Rant I: Public School Horror Stories

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Public school horror stories, oh yeah… where to start?

Getting my first death threat in primary school by a classmate. he was reprimanded and so was the person who made her do it but it still confuses me greatly.

Getting bullied in school, on the way to school, during class. Reacting very erratically and thus being sent into psychotherapy.

Getting ignored by every classmate except the bullies, one of them being my younger brother, spending all of the breaks trying to avoid this form of lowlife, sneaking into the school building for that and getting punished.

"Write something positive about your clasmates" assignment led to people writing something they did not understand (they said that I was loyal because one of them apparently read this somewhere without any clue what it means, others copied it from her) because they did not want to leave the sheet blank.

German class was a complete waste of time. I never actually did well there and realizing that every single assignment was like 'dance to the architecture of this building' to me made me hostile to the subject. Which caused the teacher also to deduct my politics mark, even though politics was a subject I understood and liked and did well in.

Constantly getting into trouble for stimming. Yes, I moved my hands and body in class but I did so in silence. Otherwise, I couldn't have handled it.

Um...Yes, it is. Always. Power corrupts. Always. If they knew what they were doing, they wouldn't "need" to paddle. (I don't think any Catholic schools do that any more.)

Positive discipline works in a small school with teachers who know what they are doing.
Big elementary schools (K thru 8th) are inherently evil and should not exist, anywhere.
Middle school, especially, should not exist. I managed to bypass that whole thing by keeping my kids in a tiny charter school.

For me, middle school was hell. Home and school were both so bad that I only got through half of 10th grade. Dropping out was the smartest thing I ever did. One can be "emancipated" at the age of 16, but it's not too common. I eventually got into an alternative school that I found for myself, by accident, so I graduated on-time. It doesn't exist any more, so I don't know what I would have done today.

My son (Aspie) got into a county tech high school, so he wasn't abused. Just neglected.

My daughter (NT) is in the regular local high school. It's probably as bad as any other, but she's kind-of a teacher's pet (through no fault of her own) so, again, at least she's not being abused. For two reasons. One: It's a working-class town with a majority of minorities (if that makes any sense) and the pretty little blond is always right. (I trust that she's smart enough to see how wrong that is, even though she benefits from it.) Two: They treat the kids like animals from the first day of kindergarten and, surprise-surprise, they act like animals when they get to high school. We bypassed that whole thing with the charter school, so she knows how to act like a responsible young adult.

Does that really work? I never would have thought of it. Did you ever actually use it?

I learned from an early age not to let people know what I liked or didn't like. That just gave them a weapon. Better to just take what comes at random -- some of it might actually be good. If they knew what I cared about, I would have gotten nothing but misery.

Oh -- and that making an effort was pointless. It was better to not try than to try and fail.

I've learned that lesson over again at a more sophisticated level with my control-freak, passive-aggressive spouse. Show a weakness or a need, and he'll turn on me in a heartbeat. Damn, I need to get out of here before I have more serious needs.

Retribution is pointless. If you want to do something, join a movement to make things better for kids. Educate parents. Support positive changes in the schools. Add your Aspie story to the ones already out there. Oh, wait, you already have, with this thread. Keep up the good work.

British Columbia banned the 'strap' in 1979. My granddad insisted at the time it was the worst decision the government ever made.

Though in one school I went to, there was 'paddling' by the Principal, though I was never a recipient. That was in the early to mid 80s

Hi guys,

I guess my time in school was so bad, I just wish I could have a way to make sure no one ever has to go through what I went through again. If it wasn't for the fact I got really good grades (despite sketching in class, making noises, being all-in-all different, etc) I guess they would have probably kicked me out. I hated being at school; everyone bullied me, including people from higher grades, and people who didn't even know me!! ! I didn't even know why. I didn't know how to respond, and so I ended up hitting people.

Since this was Brazil in the eighties, there was no one - NO OOONE - like me in the whole school. Not that I could find, anyway. I looked, believe me. So, I would just get a couple of imaginary friends every break and hide near some mango trees, or near the bee hive (the bees liked me for some reason). If school was bad, my mother was even worse... so I actually preferred to be in school, where there was at least the possibility to hide from abuse.

Lack of understanding, I guess, is the thing that was harder for us Aspies while growing up. The new Aspies, hopefully, have it easier that we older people did. Just the fact that the nparents are aware that there is a difference, and we are not doing anything on purpose, probably is incredibly helpful.

