i joined a sorority. it took years because of the org's internal BS but eventually i was able to join a graduate chapter which oversees two undergraduate chapters. because of this, i am very involved with greek life on the campuses in my area. it is TORTURE. i wanted to a part of something for so long because i felt i just never fit in anywhere.
now that i am a member, i am ostracized because i don't dress like anyone else, i have different interests from everyone, because i don't follow their protocol when it comes to greeting members, and because i would rather hang out with our brother fraternity.
the females have literally stood in groups pointing and laughing at me, while having a quieted conversation. i couldn't hear it so i won't assume it was about me... but i will GUESS that it was. they then rolled their eyes and passively/aggressively said around me, but not to me "dang, she didn't even GREET us".
the males, beat me up (playfully) and in general treat me like a little sister.
it has gotten to the point where i LOATHE going to any of our events because i am either ignored completely, openly talked about, or looked at funny when i try to engage.
now that i know i have Asperger's (diagnosis pending - there is a waiting list for testing as i have to get a scholarship to cover the costs but my therapist is pretty sure) i completely ignore the events altogether. in the unusual event that i decide to go, i am no longer hungry to interact. i am more comfortable being my aloof self, because i finally figured out that if they knew better, they would do better. there is no excuse for how i have been treated.
some days i felt like telling them what they could do with their org and their protocol, but when u join my org you join for life... so i have decided to respect its founding principles, and ignore the people.
30 May 2009, 11:48 pm
