These students are people different in their own ways who might be very open to you being different in your own way. To you, being uniquely yourself!
Okay, I tend to do my own thing politically, but generally on the left-wing side, sure (although as I get older I tend to like labels less and less). And I wish I had been more open to conservative students. And the possibility of good, positive, interesting conversations with dialogue and with respect . . .
'Now, you can't preach at me. And I won't preach at you.'
'I'll mull it over. I do want to take my time. A very interesting argument.'
'We don't need to have immediate responses. I mean, we're not doing a cable news show, right?'
A little bit fun back and forth, respectful that we're probably not going to agree on the substantive issues.
And I might have more in common with a conservative who take these issues seriously than with a fellow student who just isn't interested in it at all.
I was new to a city and I was lonely and bored and looking for activities. In the calendar section of the free weekly newspaper, I saw a listing for a supper club, local politics. Okay, my kind of group. I went to the wrong restaurant (right chain, wrong location). They nicely called the other location and referred to the group as the Republicans. Really? I had somehow missed that entirely. And you know what, the next month I decided to go anyway. I was polite, understated ('I'm really more of a moderate and an independent'), short to medium questions, short to medium sentences. Just trying to appreciate people for where they are, not judging people, being open to appreciating people, trying to take my time before forming judgments, first seeing where people are coming from. And I did much better than at my regular groups!
By focusing on context rather than content, I did better.
At peace groups and the like, I often advance complex theories and try to get people to agree with me. That's jumping levels. That's more something you can do with someone you already know well. But, they do not need to agree with you. But as a friend or someone possibly becoming your friend, they do need to make an effort to understand where you're coming from.
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Artistic students next time. A little bit I might hold off on the classes, but get involved in the extracurriculars. At least be open to this. Savor and play with the possibility.
06 Aug 2009, 11:37 am
