PM Etiquette

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naturalplastic
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08 Jun 2019, 3:08 am

Fnord wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Fnord wrote:

As I understand it, The Rules apply to PMs just as they do to posts, although it is entirely up to the recipient to report offensive PMs to the mods.

I think it could help to have a sticky outlining etiquette as it pertains to PMs to refer people to. I received a rude PM that wasn’t offensive, so I’m not going to report it. Wouldn’t you say that members are under no obligation to respond to unsolicited PMs, especially when they haven’t talked to the person before?

No one is under any obligation to respond to any PM, whether solicited or not. How can a "rude" PM not be "offensive"? I report all PMs I receive that are irritating, offensive, rude, or just plain weird. Maybe that's why I receive so very few of this kind of PM.

That last sentence is self-contradictory. :lol:

If you get enough that you need to report them on a regular basis - then you get far more than most people get (ie you don't get "very few". You get "a lot" despite reporting). :lol:

Not that a person shouldn't report them. Just that you're arguing against yourself here.

SaveFerris
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08 Jun 2019, 7:01 am

naturalplastic wrote:

If you get enough that you need to report them on a regular basis - then you .........

Need to ask yourself why :scratch:

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TwilightPrincess
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08 Jun 2019, 1:24 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

If you get enough that you need to report them on a regular basis - then you .........

Need to ask yourself why :scratch:

Did I miss the post where someone said that they get abusive PMs on a regular basis?

Fnord didn’t say that he gets “a lot” of them. He just said that he reports the ones that he does get.

Since I first joined WP, I’ve only gotten rude PMs from a couple of people - obvious trolls who aren’t regular members and one who has joined the ranks of those who must not be named.

In my case, the rude PMs usually come from someone who I’ve chosen not to respond to (and usually haven’t talked to before!). People seem to think that they’re entitled to a response when they send someone a PM out of the blue.

I guess it’s just hurt ego.

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SaveFerris
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08 Jun 2019, 1:33 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

If you get enough that you need to report them on a regular basis - then you .........

Need to ask yourself why :scratch:

Did I miss the post where someone said that they get abusive PMs on a regular basis?

No posts have been deleted from this thread AFAIK , WYSIWYG, you are not missing anything , no one said they get abusive PM's on a regular basis.

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TwilightPrincess
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08 Jun 2019, 1:42 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

If you get enough that you need to report them on a regular basis - then you .........

Need to ask yourself why :scratch:

Did I miss the post where someone said that they get abusive PMs on a regular basis?

No posts have been deleted from this thread AFAIK , WYSIWYG, you are not missing anything , no one said they get abusive PM's on a regular basis.

What does WYSIWYG mean?!?! LOL

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SaveFerris
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08 Jun 2019, 3:52 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

If you get enough that you need to report them on a regular basis - then you .........

Need to ask yourself why :scratch:

Did I miss the post where someone said that they get abusive PMs on a regular basis?

No posts have been deleted from this thread AFAIK , WYSIWYG, you are not missing anything , no one said they get abusive PM's on a regular basis.

What does WYSIWYG mean?!?! LOL

WYSIWYG =What You See Is What You Get

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TimeBunny
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08 Jun 2019, 5:02 pm

Hmm... I am new here, but a Veteran from another site, which I no longer belong to.

I strongly recommend not bothering the MODs if you have any other means, block buttons or whatever to get rid of whomever you don't wish to talk to...no one is obliged to talk to anyone if they don't feel like it.

MODs deal with Huge numbers of people and in my experience tend to view anyone who adds to their Vast work load as a problem regardless of the reason you (bothered) them.

PMing is how you make friends, what I generally try to remember to do, is ask permission to chat in the first PM

If I get a Yes...then we chat as long as it is still wanted.

If I get a No!...I apologize for bothering them promptly end and erase the conversation thread, I am not sure how that works here on the menu's yet, still figuring the buttons and options out myself!

Skirt Trolls, and Troll Flamers, and Creeps,..block if you can...report if you have to....just remember my advice!

