Should we add another forum specifically for aspie parents?

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Should there be a separate forum for aspie parents?
Yes 65%  65%  [ 17 ]
No 27%  27%  [ 7 ]
Undecided/whatever 8%  8%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 26

MsTriste
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03 Mar 2007, 2:27 am

As an aspie parent, I find it hard to get the support I need. There are forums for NT parents of children with ASD, but they face many different issues/paradigms than those of us who have ASD and are needing help/support parenting our own ASD or (in some cases) NT kids.

I know there are a few of us out there, and some of us would really like to be able to meet these people in a supportive environment (the parent's forum sometimes is not).



joku_muko
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03 Mar 2007, 2:31 am

Before I vote whats wrong with just the parents forum?



MsTriste
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03 Mar 2007, 2:47 am

aylissa wrote:
As an aspie parent, I find it hard to get the support I need. There are forums for NT parents of children with ASD, but they face many different issues/paradigms than those of us who have ASD and are needing help/support parenting our own ASD or (in some cases) NT kids.

I know there are a few of us out there, and some of us would really like to be able to meet these people in a supportive environment (the parent's forum sometimes is not).


I don't want to be politically incorrect, so will just answer your question by repeating my original post.



joku_muko
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03 Mar 2007, 2:57 am

Ya, guess I just don't understand the need to split up the forum. I'm not an AS parent so maybe I'm not understanding. I wont vote since I don't understand.



KimJ
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03 Mar 2007, 3:16 am

As an atypical parent, married to another one (I"m sure we're both autistic) I find the Parent Forum supportive enough. We have all sorts of parents and even aspie teens chiming in. Sometimes there are communication issues, when NTs think we're too blunt or stubborn. 8O Overall, though, I like the mix and if you read enough, you'll figure out who you can trust and who you have read with a grain of salt.



postpaleo
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03 Mar 2007, 5:26 am

Guess I didn't understand what was wrong with the one that is already up. Could you perhaps define Supportive a little more?



MishLuvsHer2Boys
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03 Mar 2007, 8:24 am

I myself would prefer to have an Aspie parents forum, being an Aspie myself and also being worried about talking about not desiring a cure for myself or my children, I get intimidated to post on forums where there are a lot of parents that do biomedical interventions and all that I really don't care for.



Graelwyn
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03 Mar 2007, 10:48 am

I can understand this...there will be different issues if one is a parent who has aspergers themselves, I believe, and i think a subsection of the parents forum would be a good idea in that sense.


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larsenjw92286
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03 Mar 2007, 11:42 am

No, I thought we already had one.


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MsTriste
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03 Mar 2007, 3:54 pm

"Define unsupportive"

These responses speak volumes.



lau
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03 Mar 2007, 7:57 pm

I think there has been a misunderstanding. Unfortunately, aylissa, I think you worded the question less than clearly. I have no direct interest (not being a parent myself), and I only looked in the the thread because I wondered why someone was asking to set up a forum that already existed.

I can fully see now, why you would like a separate forum for Aspie parents. Unfortunately English being the stupid language it can be at times, I read that to just mean "parents of Aspie children", as in "Cow herders", which one would never misinterpret as "Herders who are cows".

Mind you, then I'm stuck. It sounds really contorted, but the split you are after would be "Parents of Aspies" and "Parents who are Aspies".

Agh. Do you stop there, or do you have a third one, for "Parents who are Aspies and also have Aspie children". Then mix those all with Autie variations?

----------

I've changed my mind. I withdraw my "Yes" vote and go for a "No" vote. I have that feeling(?) that the whole place could become too divided.

---------

Oh rats! I can't make up my mind. Back to the "Yes" vote. You do know what you're talking about and I don't know what I'm talking about.



alex
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03 Mar 2007, 8:34 pm

we already have a parents forum! you can talk about issues there or even in adult asperger's forum


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Flagg
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03 Mar 2007, 9:27 pm

alex wrote:
we already have a parents forum! you can talk about issues there or even in adult asperger's forum


Read the opening post please, it's a bit more complex then that.


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larsenjw92286
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03 Mar 2007, 10:54 pm

Oh, so you think there should be a forum for AS parents!


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lau
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04 Mar 2007, 6:41 am

alex wrote:
we already have a parents forum! you can talk about issues there or even in adult asperger's forum

As Flagg has already pointed out, alissa's opening post does say, and my earlier post, I hope, elaborated a little: there is a problem. :?

The more I think about it, the more I understand her point.

The problems faced by parents who happen to have AS are almost totally unrelated to those experienced by NT parents of AS children.

They may have trouble with normal(?) parenting skills, when there is a world of literature out there on the subject, plus counseling, and so on. Some of it just may be useful.

They may also happen to have AS children, which is likely the SIMPLER situation. Chances are that they get along with each other pretty well, and have more understanding of each other than NT/NT!

The worst problem that I can see is where you have a parent with AS trying to cope with giving an NT child as "normal" an upbringing as they can.

How do they even approach it? E.g. As soon as any "emotional" question is raised by the child, the AS parent is likely to switch off. Even if they don't, they probably haven't got a clue what the child is talking about. If they don't freeze, and they know what is being asked, etc, where do they go to find the answer?

I've looked for books aimed at adult Aspies - few and far between. In the course of that, I don't recall a book titled "How to cope with all those times when your child asked/does something that you are pretty sure is perfectly normal, but being AS, you have forgotten the way you are supposed to respond/react".

I'll venture some shorter titles for it:

"Child rearing for Aspies"

"The joys of parenthood, by A.N.Autie"

"Coping with NT children"

I like this last one. It speaks directly to us. It also might fool NT parents of NT children (who don't know what NT means, in the first place) to pick it up and learn something. :)

Back on the subject of yet another forum: I'm not really the one to decide how good aylissa's idea really is. I can only say that I sympathise with her predicament.



KBABZ
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04 Mar 2007, 7:15 am

I think what alex or someone else would point out is that the parenting forum is for ANY parenting problem, whether it be an NT trying to get to grips with how their Aspie kid behaves or whether it's an Aspie parent who can't relate to their 6 year old girl.

I do not know how the Parenting forum 'feels' when you're there (each forum feels different from the other in a way), so I also don't know if that could contradict my previous statement in some way.


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