A Suggestion to College Students

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In my personal belief, having a social life during your college years is a very good thing to have. From my own social college life, I have been more successful in and out of class and on assignments. Going to your college home sport games is a great way to socialize with people. Also sitting with friends during meals in the dining halls is also good. I have done both social interactions and I love it. So highly recommend that having a social life with your academic life during college.

It's a lot easier to do this if you live in dorms/student residence. If you live with mom and dad, it's a lot tougher.

What do you do then if you hate sports and don't live on campus?

That actually depends since I know a few people who commute to Mason and they still have a social life.

There are other things that you can to be social like going to social events for different clubs and activities. Sporting events are a good portion of social events on college campus. Just having lunch with a few friends and making new friends through your classes and other activities while on campus. Living at home or off campus does not affect the social life of commuter college student because I have friends who commuted to campus and still have a social college life.

Of course having a social life is better than not having one, but it's not too easy to find people to hang out with at college, IME. You know, my classmates at college had totally different interests than me, so it was hard to socialize with them.

Live in the dorms
Keep your door open while you're there
Walk around campus - even if you don't want to approach new people here, people you've already met will want to socialize.
Join clubs
Get a meal plan and ask to join random people (especially small groups or individuals) at meal times.

Especially with the last item, it really helps to have somewhat of an 'introduction script', where you introduce yourself and explain why you're wanting to meet new people and a VERY BRIEF overview of the things you might have trouble with.

Be open to anyone, no matter what their differences and interests are. It can be a lot of fun to find out what other people like and why they like it, even if you don't gain an appreciation for it yourself.

Yes, this worked for me. Too bad I was only in a on campus/in dorms situation for one semester.

Undergrad was wasted in my parents house, and grad school was wasted in off campus apartments. I only got to live on campus/in dorms because immediately after grad school, I went to a new college expressly to learn how to socialize.

Things may not have gone perfectly since then, but those were still the best 4 months of my life.

I been in the dorms during the three years I have completed at Mason. I am in the dorms for my senior year. Ironically, I live like 30 minutes away from campus but I don't drive nor have a license. So I decided to live on campus for many reasons.

Still too complicated! I appreciate that you're on the right track by keeping it brief, but you're still trying to explain too much all at once.

'Hi, may I join you guys?'

And that's all you have to do. Then follow the flow of the conversation and lightly and briefly interject, or during a pause where one topic feels like it as run out, BRIEFLY introduce a topic you have medium interest in (not intense interest, let that come to you, kind of like a poker player letting a hand come to him or her, but in this case, everyone wins the pot!).

Develop these kind of social skills as a second language and allow it to be imperfect. Let a medium mistake stay a medium mistake. If someone gets upset or stiffens up or clams up, let them have space, without the step of trying to decide whether you're wrong (mistaken) or they are. That can come later when you're out jogging, or while you're keeping a light, postive journal and alternating between that with studying, or whatever helps clear your mind. Remember, "normal" people make all kinds of social mistakes, too. I recommend that you not overtry. Take it for what it is, which is some light dinner conversation.

'Hey, have you heard that the Saints are getting Michael Vick?'

'No, no, no, I'm just kidding. But a guy on the radio was saying the Saints should sign Michael Vick!'

A topic that you don't have strong opinions about, that can go either way and you can still appreciate the person. A topic that you can pay attention to the context and keep it light and positive and fun, and not get it so bogged by focusing on content.

You can use this about any NFL franchise in your area, even if you haven't heard the guy on the radio! The fact that you say just kidding in short order kind of lets you off the hook.

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The dorms are the best, but I had a hec of a time telling the difference between guys just shooting the s**t and genuine meaness and bullying.

Groups are okay, but most groups meet so seldom that they never really get going. Then they bail too early with the rationale that people are studying for finals, when the leader is overworked and doesn't have the skills for delegating. That's okay. Accept people as they are. So, by all means, try a variety of groups, just have realistic expectations. And if they ask for volunteers, trust your gut feelings. If you want to volunteer, volunteer for one occasion. 'Let me see how I like it.' Take that approach. But most groups don't even do that. They have a monthly meeting where an invited speaker gives an overly long speech and then too short a period for questions, and that's basically it.

So, light-touch it. Don't invest too much in terms of time, travel, sacrifice, waiting time, etc. Skim a variety of groups, especially the beginning of a semester, especially especially the beginning of Fall semester. And consider forming your own groups, if not this semester, then a future semester.

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Remember, even "normal" people have trouble meeting new people.

Appreciate yourself, and appreciate others. Get to know others in a series of generally small and medium steps.

I won't be going to university (which I'm pretty sure is our equivalent to your college) for a few years, but some of the advice mentioned here seems very valuable and I will keep it in mind for when I do go to uni. Thank you to you all.

Good advice. How exactly did the joining random people during mealtimes work? Isnt it rather ackward? Often I dont have the guts to approach people in that manner or any people for that matter. Approaching people is one of my major social weaknesses.

Ironically I usually try to eat with some of my friends at Mason if I run into them randomly. A good way to socialize in my opinion.

I lived off-campus at a commuter school and had an active social life. That is, with the exception of romance. The one decent girlfriend I had then had finished college a few years before. I met her on a bus when I was traveling home from school and she from work. It was truly a life-changing experience, as she cracked my shell. Until then, I had no idea how offensive I could be. I kind of wish she had married me. Her tremendous social intelligence would have spared me a lot of grief later.

So far during my senior year at Mason, I am doing pretty well with being social and working on class work. So I am at balance. The volleyball and soccer games I have gone to were exciting to be at for sure!

Find activities you can engage in when you are on campus. I was a Disc Jockey for the college radio station. Granted, I was on campus, but lots of students did this on their own time when they were at the campus. You'd meet other like minded people.

Joining/starting a rock band will make you popular pretty much guaranteed.