Not connecting with other students

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It has been in a University setting for 4 days and I love my classes and I am very into my school work. I am also a fairly new student as a transferred junior after 5 years of online classes at a jr. college and finally graduating. However, I notice that I go and sit in my classes and I just see everyone else connecting with each other and I have such a hard time of it. Like today, for instance, I noticed that everyone from my English class seemed to connect with each other but I have not seemed to make one single connection with anyone here. Does anyone have some sort of suggestions?

join the club.

i was like that at college as well.


my advice would be, find a couple of friends (if i can do it, anyone can lol), ie just go sit with one of the more quieter people in the place.

im not quite sure how i got talking to a few people (given that i rarely talk), so i cant really explain. but it took some time.

And keep it simple, "hi" . . . "how's it going" . . that kind of thing.

And reciprocating, that's also a valuable social skill.

Yeah, and it probably won't be well received.

As an undergrad at age 28, you're considered a "non-traditional" student by the administration and just "old" by more traditional undergrads.

I didn't get a B.S. until I was 28, from university #2. #1 ended in disaster. I have no friends from either. This crap about making "BFFs" at college and learning valuable "life lessons" is just that--crap for NTs to digest.

Forget about a "social life"--that isn't why you're there now. Concentrate on your studies and getting out with your degree. That's what you're paying for.

Maybe if you try to find out what they like to chat about, like tv shows, music, cinema, parties, the subjects they are studying or work etc and try to join the conversation. That is what a friend told me once. My friends were of the nerdy type and well what we talked about were academic subjects. But not everyone is like that. Some people like to talk about other things like sports or friendships.

And in my class at university there were people of all ages and we also talked with them. One of my best friends there had already graduated from the statistics course. I thought he was cool because he was a "reliable" source of information and experience because he was older. I was like his "pupil"! LOL!

I hope that you make some friends.

And one approach, trying to find and trying to generally be open to the political students and to the artistic students. Out of college, I have had some success attending BOTH Democratic and Republican monthly group meetings. I tell people, 'I'm kind of a moderate and independent. I'm here to learn.'

You could try joining some of the student organizations, if there are any that pertain to any of your interests.

I've been in college for 3 years now, and I haven't even made one friend. So don't feel so bad.

I have one great friend from college who I still talk to and hang out with. He is from El Salvador. Latinos and other foreigners are way more friendly than the locals. You will also learn some Spanish too.

However, in roommate situations, with this guy from Malaysia, and with a couple of different Indian students, I think int'l students were disappointed that I did not provide them with an "in" to American society, and I can kind of understand that.

Now, and here's the artful part, if you can anticipate this, you might be able to take a proactive step. 'I'm actually kind of a nerd,' something as simple as that, and then if the international student is in a friendly, meeting-people mood, he or she might say, 'I'm a nerd, too.' To which you can just say 'Okay' and enjoy the interaction and just let it be, and then let the conversation flow to other topics.

(I sometimes rehearse conversations on paper like this, and I find it helpful. Even though they don't come out exactly as planned, I actually think it's better that way, just loosely guided.)

+1

He knows about my quirks but he just can't put a label on it. He accepts me for who I am though.

Listen out for the sort of questions that other people ask each other, and the sort of topics that they go on about and try to incorporate it into your own chit-chat phrase book.

You have to be brave and strike up conversation; start small; a simple smile and hello to the person sitting beside you is a good way to begin.

And, imperfectly done, for you are not trying to 'excel.' You're mainly just trying to casually skim and be present in case the person happens to be in an open, communicative mood. And you yourself kind of lightly stay in this kind of mood.