Soliciting WP members.

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Based on some current threads, I think No Soliciting (ask for or try to obtain something from) WP members, should be added to the rules.

Asking for advice and info is one thing, soliciting WP members for money and services is another. Especially when it involves safety and privacy such as someone enticing members to meet them somewhere and asking for something that would necessitate in them giving out personal information such as their name, home address and phone number.

I think this sort of rule is especially important considering most WP members have autism and some people with autism are often susceptible to being taken advantage of.

Agreed, and well said. It's a difficult issue, but the fact that such topics usually result in lockdown, deletion, and warnings is evidence that they're not appropriate to begin with, and rarely lead to any kind of productive result.

It's true that we encounter such solicitations outside of WP, and to some extent it's the individual member's responsibility to follow safe internet practices, and exercise caution in getting involved with anyone personally. But since WP has a rule against advertising to other members, I don't think it's unreasonable to add soliciting to that clause.

I could be wrong, but I think I've seen topics locked/deleted, in which people were posting links for GoFundMe. Granted, those tended to be new users, joining for the sole purpose of soliciting. It's a more delicate issue when it comes to a long-time member, and the solicitation is more vague, and the post is partially appropriate. In such cases, a clear 'no soliciting' rule could help to move the discussion in a more productive direction.

I am all for trying to help WP members who are struggling with serious real-life issues. But something is wrong when we see a repeated pattern of people trying to help, becoming frustrated, and ultimately receiving a disciplinary warning, while the person 'pushing their buttons' is allowed to continue his behavior, for years on end.

I think a No Solicitation rule is warranted, and frankly needed at this point.

I would be in favour of that too. It might also make the mod's job a little bit easier in those cases to have a specific rule rather than having to treat them as inter-personal squabbles.

A related question on this issue: if a member has a long history of soliciting, guilt-tripping, and berating WP members for their inadequacy in providing assistance - often resulting in high levels of frustration, members being warned or banned, and the topic being locked... Is it right that the solicitor is free to start a new identical topic, but members are technically not allowed to warn others of what happened in the last one, since that would be discussing a locked topic?

It might not be that we need a rule against soliciting (though I would still be in favor of that) - but that what we have here is an isolated case of one member, continually asking for real-life help, who has a long history of what is essentially dishonesty - claiming that he has no ability to contact a social worker or seek help from local organizations, when in fact these resources are available to him, and he chooses not to make use of them.

The problem might not be soliciting per se, but ultimately lying, by misrepresenting his circumstances - which is essentially internet fraud. It's not right, especially perpetrated against a community of autistic people, who naively want to help, then spiral into a meltdown, because they lack the social intelligence to simply walk away from the frustrating situation.

I do care about the member in question, and wish him all the best. But his behavior has gotten to the point where he is misrepresenting his circumstances, and preying upon gullible autistic people, causing undue distress to members of this forum. (Some of whom seemed to be banned at the moment, and can't speak out on this issue.)

I would urge the moderators to consider any new request from this member for in-person help, to be 'discussion of a locked topic', and thus against forum rules. And I apologize if that comes across as cruel and heartless, but the needs of other WP members matter as well, and the constant guilt-tripping and harassment needs to stop.

I really don't understand why a particular problem was allowed to keep happening so many times, when it's caused so many problems.

Is it really fair for members to get warnings on their record and even bans for posting in threads that should have had a stop put to them a long time ago? It almost seems like an entrapment type situation.

Well, ultimately we are responsible for our own behavior, and the 'correct' thing is to not allow someone to push your buttons to the point that you're breaking rules and getting yourself in trouble. But like you said, autistics can struggle with such extreme frustration that in the heat of the moment, we simply don't care if we get banned, it's just wrong and we're going to say so!

Though on the other hand, it provides us with a good opportunity to learn self-restraint, which is not a bad thing. My main objection to his threads is that he's not forthcoming with the details of his situation, causing a continual wave of newcomers to waste their time researching and offering advice that he's already rejected a dozen times before.

I agree people have to be responsible for their actions. But if a situation is created and then allowed to continue, in which people act in a way that they don't/wouldn't normally act outside of that situation, and they get penalized, that seems kinda like entrapment.

Like so in so was penalized for what they posted on page 14, 22 and 29 of a 35 page thread that should have been locked before it even got to page 14. Especially when staff states it's something that has been going on in cycles for years and therefore they already know how it's going to go.

Would it be considered solicitation when members make post in L&D trying to find other members to have a relationship with I've defiantly done that more than a few times.

Good question, Nick, and one that I don't have an answer for. (I agree with Ezra's above comment too.) The reality seems to be that seeking in-person contact with WP members is okay in some cases, but crosses a line in others. And everyone probably has a different opinion, of where that line ought to be drawn.

But I do feel a line has been crossed, for years, in this particular case, and it's time to stop going around in circles with this specific situation. And in reality, no actual rule needs to be changed. I think the mods have given a generous amount of leniency to this particular user, out of concern for his difficult circumstances, but it's gotten to the point where he's repeatedly inciting drama and causing distress to other members, and rules need to be enforced more strictly.

I think I know what you're on about.
Yes, I think there should be a rule put in place.

Is someone asking for money?

I don’t ask for more then advice and dating writing ad help.