Poll: Offensive posts

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It has been noticed that sexist and derogatory remarks are still being made on the forums. Besides being offensive to many people the context is not exactly family friendly - for example a post referring to a visit to a strip club was made on the general forum today.

Speaking for myself I would like to see this put to a stop without wishing to resort to being personal.

A show of hands please... (sorry 'exist' should read 'sexist')
Dunc

Being a parent, honestly there is too much unsuitable content being posted in a general area that young pre-teens and teens can access that can very much influence them. If one doesn't think that this won't happen it will and to continue to do such on a supposedly 'family friendly' forum and want to be able to assure parents of their child's safety on this site, it shouldn't be tolerated.

I couldn't agree more! Those people who are using this site to post highly sexist and indecent material should be weeded out. The purpose of this site was for people with Asperger's syndrome to discuss issues relevant to this condition and communicate with others and find some support and hopefully ease our suffering. In most cases this is true, but lately the site has degenerated and some really sleazy material has been posted. The time has come for some strict guidelines to be put in place for posting on this site and those who want to use this site to post sleaze should be asked to leave.

no-one will be surprised at my concurrence with duncvis.

does this site have any sort of policy about this? like chat rooms, etc?

if not, maybe we should....

V

I notice the offending post regarding strip clubs has been removed. Thank you for that.

I agree. We should have a specific guideline of what determines something as being offensive though. This way, all members are clearly told the rules and therefore understand what they can and cannot post. Maybe somebody should suggest rules to put into something like this and make it a new topic? It certainly is an important issue. Maybe we could have a page that before you get to the boards, it shows you the rules. they shouldn't be long or confusing though, legal jargon won't help. People who wish to discuss not family-friendly topics really should discuss it on the adult's board.

LOL Now I think letsgoblues voted for himself, if he did, he's more of a fool than I thought.

I am the only dissenting vote?? wow...

Anyway, I am against this for the following reasons: first of all, I have to curb my tongue everywhere else I go. This is just about the only place where I can really say what I think, the way I think it.

"Offensive" and 'sexist' are broad ranging terms, very subjective. Some people are extremely thin skinned and very easily offended.

Personal attacks, including calling Letsgoblues a fool, should not be allowed. This does not mean I agree with his viewpoints.

If something is considered 'indecent' for family viewing, it can be moved to the mature section weithout being deleted. If someone is being a serious problem, as on one forum I frequented, who deluged the forum with countless obnoxious and personally offensive posts (twenty at a time!!), then they can be dealt with. But I don't think that's what we're talkign about here, though.

I am against sexism, but if soemone else went to a strip club, so what? Censorship offends me far more than hearing about that...though I might get slightly hostile if soemone tells me it's God's will for me to submit to an abusive husband...and I have an idea that <i>that</i> wouldn't be censored.

I dunno. It just seems like everyone everywhere else wants me to shut up in one way or another, and I don't want to have to deal with that here.

I don't believe any post should be, or is actually removed from the board, without the consent of first and foremost the administrators, and then moderators.

Questionable posts are reviewed by the administrators and moderators; some will return to the forum they were in, moved to another appropriate forum, and in rare cases removed from the board.

I'm sorry, but are you guys upset because a confused, hormone ridden young man with very few social skills is trying to express himself? I thought this was a site for helping each other overcome, confront and resolve issues to do with aspergers? I would have thought sexuality would be a huge issue. I have seen some of Letsgoblues posts, and yes they can be a little disturbing, but what is more disturbing for me is the thought that if we don't explain what's wrong and what's right to him, who will? How is he going to learn if we just throw out his posts? I agree with chamoisee - it should go in the mature age forum. As for strip clubs - I think some of us are being little prudish - there were no visuals, just the words - and a confused question about this being right or wrong.
There was one post where Letsgoblues posted a picture of a girl he liked. Someone saw this and wrote an excellent reply that told him why this was a bad thing to do. He may never have understood why this would be a bad thing otherwise. Now, at least he will have heard another point of view. That is not to say that people should be allowed to break laws, or hurt people, so they can be corrected, but in the case of social skills, this is a relatively safe way to learn. I have an 8 year old son with PDD-NOS, and as he grows older I would rather he talked about these things, than keep them inside until they are manifested in an unfortunate way. I have no qualms about letting him cruise around this site. I am more worried about video games and violence on tv than the odd encounter with naked body parts on the internet - we've all got them, and we all have to learn about them eventually!! !! I am female, and I know when I feel threatened - I'm concerned that our hormonal friend will do something silly if he isn't counselled on how to go about things the right way. I worry about his ability to respect women, if he doesn't experience their points of view. I worry about his self esteem if he does approach a girl in the wrong way and is rejected. I obviously don't know him as well as the others here seem to, but I don't think censorship will solve anything.
Sorry to rant... I dislike censorship - particularly subjective censorship.

There could have been more of letsGoBlues threads removed from the forum he put them in. They weren't. There are also ways to express yourself in order to get helpful responses, as well.

The picture of the girl he likes was still where he posted it.

A majority voted in the poll above, majority normally and rightfully so... rules. The frequency at which certain issues are brought up may also be causing members distress in a variety of ways. I don't want to see those that want to post here to leave, because of an issue that can be bothersome, especially to the great many here that are under the age of 18.

