Petrol by a garage attendant
Pick by a friend (rhymewith Nick)
Croaker or Crocus (spin on surname. Teachers are hilarious)
Monkey boy (big ears)
Harrison Ford for my expression
Yid, P-word, terrorist, Iraqi all because my drivers licence makes me look Middle Eastern (I'm a Celt, through and through)
Speedy (my tendancy to daydream during tasks I didn't care for at my first job)
Beefcake and Beefy due to the way I caught a rugby ball, and I'm quite big.
Numpty in general, mainly for sticking my finger in a machine and getting it cut off.
Smiler
Badger because at 25 I have a cluster of white or silver, not grey, hair at the front.
Mad, Crazy, Weird Nick
Freak
Klutz
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"Think like the whelp, think like the whelp, think like the whelp... " Captain Jack Sparrow
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Inigo Montoya