A crazy story, but I need answers!! Please!!

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Hey guys.

This is going to seem like an absolutely crazy story, but hey, I need help here so I'll go ahead...

OK soooo... I guess the first thing to say is, I'm autistic (that's a good start ) and so, at my University, I am constantly in touch with the disability advisors. Well... was. See, they found out something about me that I didn't want them or anybody to know, and I personally wanted to forget about, so I kind of 'fell out' with them, and it was only a couple of weeks ago that I saw them for the first time since December (to return something they gave me on loan). They still have my disability benefits. I have yet to claim them. They, for some reason, won't let me have them. Exams are coming up and it'll be pretty damn useless if I was to get them after the exams.

One of the last things the disability advisor said to me on my last visit, after I said, "People don't usually respond to my emails" (see below for more details), was: "We will always read and respond to your emails." I sent them two emails (regarding my disability allowance). No reply. That was a couple of weeks ago. Glad to see they're doing their job.

But that ain't my main concern, bizarrely. When I came to University, I wanted to start up my religious life again (don't criticise me, OK? ), partly because I knew it would make me happier. So, for lack of any other ideas, I tried to contact the chaplain appropriate to my faith. That was two months ago. Three emails. Yep, the chaplain's ignoring me.

A month after this, I got the idea, hey, why not contact the 'senior' chaplain (one of a different faith, but I have been told he is the 'main guy') and ask him, erm, why this chaplain isn't responding. I didn't get a helpful response ("Oh, oh, but he's a nice chaplain really, give the poor guy a break"), so I played the 'autistic card', because, you know, sometimes people take pity on a poor lil autistic girl . It didn't work. And now he's ignoring me too. This is obviously discrimination as everything was going ever so well and he was treating me like a normal human being right up until that point, but I am, quite honestly, too embarrassed about it all to tell anyone (except anonymously over the Internet, of course).

As you can see, I am not happy. Why the hell should I be happy?? "University is the time for YOOOOUU" I have been told. Doesn't bloody well seem like it. Everyone's ignoring me and I haven't a frickin' clue what to do about this. I have always had low self-esteem, ever since I was a little kid (due to more than 10 years of child-abuse, by the way), and this is not helping. To have not one, but THREE people, who are employed to listen, ignore you. Whoop-de-doo. It's just fantastic to be me, eh? (There is, however, a good side to this. I have always loved irony. Every time I think about how these people are treating me I laugh a little. It's bloody fantastic.)

I'm not comfortable talking with anyone, but I need the following problems sorting out:

1 - I need to collect my disability allowance. I've been trying to go up and see the advisors personally, but too scared (I am a wimp).
2 - I don't want the chaplain to win. I am going to see him/get a response from him (the first one I mentioned) if it's the last thing I do. Although I do wonder how. I'm too shy to actually go to the chaplaincy office (apparently he's not always in anyway) and I have an extreme phobia of telephones. And, as we have established, emailing is useless.

I had the crazy idea of emailing the advisors and asking them for help regarding (2), but I doubt their competance, to be honest.

Furthermore, I am very much tempted to leave the University because of all the crap they've given me.

Sorry for the long post, but...
Help?

Pretty please?


Thanks!!

Stop hiding behind your computer and go talk to them.



Stop hiding behind your computer and go talk to him.

I realize this isn't what you want to hear, but you live in an NT world and are trying to communicate with them. If you're going to get what you want, you need to stop hiding and make an attempt to communicate in person.

Lol! I've tried talking to the assisted learning people/disability advisors, but whenever I mention the allowance, they don't want to talk about it, even though I know it has come through and it's waiting for me to pick it up. It's like they don't want me to have it Now I don't really see the point.

As for Mr Chaplain, uh that's complicated anyway... No really, it is. He apparently only comes in when he feels like it. Or something. Plus, if I turned up uninvited, wouldn't that be rather rude? Especially considering how both these chaplains are treating me now?

Go in person and politely but firmly tell them you know it has come through and that you are going to have to file a formal complaint if the issue isn't clarified. They are withholding your money from you, after all. If that doesn't work, send a letter to whoever their boss is briefly mentioning that they persistently failed to reply to email, that you know the money has come through, etc. Essentially, 'they have my money and refuse to give it to me' but in more formal language. If you can make it legal-sounding so much the better.



Provided it's within normal working hours, it's sort of part of their job description to deal with this kind of thing. I'm not sure if there's much point given that you would be unlikely to have much confidence in them anyway. Is there a priest elsewhere you could talk to?

Regarding your benefits, when you say "they won't give them to you", do you mean you have gone to the appropriate office, specifically asked for your check (or whatever it is), and they flat-out refused to give it to you? Didn't they give some reason?

This sounds rather bizarre. This is the same office that dispensed your benefits up till now, correct? They must have some reason why they're withholding them now. They can't simply say "Yes, we have your check but no, you can't have it" without some reason. What do you mean when you say "they don't want to talk about it"? Do you say "where's my check?" and they respond "we're not talking about that"? There is something very strange about this.

Is there a connection between your benefits and the chaplains not responding to you? What do the chaplains have to do with disability benefits?

Sorry if I'm not understanding your situation. But I agree with pbcoll. You need to get to the bottom of this.

Well, whenever I go up to the assited learning office (or whatever it's called) and say, "I hear my money's come through..." or "When will I get my benefits?" etc, they simply try to avoid and change the subject or ignore me entirely. On one occasion I was asking about my benefits, and a deaf boy just so happened to come into the office at that point and they took priority over his problem, so I didn't get the chance to get an answer from them (I had to leave after 10 minutes, and they knew this). But you know, if there's anything they can do to avoid the subject of my money, they will take it!! They've had the check for about, what, 2 months now, and even the paperwork for the benefits was delayed...

Yeah, it's also their job to listen to people, answer their questions, and treat them as ordinary human beings, regardless of their disabilities or whatever. Looks like both chaplains failed there.



Actually, that was part of my question to the first chaplain

Go and file a formal complaint then; write letters to whoever their boss is, to whatever agency is handing out the funds for the checks, etc; make them clear, formal and legal-sounding. They change the subject or ignore you because you let them, essentially; if after two months you're still letting them ignore you, you're letting them walk all over you. If they have your check and they're not giving it to you, that is basically theft.

You need to find someone that can talk to the people at the office for you. Do you have a parent or relative or good friend that could go in with you and talk to them. You need to get a specific reason why your check is being withheld and don't let them ignore you. If they don't have good reason to hold the check you should contact a lawyer. Something doesn't sound right.

That sounds like a good idea.

You could also complain to the student union body if your uni has one. Personally I have found this helps, though i've only gone to them with queries about more academic stuff.

It depends on your university - presuming that you go to Bristol (which your profile implies) you would probably not have a problem, in general they are good with Disability. Some universities (particuarly outside of the UK, though there are a few bad ones over here too) are poor when it comes to disability.

OP: Unless you really know what you are doing, it might be worth getting advice from an advocacy organisation who may well be able to help you. If you want to go down the formal line later, make sure you save your emails, including the ones which you sent.

I actually go to the University of the West of England in Bristol so I cant comment on what the Disability service is like at Bristol Uni, but from my experiences at UWE it has been excllent so far, and was one of the biggest factors in influencing me to go there.

I would expect it to be good too, being an ex-poly. Its certain old-fashioned universities which tend to be problematic, a few who actually go to the trouble of trying to get around their legal obligations, rather than actually wanting disabled students there to succeed. Unfortunately there is still a competition among the "top" universities to be the most out of date. My university is a particular problem.