Autism, Aspergers and ADHD kids "bullied" by teach

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Starrsy
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16 Jan 2010, 2:51 pm

I swear thats what happens. ive seen so many kids beat the crap out of someoen else, and just get put in isolation.

Me, or a kid with ADHD beats less crap out of someone and we get excluded for a week or something. Same thing with swearing at teachers, the "Normal" kids get off easier. is this how it is/was at your schools?


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Grahamy
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16 Jan 2010, 2:58 pm

Although I've never misbehaved in school. I do have one story. In sixth grade, I was called "gay" by this girl, and I thought it was disrespectful so I reported it to both my teacher, and worse yet... AID. And she said that I was lieing, so they gave me a detention. Isn't that nice??


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rabryst
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16 Jan 2010, 3:33 pm

I was considered a "problem child" at school because I exhibited all of the ADHD symptoms - it just didn't have a name back then.

I only swore at a teacher once, and it ended in an amusing way. He said something that insulted me, and before I could think, I said "f*** you". When he picked up the blackboard duster to throw at me, I added "sir", to imply that I disagreed with him, but I still respected him. He put down the duster and we were cool afterwards about it.

But the OP has a good point: I taught in 2005 and one of my students had ADHD and the staff were biased against anything he did, even if he didn't mean to hurt anyone. It was extremely frustrating for me to see, and I tried to get some of them to see from his point of view. Fortunately the headmaster understood him, but other kids are not so lucky.


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MorbidMiss
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16 Jan 2010, 5:16 pm

Not to be the party pooper, but have you considered just not beating the crap out of people?

I have ADHD, undiagnosed until adulthood, and I was never really aggressive. I was very fidgety and on top of being hyper I am extremely tactile and feel the need to touch random things almost constantly. It was not helpful in school. On top of everything else I was shy and easily bored.

Being different sometimes sucks. Trust me I understand that, I was very different. That does not excuse getting into fights, and the fact that the other kids get into less trouble for it does not make those actions appropriate.

I think I probably had it a bit easier being female, and I have noticed that my AS kid did seem to get into worse punishment for same behaviors as normal kids when he was getting into trouble. However I told him, and it is sound advice that worked, that he needed to stop paying attention to those other kids and mind his own business. Once he stopped trying to compare himself to other people he got into less trouble.

I also pointed out to the staff that I felt he was getting more punishment than other children who were doing the same sorts of things, and that it was awfully convenient that other children would bully him when there were no staff around, until he would hit them back and then magically an adult would see it.

Between that and our advising him at home to just avoid situations where there were no adults present/nearby he stopped getting into altercations.



BokeKaeru
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18 Jan 2010, 4:01 am

I don't think that, just because someone is different, they should just have to sit there and passively take it. I had far too much of that "be the bigger person" load of bull growing up, and as far as I saw it, it didn't matter how I acted, because everyone, child and adult, had decided that I was a monster no matter how I responded to being hurt. If normal people have the seeming right to be offensive and hurtful in the eyes of the authorities, than surely us who are weird should have a right of self-defense, including the ability to make people know that it is NOT a good idea to screw with us ever again. After all, if the authorities are going to outright refuse to do anything about it, somebody has to do something, and it might as well be the victims of overlooked abuse. "Taking the higher moral ground" and not standing up for oneself vehemently never seems to do anything more than get one further traumatized.



MorbidMiss
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20 Jan 2010, 12:46 am

It isn't a matter of being a bigger person. You don't have to be a wimp to avoid getting into physical altercations. It is a matter of being smart about who is watching and when.

Hitting someone back who has struck you first is not the same as beating the crap out of someone.



Thundaeagle
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20 Jan 2010, 2:51 am

I had problems at my old school where, for example, I'd get kicked out of class for having an outburst because someone gave me a hard time. They also didn't believe me when I told them that particualr people were bullying me. Glad the school I go to is soooo much better.