The only thing I fear is that they may start putting limitations on children even before they have a chance to fight for themselves; I was saddened by this story that played on Asperger's in Brazil, and how they put this young aspie girl with completely autistic kids, basically treating them like the same. It's so backwards still down there. Needless to say, she regressed considerably. I am sure I would have too.

Anyway. The future will get better. Seems like we're getting more and more numerous. That is a very good thing. They can't just ignore, paddle or reprimend all of us, all the time.

I understand the whole "What goes around comes around." thing, but DAMN, that's kind of cold when you consider that the recipients are in the final years of their lives!



Now, I suppose that I ought to contribute something. While I've erased a number of memories through sheer will (a useful skill on occasion), I'll work with what I decided to be important or couldn't get rid of.

Starting with 1st grade:
My first and only year at Lowell Elementary in Long Beach (Yep, I'm naming names.) was spent in a class taught by an older woman with a non-rhotic accent. I don't know where she was from, but at the time I thought that she was English. (I hadn't heard of New England.)
Now, first I would like to say something impressive. In kindergarten, I had been taught all of the letters. Their names, how to write them, but not the sounds. I didn't know that they formed words. In the first day of first grade, there was a literacy review immediately following the Pledge of Allegiance. By the end of it, I could read. I picked up English orthography in a single morning.
In general, though, I couldn't write. Not write as in wield a pencil, but rather as in compose. I still have great difficulty writing without an audience. My inability to write was determined to be defiance, of course. For this, I took all sorts of crap that I don't specifically remember.
Mind you, I was undiagnosed at the time, but I was always known to be a strange child. Reportedly, I was using the word "splendid" at age four.

I didn't spend a second year at Lowell because I moved. Yeah, that's all. I wasn't kicked out. That comes later.

Having moved out to Trabuco Canyon, I took 2nd grade at Robinson Elementary.
My 2nd grade teacher noticed that I was strange, and recommended a professional diagnosis.

Now, a funny story: In the doctor's office (the diagnosing doctor), I played with the lame toys that were provided while my mom sat patiently and the doctor looked over my files. When she was ready to talk to me, she said, "So, Stephen, how old were you on your birthday?" Without turning my head, I replied, "One year older than the year before.", knowing that she had been reading about me. A few minutes later, I was diagnosed with AS; I was an easy case.

2nd grade proceeded fairly unremarkably, if you consider constantly being in trouble to be situation normal.

3rd grade!
I was transferred to a "special" school called Trabuco Mesa. I don't recall being in trouble there... Ever. I met a good friend there (an enemy at first, but upper-class bullies have a tendency to unite people), and at the end of the first trimester, they had determined that I didn't belong there, so I was sent back to Robinson.
The rest of 3rd grade was weird. Not bad, just weird. The school couldn't put me into a normal 3rd grade class part-way through the year, so they put me into a 2nd grade class... Wait, what?
Every so often, I would go somewhere else for individual lessons. The class was just meant to be a place to put me... Like a storage cabinet.

4th grade!
I was put into the gifted class! And that's not gifted with quotation marks!
The teacher, Nancy Brown, was positively brilliant. I wasn't in trouble all the time, I wasn't overloaded with homework, and students were encouraged to find alternate ways of doing assignments!
This was, howewer, the only year when I've ever been totally grounded. It was about a week before my 10th birthday. In after-school daycare, there was a kid who had been giving me crap for quite some time. One day I took a jump rope to his neck, like how one would hang someone, but I didn't harm him, it was only a gesture, a way of saying, "Stop screwing with me." But the staff really freaked out, and I was suspended from after-school daycare. I was also grounded. ON MY BIRTHDAY! I got to have the party (which was on a more convenient day), but the very next day, I was still grounded. I should've applied force to the rope, the result would've been the same, but the gesture would've been more effective.


