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gnosislogicemotion
Blue Jay
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14 Nov 2009, 4:17 pm

Apparently I'm "totally awesome". I went to one of their parties and met some of the guys and now they want to recruit me. They seem like pretty cool guys, but I'll have social commitments and as an introverted sort of guy that will take a lot out of me. My only real social aspiration (lol aspie-ration) is to meet a nice girl and joining the frat will definitely afford me more opportunities to do so. I just don't know if the commitment will be worth it for the pay-off.

Anyone here join a fraternity?
What was required of you?
What were the benefits?

Apparently they don't do any hazing rituals... but I don't know how true that is.

Halp?


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Rain_Bird
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14 Nov 2009, 4:52 pm

Honestly, I wouldn't join if I were you. They could just be saying that they think that you're "totally awesome" to mess with you and to get you to join so that they can haze and torture you. But that's just my paranoia talking (I have had people pretend to want me to be part of this social group just so they could poke fun at me, but I can usually see right through their plan). From what I've seen (and really, I don't actually know many guys who were in a fraternity, since I go to a community college), the kind of guys who are in fraternities are not the kind of guys you really want to hang out with, unless all you care about is drinking and acting like a d-bag. You say that you're only real social aspiration is to meet a nice girl, but I really don't think that joining a fraternity would help you meet a nice girl. You'll meet girls yes, but they probably won't be "nice" girls and you'll end up getting your heart broken. You'd be better off just joining a club or something for that.



chelischili7
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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14 Nov 2009, 7:30 pm

I would not join this fraternity if I were you.

You will probably be asked to do things that will be uncomfortable for you. You will be in a large environment with lots of sensory triggers that could cause you trouble. You would be expected to do things that will be uncomfortable for you. Oh yeah, you would not meet nice girls either. The majority of girls you meet at fraternities will break your heart down the road.

I almost made the same mistake myself a few years ago.



jamesp420
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15 Nov 2009, 3:53 pm

I would, but that's probably just me. I like having fun and doing crazy things...the parties and the girls, that's my kind of thing, but if that's not you, and it doesn't seem like it is, then you probably shouldn't join.


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Jaydog1212
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15 Nov 2009, 4:39 pm

I pledged a fraternity. My advice is to go to a couple more parties to see if you like it. If you don't, I wouldn't force yourself into liking something you don't. As far as meeting girls, that is one route but of course is not the only route. To be honest, the social commitments was way too much for me. I need recover time after a social outing. It seems like after I was done volunteering, studying, going to a social it was too exhausting for me. There seemed to a wide array of guys in the fraternity. It wasn't all popped collars and blow out haircuts (of course, there was a few that fit the stereotype). I didn't have to do anything real insane like eating from a dog bowl etc. There are goofy "secret" rituals....I was encouraged to drink but not to the point of killing myself (like some of those dateline specials). I never allowed someone to make me drink more than I wanted to. Of course, each fraternity I think has a different reputation ("partiers", etc.).

In sum, if you're interested check it out. If it doesn't appeal to you and you're simply wanting to join to attract girls there are different social avenues you can take.



gnosislogicemotion
Blue Jay
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15 Nov 2009, 5:50 pm

Jaydog1212 wrote:
I pledged a fraternity. My advice is to go to a couple more parties to see if you like it. If you don't, I wouldn't force yourself into liking something you don't. As far as meeting girls, that is one route but of course is not the only route. To be honest, the social commitments was way too much for me. I need recover time after a social outing. It seems like after I was done volunteering, studying, going to a social it was too exhausting for me. There seemed to a wide array of guys in the fraternity. It wasn't all popped collars and blow out haircuts (of course, there was a few that fit the stereotype). I didn't have to do anything real insane like eating from a dog bowl etc. There are goofy "secret" rituals....I was encouraged to drink but not to the point of killing myself (like some of those dateline specials). I never allowed someone to make me drink more than I wanted to. Of course, each fraternity I think has a different reputation ("partiers", etc.).

In sum, if you're interested check it out. If it doesn't appeal to you and you're simply wanting to join to attract girls there are different social avenues you can take.


This sounds like the best advice. When you mention other social avenues for meeting women (forgive my obtuseness), what would some examples be?


_________________
In my darkest moment fetal and weeping,
the moon tells me your secret; my confidant:
"As full and bright as I am,this light is not my own.
The source is bright and endless.
She resuscitates the hopeless.
Without her we are lifeless satellites.&a


Jaydog1212
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15 Nov 2009, 10:09 pm

Be everywhere there are people. Meet you’re neighbors if you live in a dorm. Meet your RA. Leave your door open to allow people to pop in and say something. Talk to people that sit next to you in classes. Join a study group. Join clubs and organizations. Go to school events (sports, festivals, theater, and music).

Then if you find someone you're interested in then you can ask if they want to go to a movie or something......



ottorocketforever
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16 Nov 2009, 1:25 am

I wouldn't, but if you do, be careful. If it doesn't feel right to you, then don't do it. Just my two cents.



gnosislogicemotion
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16 Nov 2009, 7:05 am

Jaydog1212 wrote:
Be everywhere there are people. Meet you’re neighbors if you live in a dorm. Meet your RA. Leave your door open to allow people to pop in and say something. Talk to people that sit next to you in classes. Join a study group. Join clubs and organizations. Go to school events (sports, festivals, theater, and music).

Then if you find someone you're interested in then you can ask if they want to go to a movie or something......


Right. I suppose. Quite honestly, that sounds like more work than sucking it up for a few hours at an obnoxious frat party once a week. On the bright side, I've learned to be friendly, so everyone I meet is on good terms with me. That's a good start for social networking. The advantage of partying with the frat is that (as sad as it is) alcohol is a fast and dirty way of creating warm memories with the opposite sex of delightful coversations and shared circumstances. ehhhh maybe I'm just a tool vOv

ottorocketforever wrote:
I wouldn't, but if you do, be careful. If it doesn't feel right to you, then don't do it. Just my two cents.


Duly noted my friend.


_________________
In my darkest moment fetal and weeping,
the moon tells me your secret; my confidant:
"As full and bright as I am,this light is not my own.
The source is bright and endless.
She resuscitates the hopeless.
Without her we are lifeless satellites.&a


Tach
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17 Nov 2009, 9:36 am

I have a feeling... IT'S A TRAP!


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