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30 Jan 2010, 6:15 pm

So what' new? I will dance at my third grade teacher's funeral. I had lots of as*hole teachers but my third grade teacher seemed to get a thrill from belitting me. I had severe trouble in math, espicaly multiclipation. She used this to her advantage. Every day when school was almost over she would have timed quizes of multiclipation tables. If you got EVERY single problem right you could pick out a prize. I could only get past the twos but you could only get a prize if you could finish the threes. I finnaly got to the threes but could never get every single problem correct (I couldn't even do that with the 2's) and by the time I had made it that far, she no longer gave out prizes. She deserves to be hung for that alone. At the beginning of the year I was thrilled that the second chapter of the sceince book was about animals (my special intrest). I litteraly counted the days until we were done with the first one only to find out we were going to skip that chapter. I think she did that because she knew it was the only thing I was good at. She also encouraged the other kids to make fun of me for my stims. She only added to my isolation by seperating me from the rest of the class and next to a bully she did other things too and if I knew it was physically possible to kill oneself I would have. There is no way to justify anything she did and I will never forgive her.

I personaly think they need cameras in school classrooms and if the teacher tries to turn it off an alarm will siren and she will lose her job as a teacher period or they need a special key that only the principal has acess to to turn them off. If a TV or camera wasn't working for some reason, classes would be cancled until they could be fixed. I would mount them in every angel of the classroom. I don't like the idea of cameras everywhere in public places you can usualy choose if you want to go there or not but in places where kids are there against their will, there needs to be cameras to protect them. I had a bus driver who was from Hell. When they issued cameras on the school bus, he would turn it off.


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ursaminor
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30 Jan 2010, 6:36 pm

PunkyKat wrote:
So what' new? I will dance at my third grade teacher's funeral. I had lots of as*hole teachers but my third grade teacher seemed to get a thrill from belitting me. I had severe trouble in math, espicaly multiclipation. She used this to her advantage. Every day when school was almost over she would have timed quizes of multiclipation tables. If you got EVERY single problem right you could pick out a prize. I could only get past the twos but you could only get a prize if you could finish the threes. I finnaly got to the threes but could never get every single problem correct (I couldn't even do that with the 2's) and by the time I had made it that far, she no longer gave out prizes. She deserves to be hung for that alone. At the beginning of the year I was thrilled that the second chapter of the sceince book was about animals (my special intrest). I litteraly counted the days until we were done with the first one only to find out we were going to skip that chapter. I think she did that because she knew it was the only thing I was good at. She also encouraged the other kids to make fun of me for my stims. She only added to my isolation by seperating me from the rest of the class and next to a bully she did other things too and if I knew it was physically possible to kill oneself I would have. There is no way to justify anything she did and I will never forgive her.

I personaly think they need cameras in school classrooms and if the teacher tries to turn it off an alarm will siren and she will lose her job as a teacher period or they need a special key that only the principal has acess to to turn them off. If a TV or camera wasn't working for some reason, classes would be cancled until they could be fixed. I would mount them in every angel of the classroom. I don't like the idea of cameras everywhere in public places you can usualy choose if you want to go there or not but in places where kids are there against their will, there needs to be cameras to protect them. I had a bus driver who was from Hell. When they issued cameras on the school bus, he would turn it off.
You've posted this exact message at 'Horrible Teachers' too. Why?



PunkyKat
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30 Jan 2010, 10:55 pm

ursaminor wrote:
PunkyKat wrote:
So what' new? I will dance at my third grade teacher's funeral. I had lots of as*hole teachers but my third grade teacher seemed to get a thrill from belitting me. I had severe trouble in math, espicaly multiclipation. She used this to her advantage. Every day when school was almost over she would have timed quizes of multiclipation tables. If you got EVERY single problem right you could pick out a prize. I could only get past the twos but you could only get a prize if you could finish the threes. I finnaly got to the threes but could never get every single problem correct (I couldn't even do that with the 2's) and by the time I had made it that far, she no longer gave out prizes. She deserves to be hung for that alone. At the beginning of the year I was thrilled that the second chapter of the sceince book was about animals (my special intrest). I litteraly counted the days until we were done with the first one only to find out we were going to skip that chapter. I think she did that because she knew it was the only thing I was good at. She also encouraged the other kids to make fun of me for my stims. She only added to my isolation by seperating me from the rest of the class and next to a bully she did other things too and if I knew it was physically possible to kill oneself I would have. There is no way to justify anything she did and I will never forgive her.