To avoid focusing on the positive, let's move on to 5th grade.
I was still in the gifted class, but this was much harder! This teacher DID overload me with homework, and when I didn't finish it, I had to do it during break time... In a 3rd grade classroom that was in session! On one occasion, they were doing music at the time! My mom got me out of there with an angry letter and a number of meetings. As I recall, the word "appalled" came up.
I was moved to a normal 5th grade class that included lots of timed math tests. I tended to only get half-way through, since I write (the mechanical act of putting symbols onto a page) slowly.
There was a meeting with my mom, who asked about the answers. Of the problems that I had done, all were correct! Of course they were! Why would I write down a wrong answer? After that, I only had to do those tests half-way.
Spelling tests... Yes, I can spell. If I can pronounce a word, then I can also spell it. But there were weekly spelling tests anyway... This is after a week of defining the words, writing them over and over, and using them in sentences.
If you're unfamiliar with this, then spelling tests are tests in which the teacher says a word and the students write it. Did I mention that I write slowly? I had to memorize the words as they were being said because I couldn't keep up. Not writing every word was seen as defiance. On one occasion, I recall the teacher saying, "These are the words he chose to do. Make him do the rest of them."

Having moved to Mission Viejo, I took 6th grade at Montevideo Elementary.
I don't remember too much about this year in the negative, except that I was forced to participate in an after-school social group where I made a good friend, but the topics of conversation (how to have one) were absolutely pitiful. Oh, and 9/11 happened.

If any of this seems less than horrible, then just make it worse.

In 3rd grade, we dressed up for Halloween. I dressed up as Dracula. I went to a girl I was friends with and said to her, in my best Romanian accent, "I vant to bite yoor neack!" She giggled and thought it was hilarious, a teacher standing by didn't quite think so. I got sent to the counselor, they brought in a psychologist and a police officer, and I was suspended for terroristic threatening.

Btw, even as a young child, if anyone had ever taken a paddle to me they would have severely regretted it. I would have done more harm to them then a paddle could have ever done to me, and my parents would tell you the same thing.

jamesp420 wrote:

Are you kidding? That's insane. That's up there with the kid who got suspended for pointing a chicken finger at the lunch lady and saying bang bang. If I was the principal I'd put that teacher in for evaluation.

Yeah well they had already labeled me as a "problem child" and a "troublemaker," so I'm sure this pleased them that I was living up to their expectations...

Yeah, but it's systematic stupidity. We are expected to follow a blanket rule even if it doesn't make sense and put our reasoning abilities on a shelf somewhere.

Which is why I tend to never follow rules. I don't believe in self sacrifice for the contentment of others, and people are actually starting to look up to me for my ideas and actions. Adults would call this being a "bad influence."

wow, that is messed up. i am really sorry you had to experience such f****d up christians. honestly they are not all like that.
i dont get how people think physical punishment is a good idea. it works for some kids, but definately not all. i bitterly resent any time my parents have hit me. it didnt help. and i also hate how they never believe you.

OMFG. That is just, injust what happened to you. I had my share of horror stories in middle school and high school, but dang, you beat me badly there. I feel bad that you had to go through that, but am happy that college is a much better experience for you.

My God...it's pathetic how much s**t kids have to go through at school. Through out my life there were kids that just seemed intent on making me have a mental breakdown! I didn't have it as rough as some people had but by the time I was in fourth grade I was seriously considering suicide, thank God I got help. Anyways...

Preschool:

Preschool was fine, it was nice. I met a girl who liked the same stuff as me (IE. Our favorite color was purple and our favorite dinosaur was the Tricerotops) One day, we had a screaming match on the playground and became bestest friends soon after! Yay! Another time, a girl bit me when I hugged her and I didn't understand why. (Later on my parents told me that i had probably hugged her too hard and hurt her. I didn't relize how tight my grip could be back then.)

Kindergarden:

Nothing too bad in Kindergarden. 'Cept I had an odd friendship with my best friend and another girl, we each seemed to think that our other friend was only one persons best friend. And one time a girl who was quite the brat told me she hoped I ended up in the hospital....

First grade:

Moved to another school which began the many years of Hell I had to go through. Teachers were nice, I was one of the best readers in my class....math...well....I didn't even know what 0+10 was, which prompted some kids to lable me as 'stupid'. Some highlights of my bullying were...

1. Getting a very nasty note which dipicted me with boogers coming out of my nose.

2. Having my shoelaces tied to a bar on the table and falling flat on my face. (To be honest, I was kinda egging a kid on to do that, but I honestly didn't expect her to do it!)

3. Come winter time, my Mom made me go to school with extra clothes, underwear included. Some dubass BOYS thought it would be okay to go through my bag and found my extra underwear and proceeded to throw it up and down the hall until my teacher stopped them

Not to mention that I had to go to the YMCA after school program which included some of the kids that bullied me. Since I lived at point A, went to school at point B, my Mom worked at point C, and my Dad worked at point D.

