I am not really well enough to take one on. I also never want to live with someone as I am not fond of traditional relationships, I have always been miserable in them. Academically I am an A average and, when well enough, I really wanted to pursue a career...I will never be able to do that if I do not study. Trying to be friends with this person has pushed me so far behind with my work I have had to start asking for extensions as I am not able to meet deadlines (this has never happened with me before...I have ALWAYS made deadline) and it is starting to affect my academic performance.

In short the friendship is making me beyond miserable and is making my health problems worse...I feel down right ill.

They too are doing a course but did not complete their first assignment at all even after being given an extension...I do not feel they take education seriously.

When I pointed out that if I did not study I would fail they said 'Never mind you still have me". But I don't want them and certainly not at the expense of my degree. I am a high grade average and the idea of spending my life stocking the shelves at tesco whilst going home to play house maid to a man kills me inside. It is a nightmare to me not something I desire. It is also a complete waste of my ability.

Sometimes I really am beginning to wish i had been born with a penis...If i were a man, id probably have my academic career by now. If I had been a boy my mother and other family members would not have pushed me into giving up my degree the first time around to care for my mum because I was the girl in the family.

I really do not mind having friends who understand that I need my alone time and that I also need to study, but I find most people too difficult to cope with and I am tired of people who think that my degree is unimportant.

I really just want to be alone with my studies right now...at least I am happy when I am studying. It is the only time I can really be myself. It's more than just a qualification it is the love of my life. I have always loved academics...always. Even as a young child I was enrolled at school early because the school my parents took me to thought I was so bright and curious that they wanted to start my education as soon as possible. I loved learning back then and I love it now.

But I get so depressed over people trying to pull me away from it all the time. Even my therapists seem to think that I should leave the degree as they consider studying stressful. I find dealing with people stressful not the studying itself...I have always had a natural affinity for it and it's always given me absolute pleasure.

I think I need to just be alone with my academics for now before I lose my chance to do my degree completely (my financial situations means I have to rely on funding and if I fail modules left right and centre my funding will disappear).

Thank you for the replies.

Precisely this.