Making it Better: The future of WP
Criticizing left-wing ideas without criticizing the person is not bullying.
Criticizing centrist ideas without criticizing the person is not bullying.
Just don’t criticize the person while you’re criticizing the idea.
"You" is also general and you say "you" without meaning the person directly you are responding too. That is what I meant with my hypothetical comment about parenting.
This is an inherent problem with the English language, we don't have a word like you that doesn't imply you personally. One could use one, but that's less common and reads slightly awkwardly.
I put it in quotation marks, indicating it is the generic use of the word "you".
The Haven is protected more than any other forum on this site, so if someone is in distress and posts there it is for help and support from other members, not to debate with him/her about their religion or atheism or post anything that could cause further distress.
This one is important too. It's a rule addition made by TallyMan in 2012.
Sadly, comments that were belittling or provocative have been made in The Haven.
They've caused considerable distress for some members.
When members speak up, they're often told that they're too sensitive or they should grow thicker skin, even when it's a direct rule break which should not be allowed. Then the cycle perpetuates, with those members being called "fragile" or "snowflakes", or other dismissive terms which are judgemental and insulting.
It really is baffling that such simple rules can't always be understood.
Probably because of interpretations and what is considered an insult or what is belittling.
I once read a story that astounded me and I think this was a true story. Someone wrote how we needed to be cautious about the B word (bully) when we label students that. One example was there was this 13 year old kid who was going around calling people names and putting them down and he got asked by the teacher "Now what do you think a bully is?" and he said "going around and calling people fa**ots" and that was shocking.
He wasn't going around calling people slur words so he didn't see himself as a bully.
I even had someone tell me online about the word b***h, "is just a word."
To some people, they are just words and have no affect on them. Good for them. So in their mind, there is no insult and it's just a word.
And on Reddit, when I did a comeback when I got insulted by telling someone "you are an idiot if you think you have to insult people to disagree" because they called me an idiot, they seemed shocked and surprised and played the victim and were like "but but but what you said was stupid" as if they thought they were justified. A spade is a spade you know.
The mindset people out there have is mind boggling. Then they are surprised at your comeback or when they get a warning from a mod or something.
When I was a kid, I thought a bully was taking lunch money from kids or teasing someone every day calling them names that are meant to hurt them and it's done with intent. If someone didn't fit the bully description you always see on TV they were not a bully. So I am not surprised if bullies out there do not see themselves as a bully.
In my day, "Man Banter" was allowed, assuming both parties agreed.
It was a form of humour.
Unfortunately, some people don't get it, don't understand it is a mutual mode of alternate communication, put their own interpretation on it using their own personal value system, ignore the context, and scream bloody murder.
That isn't a problem.
The problem arises when you explain the situation, the other person verifies that it is mutual, and "you" are still in the doghouse.
DEATH TO INDIVIDUALITY!
Hoomans.
I'm trying to understand everything that was said tonight.
Everyone is racist to a degree, so it's OK to call anyone racist.
If someone calls you a racist and you object, you are the worst type of racist.
If you ask for evidence and they can't supply it, you are still a racist.
Personal attacks aren't allowed on Wrong Planet.
Calling someone a racist or WS isn't a personal attack, even with no evidence.
Anyone who will vote for Trump this year can be called a White Supremacist.
Being on the right doesn't make someone a White Supremacist.
I'm trying my best to understand this, and to see how it applies to our rules.
I'm not sure what constitutes calling someone a Nazi. How is that defined?
This is all very confusing to me, especially when there is a rule against generalisations based on politics.
In recent months, it has become increasingly clear that people are not reading these rules.
As a result, any thread made after this post that breaks these rules in the opening post will be locked, and the user will be formally warned. If a thread contains significant ongoing constructive discussion then the rule break may be edited out of the OP instead.
In particular, please pay attention to the rule banning attacks on groups of people. For avoidance of doubt, here are some contemporary examples which break that rule:
"Trump supporters are idiots"
"Only stupid people would vote for Clinton"
"The left will get upset at this"
"Conservatives get butthurt too easily"
"Feminists are evil"
etc.
If we can't say Trump supporters are idiots, why can we say they are White Supremacists?
What about people who aren't even American, and aren't political, and offer support for BLM?
How are they allowed to grouped as "fragile racists", or "coddled White Supremacists" ?
_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
It's like if you lock your car door when a black person walks by, you may not even realize you aren't doing it to white people.
I got called a racist nazi and threatened physical harm for saying I won’t support rioting by the way which is done by mostly white upper class liberals.
Guess that’s ok on you site.
I've had racial assumptions about my heritage used here to try and lessen the value of what I have posted by a member who protays themself as being against racism.
I've been called a racist and a bigot becuase a person wanted to focus on how an action affected one specific race, and I pointed out that it affected all races, and that it might be better to focus on fighting the action, rather than the race of a subset of those affected, if you wanted the action stopped.
I've seen members here refer to all on the right of the political spectrum as Nazi's - in a thread started with a poll asking if it was OK to punch Nazis, with only 2 options: yes, and yes - and in which none of the active participants saw any issue with this belief.
I've seen a member state that anyone who disagreed with a conservative was intelligent, perceptive, and wise, with "justification" supplie dto indicate that no conservative could hold those virtues...
I've seen a member say that supporting Trump is no different than liking Hitler.
