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Wasn't sure how to name the subject, but..

Basically, over half a year ago my random depressions started rising, I couldn't take anymore noises from school, and I'd often just cross my arms and start to cry. Eventually I talked to my parents about it, and I was given two options, go to a psychologist once every week, or go to a different school, where I'd get therapy. I already had a psychologist and it didn't really work, so I went to a different school, but now, the same is starting to happen, again.

Because there's about 10 kids in this school, you'd think it'd be quiet. In fact, it's worse than your average highschool, I'd say. Most of the people there run around all day screaming and chasing eachother, playing loud music, destroying things sometimes, and doing things that just make me sick watching it. >: (Example, once I found milk powder with water added on a tray.) Just thinking people want to do that, makes me feel sick.

A few days ago I had a panick attack, I couldn't go anywhere, so I was relieved it was lunchtime and the halls were.. well, not quiet, but less noisy. Eventually I just went home anyway.

At school, I barely do anything. I just read all day. At school, I'd be able to ask the teachers, but here, I can't, because the two teachers that work there can't explain stuff well, and sometimes when I just look at work, it makes me feel weird. This also caused me not to work at all, and now I have to do another year of school.. :/

And they said "Therapy" well, more like *Censored*. All we do during that time is talk about pointless things, or social behaviour, which I'm completely not interested in. I'm happy the way I respond to people. I've told them that, but it still goes on, and on, and on. Or, we get to do nothing for an hour simply because they don't have therapists. This also usually means the group (two groups in total) that gets therapy last, gets to go home earlier, because there's nothing to do. The other group just gets to sit around for an hour, because they're unlucky. (Yeah, they made a 'what to do when you're bored' list, but all I remember of it was "Clean up the place", few lines later the same, and I mean come on.. one said "Take a bath." Like what the..?)

I don't like the people that work there, either.. They're- blutly said, stupid, the way I see them. I've broken down crying to one, feeling aweful, and.. Well, I don't think it did much to her. I don't trust them, and I don't believe they'd understand, either. I feel like I'm treated like a 7 year-old, though I'm 15, and being an aspie, I actually feel far over that age. I feel repressed and misunderstood.

I've been struggling for a few months to get away from this school, and it seems to be almost fixed.. At least, that's what they tell me. But what if the new school I'm going to, probably a special school, will have the same effect anyway? I feel tormented. >:


Can anyone tell me how I can possibly feel better around there, or in any case, a way to pass time while ignoring everything around me?

Your needs weren't being met in regular high school, and it doesn't sound as if your needs are being met at this new school either. Have you talked to your parents about how you are finding it there? Is there a chance that your parents could speak to someone in the school's administration so you could be given work more suited to your abilities?

All I can think of to suggest is earplugs and interesting reading material.

Hope you get settled soon in a more congenial environment.