I personaly think they need cameras in school classrooms and if the teacher tries to turn it off an alarm will siren and she will lose her job as a teacher period or they need a special key that only the principal has acess to to turn them off. If a TV or camera wasn't working for some reason, classes would be cancled until they could be fixed. I would mount them in every angel of the classroom. I don't like the idea of cameras everywhere in public places you can usualy choose if you want to go there or not but in places where kids are there against their will, there needs to be cameras to protect them. I had a bus driver who was from Hell. When they issued cameras on the school bus, he would turn it off.
You've posted this exact message at 'Horrible Teachers' too. Why?


Because it's extremely dificult for me too look back on what happened then, let alone write at all. If the topic was about the same things it makes sence to me to post the same thing.


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AspiInLV
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30 Jan 2010, 11:07 pm

to really draw attention to the problem, by the students doing blatantly unfair things like flunking fellow students they do not like.



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31 Jan 2010, 12:17 am

MorbidMiss wrote:
Not to be the party pooper, but have you considered just not beating the crap out of people?

I got into trouble without ever beating the crap out of anyone. (I was too small and scrawny to seriously hurt anyone even if I wanted to) If someone else started a fight with me, I would get in more trouble than they would.


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MorbidMiss
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31 Jan 2010, 3:30 am

That is when it pays to have a parent that is willing to advocate for you. In our situation it was a combination of speaking with several members of the school staff (including the principle who I personally thought/think is a complete and utter moron), and helping my oldest see that he was leaving himself too open for confrontation.

If you make sure you are in line of sight of the adults then the bullies typically have no choice but to leave you be.

We have been very lucky as far as teachers go, in this school most of his teachers have been to workshops on both the spectrum in general and Asperger's specifically. In his old school they shuffled him off to the resource room because he was "disruptive". In this one he is in Gifted and Talented. I have had more trouble with parents of friends of his not understanding his behavior. My husband and I have learned to be very cautious about who he hangs out with.



PunkyKat
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01 Feb 2010, 4:09 am

Orwell wrote:
MorbidMiss wrote:
Not to be the party pooper, but have you considered just not beating the crap out of people?

I got into trouble without ever beating the crap out of anyone. (I was too small and scrawny to seriously hurt anyone even if I wanted to) If someone else started a fight with me, I would get in more trouble than they would.


Same happened with me only the real perpertrator didn't get in trouble at all. I was treated like a terriost.


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01 Feb 2010, 5:05 am

Sentences for behaviour can be biassed, but it can be difficult to put the right amount of 'blame' on two fighting people. Most teachers do not see everything that happens. My experience with teachers is that they have not enough knowledge about autism and such. But there are also teachers that just do not like children that are 'different', because it takes effort (and they are lazy bastards). Teachers should have a good education about different kinds of children. Also on different learning styles. That can make their live easier, because some children can learn easier in a different way.


About the fighting, it can be really calming and satisfying, even when you do not win. It is not decent and civilised and should be avoided at all times. Following social rules is preferential.

When I was still in school I had some minor fights, I was not good at them most where lost or interrupted. When I was 'winning' I did not stop until the opponent was completely down. That resulted in one boy who could not walk for a day and had belly pains for three days, he never dared to see at me again and it gave me a long time of peace and quiet. Since that fight was outside school I did not get punished.



WeirdO
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08 Feb 2010, 11:47 am

i am aspie, i do not have a paper(my mother denies, so i cannot go to a person like this)
and i am bullied everytime i do something aspielike, etc no control over intonation or volume, "speaking BS" with my teachers words, or something like that, also almost all of my mateys hate me, if not hate is the best word then despise, or fear in a way...so i get my chair glued, my clothes drew, or my hair full of trash, they throw me with junk. i really wanted to be a nice guy but this ain't working and it is so bad. yeah you could tell i am in a bad school, it is almost one of the bests, but i am bullied all the time, but the worst is that i always get worse marks than i deserve. they treat me like a nerd or noob or nobody or i do not know the proper word...dumbass perhaps, and when i am face to face with a single man, just two of us, teacher or student, they tell me how intelligent and delighted and clever i am, and all that, but when they are many, they do it again. this feels so bad, and i am depressed a bit for this


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