And this is a small sample of what has been permitted (either through leaving it when reported, or allowing a precedent through other posts that were ignored (even worse is when a moderator is a part of the thread and doesn't see the issue themself and act accordingly on it, instead needing it to be "reported" and then maybe acted on), leading to it becoming "normalized"). As a result, this has given rise to a large number of people wondering what the point of the site is if they will be attacked for holding a different view, and so leaving the site...Along with who-knows how many potential members who see that and decide they would rather avoid the place altogether and so not even sign up.
Maybe ? When I was a kid I thought bullying had to be physical so any teasing I received I didn't consider as bullying even though it's was harmful.
My husband had the same thought as you. He said he was never bullied until high school. He meant he was teased and then he started to get beat up in high school.
"The dictionary is your friend." (I've trademarked that sentence, btw, not to be confused with Fnord's "Google is your friend.":))
verb
past tense: bullied; past participle: bullied
seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).
Some people can dish it out but they cannot dish it back in.
What you describe sounds like responding to a personal attack with another personal attack.
Is it a personal attack or a strong disagreement
I'm waiting for League_Girl to judge.
I don't care if it's a personal attack. If someone decides to insult me, they shouldn't be surprised what I say to them next. I see it as self defense.
But then you get warned or banned. How’s that for fair?
Report the attack to the mod so they can get warned as well.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
Isabella, I'm equality confused. I've heard here before the argument "I'm allowed to use insults if I'm right". It has never been made clear how "being right" is decided.
*From another non-American who would never vote for Trump
_________________
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
Maybe ? When I was a kid I thought bullying had to be physical so any teasing I received I didn't consider as bullying even though it's was harmful.
My husband had the same thought as you. He said he was never bullied until high school. He meant he was teased and then he started to get beat up in high school.
"The dictionary is your friend." (I've trademarked that sentence, btw, not to be confused with Fnord's "Google is your friend.":))
verb
past tense: bullied; past participle: bullied
seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).
Most of the time, the dictionary is wrong because people don't use words how the dictionary uses them.
See https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Argumentu ... ctionarium
Not saying you are doing it but people do use the dictionary as an argument to say "but the dictionary says..." to support their argument.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
*From another non-American who would never vote for Trump
So far what I have learned is it's okay to call people these things if they are true.
But my question is what if they are wrong with their accusation? What if everyone had a different view on what is considered racism? Or what is considered white supremacy?
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
It's like if you lock your car door when a black person walks by, you may not even realize you aren't doing it to white people.
I got called a racist nazi and threatened physical harm for saying I won’t support rioting by the way which is done by mostly white upper class liberals.
Guess that’s ok on you site.
I've had racial assumptions about my heritage used here to try and lessen the value of what I have posted by a member who protays themself as being against racism.
I've been called a racist and a bigot becuase a person wanted to focus on how an action affected one specific race, and I pointed out that it affected all races, and that it might be better to focus on fighting the action, rather than the race of a subset of those affected, if you wanted the action stopped.
I've seen members here refer to all on the right of the political spectrum as Nazi's - in a thread started with a poll asking if it was OK to punch Nazis, with only 2 options: yes, and yes - and in which none of the active participants saw any issue with this belief.
I've seen a member state that anyone who disagreed with a conservative was intelligent, perceptive, and wise, with "justification" supplie dto indicate that no conservative could hold those virtues...
I've seen a member say that supporting Trump is no different than liking Hitler.
And this is a small sample of what has been permitted (either through leaving it when reported, or allowing a precedent through other posts that were ignored (even worse is when a moderator is a part of the thread and doesn't see the issue themself and act accordingly on it, instead needing it to be "reported" and then maybe acted on), leading to it becoming "normalized"). As a result, this has given rise to a large number of people wondering what the point of the site is if they will be attacked for holding a different view, and so leaving the site...Along with who-knows how many potential members who see that and decide they would rather avoid the place altogether and so not even sign up.
Yup,
Yup,
And yup.
I think I was there and saw most/all your references.
I have been avoiding PPR and News like the coronavirus for quite some time now.
If things change, I may go back.
Meh.
Life's too short.
That was me.
And I got a soft warning about it but my post stayed unedited.
Can't imagine Hitler being as chummy with Netanyahu as Trump is.
_________________
On a mountain range
I'm Doctor Strange
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
Why don't you guys moderate threads you participate in?
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
I always thought that Tallyman's post already made it crystal clear about not getting nasty in there.
I agree. There's not much room for ambiguity about TallyMan's post, especially when Alex already said not to belittle or provoke people, directly or indirectly. I wish everyone could just wipe the slate clean and call a truce and start following the rules or avoiding people who may cause conflict.
That's a good rule Ferris. If anyone is asked to stop any behaviour they certainly should, even if it was unintentional.
Apologies can go a long way when we make mistakes.
Well, I hope people understand a good-natured joke when they see one.
Otherwise, I'm "out of business". EEP!
If you can't moderate a thread you participate in, though, do you forward possible infringements to another moderator to look at\evaluate, or is it up to someone else to report it?
I'd like to think it was the former, as otherwise seeing those sorts of posts, along with moderator contribution to the thread, would give the impression to anyone reading the thread that the words\behaviour are encouraged\endorsed, particularly if all those who may have disagreed with the sentiments have left the thread and so would be unable to see and then report them.
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