Some of those Trolls are real good at dodging blocks on sites by changing names, I have one on tumblr that I blocked like 20 times, so I just ignore whoever it is, if you talk to them at all they just get worse.

On the other hand....I have had some lovely PM friends for years...it is a way to find new friends!

You can try to ask for PM rights in posts, but that is iffy, they may not re-read that and miss it, and you could set off a jealous friend, who then starts Troll Blocking you to take out the romantic competition… some people are real messed up on that sort of thing... the less game they have... sometimes the worse they behave... Sigh! o___o
A person who knows their own value... doesn't need to do such things!

TwilightPrincess
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08 Jun 2019, 5:33 pm

TimeBunny wrote:

If I get a rude PM that was unprovoked, I’m probably going to bother a mod because I don’t want the person being rude to someone else.

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SaveFerris
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08 Jun 2019, 5:45 pm

TimeBunny wrote:

I strongly recommend not bothering the MODs if you have any other means, block buttons or whatever to get rid of whomever you don't wish to talk to...no one is obliged to talk to anyone if they don't feel like it.

I strongly recommend that you do bother me or other MODS if you get dubious , harassing , weird PM's

I have no problem dealing with dodgy PM's , I was a victim of them myself on this very forum.

Bother me so you can get peace of mind.

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Darmok
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08 Jun 2019, 5:57 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

I have no problem dealing with dodgy PM's, I was a victim of them myself on this very forum.

Hey, you promised not to bring that up again! I've already apologized twice and I wired the reinstatement fee to your private account just like you told me to. That should close the case. :skull:

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Mountain Goat
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08 Jun 2019, 6:16 pm

I did have one person who said he had no friends and when I responded he PM'd me. All seemed fine. Then the next day I just said something to be polite. No problem. Then I think yesterday morning I said another polite message. He replied some quite abusive language and also said something about my mum which was rather strange. I believe it is that he is not coping with life. It does puzzle me a little as it was unexpected. I just deleted his messages from my PM list, but I can see why the guy struggles to make friends, whicn is sad for him. I don't remember his username and it wouldn't be right to say it. Before I deleted his messages to me I put a little post in his origional thread so if he sees it he can have a think, because I believe there is hope and he can change things if when he says silly things he apologises later.

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SaveFerris
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08 Jun 2019, 7:42 pm

Darmok wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

I have no problem dealing with dodgy PM's, I was a victim of them myself on this very forum.

Hey, you promised not to bring that up again! I've already apologized twice and I wired the reinstatement fee to your private account just like you told me to. That should close the case. :skull:

I've moved the goalposts , I want more money :skull:

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Darmok
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08 Jun 2019, 8:08 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

Darmok wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

I have no problem dealing with dodgy PM's , I was a victim of them myself on this very forum.

Hey, you promised not to bring that up again! I've already apologized twice and I wired the reinstatement fee to your private account just like you told me to. That should close the case. :skull:

I've moved the goalposts , I want more money :skull:

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TimeBunny
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08 Jun 2019, 8:54 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

TimeBunny wrote:

I am not saying they don't deserve to get reported....I agree with your sentiments...just citing a BAD experience on the other site...I tried to report someone I thought was dangerous to the ladies...nearly got Banned for it then and later they did take me out...even tho my hands were clean...maybe here is better?
Less bad stuff seems to happen if you stay out of the way of Mods in general was my point.
But I do agree with your feelings.....

TimeBunny
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08 Jun 2019, 8:56 pm

Darmok wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

Darmok wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

I have no problem dealing with dodgy PM's , I was a victim of them myself on this very forum.

Hey, you promised not to bring that up again! I've already apologized twice and I wired the reinstatement fee to your private account just like you told me to. That should close the case. :skull:

I've moved the goalposts , I want more money :skull:

Great DarthVader clip Emu Egg....

EzraS
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08 Jun 2019, 9:29 pm

Once again I point out my misfortune in over 5 years of being passed up by those who send (genuine) abusive and or perverted PMs.

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