Class mate asking to borrow book

Post Reply New Topic

I have a class mate in one of my classes who sits next to me in one of my classes and she seems nice enough but something about her seems a little off. At the end of class today, she told me that she wanted to know if she could sometimes borrow my textbook for class since she couldn't afford it. I then suggested to her that I could xerox several pages of the textbook so that she could catch up. However, she continued to whine that she needed to read the textbook and I said that I would think about it. Does is sound like she is being manipulative to you? It just seems that way to me and she seems so sleezy to me.

Why does she think you personally are obligated to loan her your book? Tell her you need it for yourself. The whole thing sounds odd.

It sounds like she isn't the responsible type at the very least. She'd probably leave it at home (by accident or intent) for weeks, leaving you without a book. Or sell it or lose it or something.

NEVER LOAN BOOKS OF ANY KIND. People treat books like s**t, especially other people's books. I'm guessing this is a textbook which is probably costly.

How should I tell her that I need the book for myself without accusing her of trying to steal or manipulate me?

Miyah

Tell her you have a policy of not lending books. Suggest that the book might be available at the library. It is not your responsibility to make your book available to her. You need your book, and you want to have it available when you want it. It is not reasonable for you to have to work around her schedule, even if she were going to be responsible about it - which is NOT something you can count on. If she were responsible about books, she would have made arrangements to have books and not been trying to "guilt" you into sharing your book with her.

A lot of my former classmates have tried to use me to borrow textbooks or my notes from me or to copy my homework assignments. I think it may be because I give off a vibe of being naive and/ or socially awkward, so they think it is easy to take advantage of me. These classmates would borrow a book and not return it for a long time, and expect to be able to borrow it any time they needed to. Some would go to great lengths to pretend to be my friends only to beg me to write an essay for them or want to copy my assignments (in something like stats class where you can just copy calculations). My NT friend says that this is part of the university experience...... people make a nerdy friend so they can do less work..... They make friends/connections that will help them out etc. Anyways, I think this girl sounds like a user. I think you should tell her that you need your own book.... and that she can photo-copy from your book, or she can take out a copy of it as the school library, but you cannot lend her yours. I always had difficulty doing this though. I am horrible at confrontation......which may be why this keeps happening to me. Good luck.

She should have been grateful that you were willing to xerox some pages for her so she could catch up. I can't stand guilt trippers.

She sounds a b***h. Don't lend it; there's bound to be a copy in the college library if she's that desperate.

Say no in a clear,loud and dry voice.

It's her responsibility as a UNI student to get hold of her stuffs.Having reached that far,she should be independent enough to seek a way to do it.

And books are precious stuffs,you'll never know what others would .Some of my past classmates had their stuffs borrowed by their friends and sometimes they never got it back until the end of the year,and yes they're normal.Don't risk something when you don't know the outcome.In life,we can't always promise stuffs.

As an excuse,just say that it was a book that someone else had borrowed you and they wouldn't want you to borrow to someone else that they don't know.Or you could say that you've made important notes on your textbook that you'll need to revise stuffs.Or you could say that you need to study a lot in order to get good grades.

I don't think that she's manipulative,I trust people a lot,but just don't try to borrow things much.Things aren't guaranteed to return in its original form.

Your book= your property.
Just say no.

tell her she needs to go to the schools library cause instuctors usually keep a copy in there