With that said, it is in the best judgement for the more explicit repeatedly posts be moved to a more appropriate forum, if not removed from the board; especially when they are too repeatitive.

Can I suggest that the wording of the poll, doesn't necessarily relate directly to the guy in question. Sexist and offensive is a very personal point of view. To assume that everyone takes offence to the same thing is absurd. Where do you draw the line? Who makes the decision? Perhaps it would be more democratic if we had a 'offensive'/'inoffensive' poll for all posts, and when the offensive votes exceed the inoffensive the post is moved to the 'controversial postings' area? Of course no one wants to see offensive and sexist posts - but we all have a different idea of what that means. I am deeply offended by people who defended the iraq war, but I don't deny them the right to speak out. If you are offended by someone elses view, it is probably best to avoid reading their posts.

i absolutely agree, but with all due respect, ilster, some of us have - myself, at least one other member of wrongplanet has (a male, i might add), and several other people have, male and female, in a chat room. i have been courteous and have listened, but have not been listened to, or received courtesy in return. and working with "troubled" young people is my job, so i like to think i know what i'm doing.

sexism can be said to be in the eye or ear of the beholder. sexism is not only personal, it is political, in that it is not a matter of what is offensive on a personal level, it is the fact that such comments are part of a continuum, at the end of which is child pornography and rape. too extreme? maybe some will think i am. but i'll leave to your imagination what it's like to work with a young child who has been abused because the abuser was "at the mercy of his hormones, and didn't know better" - i speak from experience. and i have been subjected to sexism (among other things) for forty-odd years - i'm tired of having to defend myself all the time, when i am not the guilty party.

sexism, racism, "disablism", homophobia, and every other "ism" are all wrong, and i will continue to challenge them until i have no breath left to do so. and if to consider that everybody is offended by sexist remarks is absurd, then i can handle being thought absurd - i will fight against sexism for the sake of those who have no voice to do so.

if this were the only place for such sexual matters to have a forum then yes, i would agree that the mature forum would be the best place for it. however, there are many other sites where such things may be indulged, and i so see no logical need for them to be here. and it isn't just about protecting younger people by moving such comments to the mature forum - i, as a sexually-mature adult, am offended by such sexism, and i don't want to encounter it anywhere on this site.

censorship, i agree, is repugnant. but on both a personal and a political level, i am offended by posts which treat me, and all other females, as nothing more than an animatronic blow up doll. as with any "hard and fast rule", there needs to flexibility - in this case, i vote for censorship.

i am not a prude - far from it - but i do think that more experienced members here - and in life - have a responsibility to and for those with less experience - i refuse to subscribe to the attitude that it is somebody else's problem, or responsibility. this attitude leads to the sort of state the world is in right now.

and i don't believe it's about shutting you up as you describe it, chamoisee - a line DOES have to be drawn somewhere, otherwise it's "innocent" remarks about women today, and discussions of "how i sexually abused a two year old" tomorrow. and i for one would like to be part of the process which decides where that line is - if i don't take that responsibility, then i have no cause to complain later.

no-one here has ranted, by the way - we have expressed how we feel and why. it's called debate. and i hope no-one interprets this as a personal attack - i am simply disagreeing.

V

incidentally - in my professional opinion, we can only offer support to people on this board, not proper counselling or therapeutic work, and it is dangerous to try to do such things without the correct skills. and again, i speak from experience (mine - it was a long time ago, and i am still uncomfortable with what i did, even if i "didn't know better" at the time).

i suggest we don't open cans of worms we can't deal with.


V

I agree.

Sexist is the discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women; and offensive is when someone causes anger, displeasure and/or resentment.

There is really one issue that is generally offensive (which, as I mentioned, shouldn't be continually posted in forums where the entire membership has access to), just one member has crossed a bit or more than a bit over the line, depending on individual members points of view.

I think anyone, regardless of age, would rather see discussion about just about any other subject matter repeatively.

Vetivert, I agree with a lot that you say - especially with the child abuse. I have known too many people that have suffered. My fear is that someone such as the guy who seems to be annoying us women could resort to more desperate measures to get his 'date' if we don't intervene. I don't agree with his attitude, but I am terrified that if someone doesn't explain things to him, he will do what we all dread. I see sexual abuse as a result of frustration. Frustration is a dangerous thing. I notice that some of the responses to his posts have been using sarcasm. I don't think sarcasm is something he understands. I think we need to talk to him as we would with a child, and explain what he should and shouldn't do. I've done a quick patrol, and I think he has stopped voicing unwanted opinions. Maybe he has taken the hint? We have to face this stuff everyday - wouldn't it be better to re-educate than to just push away? When I went to school, they decided to segregate girls from boys in science and maths, because the boys were shouting out louder and intimidating the girls. Now, this may seem odd, but in my view, if we didn't learn there how to deal with these problems, where would we? Out in the real world, there were more men, shouting down more women, and in more unpleasant ways. Calling women 'chicks' is an annoying, but common phenomenon. I once hurled an object at someone who called girls 'chicks' and caused some serious damage. But in retrospect, (a little clichéd I know) I think it is society that should be held to blame, and that's where we fit in. We are society. I am not here to solve other peoples problems, or offer solutions, but I believe a little bit of tolerance and patience might be neeed. But yes, I agree that perhaps his posts need to be moved to an 'adult area'. Has anyone suggested this to him?