wanted to cry during career prep class the other day

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This careers class, of course, assumes that everyone taking it is an NT. The instructor is VERY nice, and he knows I have a hidden disability but I haven't disclosed exactly what it is. I get depressed in that class because there are so many aspects to getting and keeping a job that are going to require a ton of extra effort on my part (which I am willing to put forth!) and/or require some personality traits that are going to be pretty much impossible for someone with AS to accomplish.

Anyhow, the instructor had two people leave the room while he left with them and gave them some secret instructions. Then he and the two students came back in. He said to pretend that one of the students had a 4.0 GPA, belonged to a few clubs, etc., while the other one had a 2.1 GPA, did nothing outside of going to class, and was barely getting by. We were asked, based on the "first impressions" that the two students were instructed to give us, to guess who was who. Of course, the student playing the role of the 4.0 person mumbled, didn't make eye contact, etc., and the one playing the lower GPA person introduced herself in a confident, friendly voice, made eye contact, etc. You know where I am going with this. Of course, everyone thought that the outgoing person had the good credentials. I wanted so badly to stand up and yell, "But how do you know the person with the 4.0 doesn't have some sort of social disability??" but I didn't.

I know the instructor did not intend to be hurtful in any way, and was simply trying to portray the way the real world works. I know all too well how the real world works, and it just made me sad to be reminded of it. I am so worried that I will still be unemployable after I get my degree, even though I am working my butt off trying to get the "people skills" nailed down.

The powerpoint that immediately preceded this demonstration included, in capital letters, "PERCEPTION = REALITY." About 75% of the time I attend a session of this class, I leave it thinking, "I am so screwed." It's my last class of the day, so I go back to the apt. and try to do homework with all that weighing heavily on my mind.

I am tired of getting straight A's and being told how gifted I am, and then ending up cleaning toilets or something if I can find any work at all. I hope that a bachelor's degree and all the people-skills work I am putting in will avoid that. Anyhow, I just had to get my frustration out...thanks for reading.

I don't know if it's too late, but you should confront that professor and educate him about AS.

While his lesson is (sadly) correct, he should be aware that many capable and even gifted people are grossly disadvantaged in opportunity because of a disability they may or may not be able to adequately compensate for.

I know how to interview for a job, what should I do, what I should not do....however, SIMULATING appropriate conduct and doing it GENUINELY are two different things and while I can do one, I rarely can do the other.

If the interviewer is observant, they can sense the difference. So, act NT all you want, but if it comes across as contrived, it has no real benefit...it can even make you look like a phony.

Well, he's a really easy-going guy, so actually confronting him would kind of be overkill. However, you are correct; it might not be a bad idea to tell him about AS.

In the meantime, my next step is to use Thanksgiving break to go through the notes I took in class, compile a list of my shortcomings based on those notes, and meet with my voc rehab counselor to discuss them and see what can be fixed with practice, what will have to be compensated for somehow, and what isn't realistically possible.

TOTALLY agree on simulation vs. doing it genuinely. I think interviewers do sense that something doesn't seem right.

The older I get, the easier it is to pass for NT, but I still use up an unbelievable amount of energy doing so, and I get tired very easily. Even on the rare occasions I can pass during an interview, eventually when I'm on the job I get too exhausted to keep up the facade...and next thing I know, I'm unemployed again.

The voc rehab person actually has an office right on campus, and she said she can act as a "tutor" for me for this class, so I'm going to take her up on it. She also said that she can sort of be an interface/introduction for me for interviewers. That way, they will already know that I may not come off the way that is expected in the interview, but that I have many qualities that would make me a good employee.

(BTW, I kind of wasn't sure whether to put this post in the college forum or the jobs forum, but since it's a class (for now), I posted it here.)