Second Grade:

New school in same district. Best school year ever! Adorded my teacher, got bullied a bit, friends from first grade dumped me, declaring me a 'crybaby', met my best friend for many years, a boy we shall call K.

Third Grade:

Most INCOMPITANT teacher I've EVER had! Let the damn class run wild! Barely taught us anything. Met second and third best guy friends we shall call S and J. Met first best girl friend since Preschool who we shall call A.

Fourth Grade:

My official first year of Hell. Had a compleate and total b***h for a teacher who picked on me and NEVER tried to understand me. Got bullied more, trichotillomania started as well as me scratching my head until I got scabs, got glasses, parents devorced, thoughts of suicide started, got help soon after.

Fifth Grade:

Some DUMBASS in the school system thought it would be a good idea for Fifth graders to start in 'EFFIN MIDDLE SCHOOL!! !! OH BOY! S and J moved. Backstabbed by A and other girlfriend K. Bullying got even worse, rumors started, kids avoided me like the plague. Rumor going around that K and I were dating. (Found that rumor hysterical.)

Sixth Grade:

Tried to make friends with a girl we shall call T, hated me, made fun of me to the point till I snapped and slapped her upside her head as hard as I could in the girls locker room, got suspended, did T get in trouble for bullying me? Noooooo! No kid did! Lady who took over as principle that year was a compleate and total b***h who didn't give a flying f*** about any bullies! Moved with Mom to new town near the end of the year. GOOD BYE SCHOOL OF ret*d TEACHERS!! !

Seventh Grade:

Was now a loner who snapped at the slightest rude comment at me. (Can I really be blamed?) Hated school, hated teachers, basically hated life, just wanted to stay home and sleep/read/be on computer. Halfway through the year was brought to a nicer, smaller school where I got better slowly.

Eighth Grade:

Only one prob at new school. Brat who we shall call R and b***h bully we shall call A. (btw: A is now in lockup but thankfully getting better. Expect R to be pregnent soon or start drugs or some stupid s**t like that.)

Fought R like we were cats and dogs, left next year.

Nineth Grade:

Much better! Got a raceist kid in class plus an idiot, but still ok.

Tenth Grade:

This is the year now. Raceist gone, idiot remains, have best friend known as C. Changed a lot for the better. Much happier now.

I'm glad I'm no longer in a Hell school I still have problems but they're not as bad as they used to be. Kids who are in similar situaitions, be strong! Don't give up the fight against bullies and stupid teachers! Do your best to stop the hate!

The rant is present because it is true for our society --- it is shown repeatedly, in journals and in this thread, that unless there is a consistent effort by the parents, the organisers that provide treatment for autistics or Aspies, the teachers, the adminstrators as well as the student him-(or her-)self to do well in school, and that all parties are willing to work together to ensure that the school experience is maximised that benefits all parties as well as ensuring the student's all-round development; I think it is best that the Aspies should really either be in a school with only autistics/Aspies (so that teachers will have a better time managing the kids one-to-many similar students) as what Singapore had done with Eden and Pathlight Schools... or, as I thought, homeschooling could be a viable option.

Assuming considerable economic and social resources, I think autistics will do better with one-to-one teaching. We will be less distracted by social distractions (though this deficit in social interaction with other neuroptypical youths can possibly be remedied by church or other religious activities) and more focused on the strengths of each individual autistic. If autistics are good in, let's say, physics; I believe there are adequate resources on the Web and in the bookstores that the autistic can refer to further his competence in physics. With the advent of online stores like Ebay, is there any scientific equipment that the homeschooler cannot buy?

Perhaps this will be fodder for a new thread, but let us reflect on the alternatives of beign schooled --- special schools or homeschool.

I agree, I only wish that were possible for me. I am a single working parent. If I was able to I wonder if I'd be any good at it as I have significant executive dysfunction problems. I would need a lot of structure. My sister homeschooled for different reasons and there are a lot of resources available. It is possible to have a lot of social interaction with other home school families but I believe I would fail in that regard too.

Once I got sent out of class for pulling my trousers up. His reason was "I said noone's allowed to stand up". I didn't stand up, I slightly raised myself from my chair so I could lift the waistband up. It's ridiculous how picky teachers can get. They're still like it with me now I'm in year 11. I asked someone a question about the work, and they got moved away. The boys behind me were discussing porn, and not a word was said to them...