Why say "Miss/Sir" at the end of every sentence?

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gina-ghettoprincess
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31 Aug 2009, 12:11 am

When a teacher is telling you off or whatever, how come if you say something, they'll insist you add "Miss/Sir" or their name on the end of it? What's the point?

Even worse is when you say something (this something could simply be "yes" or "no" in answer to a question), and they act like they didn't hear you, and then you keep repeating it and they keep acting like they didn't hear you, and after about three times you realise they're doing that thing where they don't mean they didn't hear you, they just mean you said something wrong. So you sit there thinking, what's wrong with what I just said? And then it turns out they just want to hear "Miss" at the end of it.

It seems to me that they're on a power trip when they do this. Does it make them feel powerful to force you to say something that has no point to it?

Normally when you say someone's name after something you're saying to them, it's to clarify who you are talking to, right? And in a scenario like this, it's fairly obvious who you're talking to anyway. :?


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Shiggily
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31 Aug 2009, 12:55 am

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
When a teacher is telling you off or whatever, how come if you say something, they'll insist you add "Miss/Sir" or their name on the end of it? What's the point?

Even worse is when you say something (this something could simply be "yes" or "no" in answer to a question), and they act like they didn't hear you, and then you keep repeating it and they keep acting like they didn't hear you, and after about three times you realise they're doing that thing where they don't mean they didn't hear you, they just mean you said something wrong. So you sit there thinking, what's wrong with what I just said? And then it turns out they just want to hear "Miss" at the end of it.

It seems to me that they're on a power trip when they do this. Does it make them feel powerful to force you to say something that has no point to it?

Normally when you say someone's name after something you're saying to them, it's to clarify who you are talking to, right? And in a scenario like this, it's fairly obvious who you're talking to anyway. :?


I am not sure. I only know that it is standard practice in martial arts and in the military. Usually, with those it is more based on rank than anything else. Usually, though if they ask you to repeat it, they make it obvious what they want.

As for other people, I never use it. If someone just keeps repeating themselves, then I won't know what they want because they are not asking me for it. They would expect a child to verbalize what they want, I expect the same from them. In that case, it is their problem and not mine.

However, you are 14 and probably can't get away telling them that.

Basically the sir/mam thing is a sign of respect. But I don't think respect is something you can ask for or demand. It is like demanding a written thank you after every gift you give. You will get the thank you, but it devalues the gift because the gift was given with expected reciprocation.

In the same way, the idea of saying sorry regardless of whether or not you mean it.

So in short, yes it makes them feel respected, even if it has no meaning. Though be careful, because there are people out there who do not want empty respect and will be offended if you give it to them.


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whitetiger
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31 Aug 2009, 4:17 am

It must be a UK thing. American students don't do it and in fact are often rude to teachers. In the south where I grew up, you do answer yes mam or no sir, etc. to teachers and parents. I have cousins in their 40's who still say mam and sir to their parents. I don't hear it here out west.

I don't understand the ego kick they must feel out of it. I think it is the sense of seriousness that the words convey, the formality.


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31 Aug 2009, 4:26 am

Yes, it's a power trip and it may be to your advantage just to put up with it while you are in school. It never occurs to me to use sir or ma'am and I've had bosses who required employees to call them Mr. that I've respected far less than those I called by their first names. In reality it has nothing to do with it but some people value the symbol more than what the symbol represents. Like flag burning-it really is just a piece of cloth.



bdhkhsfgk
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31 Aug 2009, 4:51 am

I have NEVER heard of some rule like that, i have never needed to tell that to teachers, i just say their first name and tell them to come over here and help me, the students often swear to the teachers, throw gums at them, threatens them, and messes up everything and the classroom.



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31 Aug 2009, 7:34 am

I hardly ever say 'Miss' or 'Sir' when talking to a teacher, although everyone else at school does it. It just doesn't come naturally to me, and I feel silly to be saying it after every single sentence.



Tim_Tex
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31 Aug 2009, 7:38 am

It's just respectful.


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zer0netgain
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31 Aug 2009, 8:00 am

Overly formalized politeness.

It has a value. You don't see soldiers failing to present proper respect when dealing with people.

In a way, we've allowed society to become too informal. People don't seem to know how to present the appropriate signs of respect even when it's called for.



duke666
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31 Aug 2009, 11:29 am

Brits are weird <grin>.

Actually, it's a way to reduce 'talking back', by adding a term of respect at the end (or beginning). It can help keep the emotional energy down, if done correctly.

I encounter it in rugby. One always addresses a ref or coach as 'sir', in each and every sentence. The refs also address the players that way. I use it with the kids I coach. Sometimes whoever scores becomes the ref until the next try (goal). So I'll be a player, and a second grader will be ref. I always address him or her as 'sir'. It's pretty funny.


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